Anyone read Postsecret?

Re: Anyone read Postsecret?

• Rosiedoll

  November 2008

  I read postsecret and just saw that card... But coming from someone who has never met their biological father, I would like to think of the sperm donor as someone who wanted to help someone who couldn't have kids.. not someone who got a woman pregnant and then left when he found out. I hope that eventually they start thinking of it this way!
  

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• sarahkelly

  November 2008

  I don't usually post on this board due to my siggy so apolgies now if it upsets anybody but as a women who has a child thanks to a sperm donor I felt I shoud post. I'm a bit saddened by that card. It makes me wonder how that person came to know they were from a donor. It sounds like the news was delivered in a negative way (like finding out when you're 13) or they are misinformed as to WHY people donate. It's possible they don't have a positive male or female role model in their life making it easy to "point a finger" at a donor.

  Please don't let that postcard deter you from using a donor. It wasn't the way we imagined having a child and it wasn't an easy decision but it was the only option for us and I can honestly tell you it was the best decision we ever made. I am grateful every single day that that person was so selfless to give a very small part of himself to enable us to be parents to our daughter. Sadie will always know that somebody very special helped us to have her. We will also let her know what it is to "pay something forward" which is how I view being a donor. As a donor you are giving the gift of life, even if you don't necessarily do it for the right reasons. Most donors, however, are not students doing it for money, as many people get the misconception, they are average people doing it because they know somebody who needed a donor and it touched their lives. (this is what our IF councelor told us, statistically speaking).

  This is how we plan to pay it forward. Every year on the day we got our BFP (Nov. 15th) we will celebrate "Pure Hearts Day", a holiday we created to pay it forward. This year I was our first Pure Hearts Day celebration. I wrote (and am still writing) a book about Pure Hearts Day to publish and donate to orginazations like Resolve. It will be a children's book about being a child of a donor and hopefully make it a bit easier for parents to share this news with their child. Each year we will celebrate Pure Hearts Day with Sadie, explaining to her how Mommy and Papa needed somebody special to help them have her and give more information every year as she asks questions and is age appropriate.

  If you ever want to discuss donors please contact me sarahaarssen at gmail dot com. I'm no expert but I'll help or share whatever I can to make your road to parenthood easier.

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