swatting babys hands?

yssej7 · June 2012

When would think its appropriate to swat LO hands (nothing that would hurt, just to give then a little straddle).. I'm not by any means talking about SPANKING!

I'm wondering because My DD was in her walker the other day and wouldnt leave the garbage can alone. I removed her hands several times and told her that its yucky and we dont play with the garbage. After several times of doing this I just moved that garbage can out of the room (out of sight out of mind) but in the back of my head I'm also thinking how is she going to learn the meaning of the word no if I just remove her from whatever she's trying to do.

She also pinches me all the time. (I know babies do that) but again I move her and and tell her it hurts mommy and its not nice but she then thinks its funny and laugh's.and does it again and again.

Again, I'm not talking about "spanking" I'm talking about a little light swat to the hands just enough to straddle her.

My DH says when she understands the word "NO" then its appropriate. Which I also agree with but on the other hand how will she learn the meaning of no and the consequences not listening

Just to make it perfectly clear (I dont want to be scolded or anyone thinking I'm spanking my 7 month old DD) I am not spanking her and dont plan on doing so. I'm not even swatting her hands at this point. I just looking for other opinions on this subject. So PLEASE no scolding me.. I'm just curious.

Thanks.

mnewlee · June 2012

I've swatted DD's hands a few time. Not hard enough to hurt, just to kind of snap her out of what she's doing.

It's usually when she's pulling my hair and she's got both hands in it and is really going to town and I can't get her disentangled. A quick swat and a sharp "No!" usually brings her down to earth long enough to get free.

I wouldn't do it on a regular basis but sometimes it's necessary.

ArcadianDreams · June 2012

Developmentally, children don't understand the idea of discipline until closer to two years old. At this age all you can really do is consistently remove them from the trouble, and eventually it should sink in that X area/item is off-limits.

Kaeldrasmommy · June 2012

I don't think they are of an age for that yet. I think that removing them is perfectly fine. I pick LO up and move her somewhere else and give her one of her toys when she gets into smoething she's not supposed to have. If it's dangerous (like an electrical cord) I give her a sharp no when I move her. If she doesn't stop pinching when I tell her to be nice I set her down.

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · June 2012

She's 5 months, she's not going to understand. Move her somewhere else and keep moving her, it's about all you can at this point.

Fianschneid · June 2012

ArcadianDreams:
Developmentally, children don't understand the idea of discipline until closer to two years old. At this age all you can really do is consistently remove them from the trouble, and eventually it should sink in that X area/item is off-limits.

This. She can't make the connection, yet. I would just try to get her involved with something else when she starts making a move for the garbage.

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · June 2012

EveryNameIWantIsTaken:
She's 5 months, she's not going to understand. Move her somewhere else and keep moving her, it's about all you can at this point.

Sorry, she's 5 months from her bday, not 5 months. Still, at 7 months she's not going to understand.

celiabwatson · June 2012

I like the phrase, "I won't let you ____". If she's playing with the garbage you can hold her hands and say, "I won't let you play with the garbage." If she's pinching you can hold her hands and say, "I won't let you pinch". She won't understand it right now, but it's a good habit to get into and gives you something to do other than swatting. You are showing her the meaning of "no" by preventing the action that is not allowed, not by saying no and expecting her to comply.

avbliss · June 2012

Shes definitely not old enough yet. At this age it's all about removing the object or the baby from the item. If she's pinching you then say "Ouch" sharply and set her down in a safe area and watch her from a reasonable distance. This is the first step in teaching her that if she hurts you then you will stop playing with her. DD1 used to bite me while nursing at around 6 months I started putting her down in the middle of a meal if she continued biting. After about a week she got the point that if she bites she wont get food. (of course I didn't starve her, after 1 min I would let her nurse again). I believe at around 18mos they start to really understand consequences and by 2 they know when they do something wrong. Keep up what your doing by removing the objects and distracting them with something new and more appropriate.

yssej7 · June 2012

EveryNameIWantIsTaken:
She's 5 months, she's not going to understand. Move her somewhere else and keep moving her, it's about all you can at this point.

where did u get 5mo from?? she almost 7

Jcraul · June 2012

mnewlee:

I've swatted DD's hands a few time. Not hard enough to hurt, just to kind of snap her out of what she's doing.

It's usually when she's pulling my hair and she's got both hands in it and is really going to town and I can't get her disentangled. A quick swat and a sharp "No!" usually brings her down to earth long enough to get free.

I wouldn't do it on a regular basis but sometimes it's necessary.

Us too!

dragon_chica · June 2012

Redirect, redirect, redirect. Like others said, your child cannot fully comprehend the point of a swat. For the garbage can incident I used to constantly redirect but I also made sure to wipe down the sides and lids of it on a daily basis because no matter what it will be touched! As for pinching and such there are a couple things you can try. Cry out in pain in a loud and exaggerated way, frown, and say "ow mama." If that's not enough do that and then don't engage with LO. They are now old enough to start understanding cause and effect so ideally after doing this a million times they will make the connection that mommy won't play with me if I pinch her.

In the end you just have to keep reminding yourself that your baby is not trying to be mean/defiant/hurtful. They are just exploring and learning. You encourage that while at the same time teach them what is not appropriate exploring. You will be a broken record for many, many years to come.

yssej7 · June 2012

dragon_chica:
Redirect, redirect, redirect. Like others said, your child cannot fully comprehend the point of a swat. For the garbage can incident I used to constantly redirect but I also made sure to wipe down the sides and lids of it on a daily basis because no matter what it will be touched! As for pinching and such there are a couple things you can try. Cry out in pain in a loud and exaggerated way, frown, and say "ow mama." If that's not enough do that and then don't engage with LO. They are now old enough to start understanding cause and effect so ideally after doing this a million times they will make the connection that mommy won't play with me if I pinch her.
In the end you just have to keep reminding yourself that your baby is not trying to be mean/defiant/hurtful. They are just exploring and learning. You encourage that while at the same time teach them what is not appropriate exploring. You will be a broken record for many, many years to come.

I like this!

I will cry and make it known that pinching hurts..

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · June 2012

yssej7:
EveryNameIWantIsTaken:
She's 5 months, she's not going to understand. Move her somewhere else and keep moving her, it's about all you can at this point.
where did u get 5mo from?? she almost 7

If you read down, I corrected myself. It say's 5 months until her birthday, but I didn't read the until her birthday. Either way, 5 or 7 months, she will not get it.

blu-eyedwife · June 2012

EveryNameIWantIsTaken:
yssej7:

EveryNameIWantIsTaken:
She's 5 months, she's not going to understand. Move her somewhere else and keep moving her, it's about all you can at this point.

where did u get 5mo from?? she almost 7

If you read down, I corrected myself. It say's 5 months until her birthday, but I didn't read the until her birthday. Either way, 5 or 7 months, she will not get it.

This just made me laugh. Oooohhh she's 7 months? Well then. Obviously those 2 months make a world of difference. 5 months is too young, but by 7 months she should be managing her own stock portofolio and halfway through her dissertation.

MesmrEwe · June 2012

I wouldn't swat at this point, DS has an issue with grabbing my hair and as long as he's just touching I'm fine with it, but when he makes a fist and tugs, I hold his hand, and using a stern (babyish) tone "NO NO, THAT's NOT NICE" and gently shake his hand while doing so. and when he lets go I do in a higher/happy tone while still holding his hand "that's better"...

brewcitybride · June 2012

You are wasting your breath trying to discipline a 5 month old. You can tell her it hurts mommy, but that means nothing to her. I would never "swat" my 7 month olds hands. I just re-direct his play. It's proven that parents use the word NO way too much and it can backfire on them...believe me, a child will learn the word no in no time, and they will be saying it to YOU!

Totally agree with your DH. The first year is not about discipline, it's about modeling good behavior. YOU modeling good behavior.

cecilyandgautam · June 2012

A more age-appropriate way to communicate "no" might be to put your baby down in a safe place and walk away for a moment. Of course you come back rather immediately, but the next time she pinches you (I wouldn't worry about the trash can yet) or eventually when she bites you, say "No, no hurting mommy," put her down and walk away. It sends a very clear message - when she hurts you, the food & comfort walks away. (I'm assuming you BF, not sure how it would work if you're not)

In the meantime, I think you'll just have to keep removing danger items from her reach because she's too young to be able to tell the difference between a trash can and a bucket for her toys.

Chargersgrl33 · June 2012

Maybe my child is advanced because he learned that when I "tapped" his hand and told him no, that he doesn't touch cords. He hasn't touched once since and that was about 3 weeks ago. I know this is something he learned because he crawls over to the cords, looks at them, looks at me, crawls away.

I think it's all how you approach the situation and how you react.

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