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TTC After a Loss
buckeyebaby814
member
**ticker**~?*??*?~Ladies In Waiting Check In~?*??*?~
buckeyebaby814
member
This check-in is for Monday June 18th. Please feel free to begin checking in now!
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This is a group designed for all the ladies in the various stages of waiting after a loss: waiting to miscarry, waiting for AF to arrive, waiting to TTC again, and waiting for a BFP. Since this process is such a true test in patience, it is nice to have the support and friendship of other women going through similar experiences and emotions.
Check in every Monday and Thursday.
New members: Post an introduction and your current TTC status and I will add you to the list! Welcome :-)
Current members: Post your updates, link to your chart, upcoming appointments, prayer requests, and if you get a BFP, please feel free to post here (along with your EDD).
There will be a question, a place for prayer request, and an inspirational verse. We look forward to getting to know you!
~buckeyebaby814 & csuperstar02~
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To keep track of all your favorite Ladies In Waiting visit the Official Group LIW Blog!
If you?ve not given us your ticker (in the exact code format as shown below), please do so if you want to be included on the graphical ticker page! Check it out now on the blog!
**If you have already shared your ticker code, ignore the following!
If you have a ticker AND want to share it on the LIW blog, please share the code in your reply!
***if it's in your siggy, you can go in and copy/paste from there!***
Go to >Sharing >Graphical ticker >Customize your Charting Ticker,
(Just hit next through the 4 screens if you don't want to make any changes.)
and copy and paste the HTML link here. PUT A * RIGHT AFTER THE A and you should be able to post fine.
<a* href="https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/349060">
<img border="0" src="https://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/349060/ttc.png"></a>
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(My faith has played an integral part of this journey. I truly believe in the power of prayer and keeping God at the forefront of this process, so if you have any questions or want to talk please don't hesitate).
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cielos1980- I hope your appointment goes well Monday!
s.alarie- Did you go to your counseling appointment yet? If so, how did it go?
QuigleyCat- Now I am really curious... still no CHs? Why are some of your points on your charts circles and other squares? Please update, I want to know 
Smootiepie- Is your Cancun trip this week or next? How long will you be gone for?
bethelgal42- BFP or CD 1 yet?
minicheezburg- Best of luck to you getting healthy! It?s definitely a challenge (many of us have been there!) but I know you can do it 
big_noise- How did your b/w from last week turn out?
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Question of the day: So we?ve all had experiences where people have said some pretty crappy things to us regarding our losses or their ignorance of TTC/TTCAL. Share one of them. BUT, since you?re sharing a negative ALSO share a positive- what?s the most thoughtful or sweetest thing someone has said/done to/for you in regards to your loss?
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Inspirational Quote: ?Dum spiro, spero? (Latin for: While I breathe, I hope.) ~Latin Proverb
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Inspirational Verse: Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you. Psalm 33:22
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This discussion has been closed.
Re: **ticker**~?*??*?~Ladies In Waiting Check In~?*??*?~
Hey Ladies!
My status is waiting to heal. The 3 month countdown is on!
QOTD: My mom decided to casually mention that she had had a miscarriage. She tells me this 3 weeks after mine. She mentions it in the context of something totally different. I was like WTF!? She didn't think it would help to tell me that?? I never asked about it after that. My ex-husband and his wife win the price for nicest gesture, they sent a card from both of them that said 'Sorry for the loss of your Son'. It made me tear up.
Congrats on your BFP!!!!!
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
Hi ladies! I am cheering for you BEB!
I am in the 2WW- I will probably break down and test tomorrow at 9dpo. Today I have had a terrible headache (nausea, throwing up this morning, all that fun stuff). I have tried everything to get rid of it with no luck. I really don't want to take any medication, because that is something I did last time I was pg when I had a headache, and it didn't end well. I am trying to deal with it in the 2WW, and when I get my BFP.
Question of the day: Very few people know about our loss, so I don't hear much. My mom did make tons of baby comments a month of so after the mm/c, which hurt. For example, we were in Kohl's shopping, and she felt the need to point out they they had a maternity section. Oh, great to know, since I SHOULD need that right now mom. WOW!
The best is just all of the support I get from DH. He will listen to whatever I want to say, and he has been my rock.
BFP #1 9/1/11, EDD 5/15/12, Missed M/C at 9w4d, discovered at 11w3d, D&C 11/2/11
BFP #2 6/20/12, Baby Boy born 3/2/13
BFP #3 October 2016, EDD 6/11/17
Status: Waiting to O, first time since D&C. CD 7, looking forward to some happy humping this week
QOTD: No one really said anything crude to me after my loss, but I had a few very bad experiences during apt's. at the OB's office. Who designs these ultrasound rooms to be so close to maternity wards/ bulletin boards with cute little chubby baby pics all over them? If I were in charge, I would never let a woman who suffered a loss have to wait in the same room as someone happily showing off their new ultrasound.
The same OB office was wonderful in different ways- they sent a condolence card on their behalf after out loss.
BFP #1 4/24/12 -Blighted Ovum (D&C 5/11/12 at 7 weeks)
BFP#2 8/4/12 Stick Baby D!!! DD born 4/18/13
BFP# 3 6/22/14 EDD 3/4/15- grow baby, grow!!
Hey LIW!
Update: Just waiting to O over here and hopefully will soon. We will be OOT this weekend with probably not much chance to BD so FX it wont' mess up timing too much.
QOTD: I don't think there was anything in particular that anyone said that was hurtful. Probably the best was just having my mom to talk to this about (she had a m/c between my brother and I) and DH to cry to.
BFP #2: 8/31/12 EDD: 5/18/13 Chemical pregnancy: 9/4/12
BFP #3: 5/17/13 EDD: 1/24/14 Loss at 5 weeks: 5/29/13
Lots of testing, all clear with the exception of compound heterozygous for the MTHFR mutation.
Cycle 1: Femara, trigger shot, Bravelle added due to slow response = BFN
Cycle 2: Cancelled due to two cysts =(
Cycle 3: Femara, Bravelle, trigger shot and IUI = BFP then loss #3
Cycle 4: Femara, Follistim, trigger shot and IUI = BFP! EDD: 6/7/14
PGAL/PAL welcome
Status...still waiting to O. I am starting to think this may be an annovulatory cycle, which has me pretty bummed; espeically when you consider my last cycle was only 14 days.
QOTD: One of my very best friends...someone who has experienced 2 losses, told me on CD 1 that all I needed to do was have a drink and relax. My response to her was pretty snarky as I told her she must be right and that my jacked up hormones had nothing to do with it. It took 2 years to conceive the one we lost; she went to the doctor after 4 months. The conversation still makes my blood boil; we haven't spoken since then, it's been almost 6 weeks.
About 2 weeks after my m/c DH and SD ran to the grocery for some stuff for dinner. While they were there, SD picked out some flowers and told DH he should buy them for me. He did and they were beautiful.
((hugs)) to those who need them.
*PGAL/PAL Welcome*
My Ovulation Chart
I am still waiting to O here. I have had lots of EWCM and my OPk was pretty dark today, just not quite positive. Hopefully tomorrow, with a temp spike on Tuesday!
QOTD: Most everyone that knows about my miscarriages has been very supportive. Probably the thing that upset me the most was DH saying everything happens for a reason. Good thing he got a bit more supportive the second time.
Just being able to talk and vent to my mother has been incredibly positive.
Hello LIW!
Update: After 8 days of spotting during my 2WW (starting on 3dpo), AF arrived with a vengeance yesterday.
I went to counseling on Thursday, and it was just so/so. I made the mistake of telling her I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder in 2007. (She asked if I had sought counseling before, and I told the truth. However, she neglected to listen when I said that it was very much job related, and I no longer work in that management position and thus no longer suffer from anxiety.) She proceeded to give me tips on relaxation and dealing with stress--thanks, but I went to see her for depression, not anxiety. Looks like I need to find another counselor already!!
QOTD: Worst: I guess the worst reaction is having people tell you, "don't worry, it will happen soon enough!" when it comes to TTC/AL.
Best: Right after my loss, a friend from work asked for my address. I thought she was going to send a card, but one never came. It took a while to realize, but she must have filled out a request to stop direct mailings (like those for baby items such as formula coupons and diaper offers). It worked, and it was such a sweet gesture.
First of all, congrats BEB!
Update: It appears that I am having intermittent bleeding again. As I am not blleding that much and have no signs of infection, my OB is not concerned. I just have to wait for my body to heal. UGH! I guess I\m not as close to TTC as Id hoped.
QOTD:
For the worst: One woman at work kept repeatedly telling me "Next time, youll be more careful" when I went back to work. I wanted to throat punch her.
For the best: The girls in my department at work broke the news to the people asking about me while I was on leave. It made it easier to come back as I didn't have to explain to everyone.
BFP #1 - 01/12/12, EDD 09/12/12, Medical Induction @ 21 weeks 05/03/12
BFP #2 - 10/30/12, EDD 07/04/13, Natural m/c @ 5 weeks 11/01/12
BFP #3 - 02/07/13, EDD 10/12/13
Dx: Incompotent Cervix
Update: CD 100.
I've been swamped with work and haven't been on the board lately, but hoping I can give more support starting this week (last day of school is Thursday!)
QOTD: I think the worst was something along the lines of "Oh, well, at least now you get to have more sex!" It came from not one, but *two* different friends at two different times.On the other hand, a coworker of mine who is actually not at all into babies or family yet (she's still young), but she was so careful to say "if - no, when you have kids" when talking to me. I don't think she even realized how much that meant to me.
The best, though, has come from the ladies on this board. No one IRL has given me the kind of support and understanding that I feel here. Thank goodness for you all!
BFP#1 - 11/13/11, Natural MC - 12/24/11 at 12 weeks
BFP#2 - 10/2/12, Please be our rainbow.
Current members: I started the Provera on Thursday, I knew if I didn't induce AF now when I get it a month from now it will be 10x worse and killer cramps. Especially with today being CD57. So I am just waiting for her to show and I had a great weekend with DH celebrating our Anniversary. We have a few things coming up and decided we are just going to wing it til July 1st and join the YMCA then and kick our butts into high gear. Mainly because we have tickets for a 4th of July Harley Party and it pays for all the beer you can drink. So I guess at this point I can consider myself TTA right?
minicheezburg- Best of luck to you getting healthy! It?s definitely a challenge (many of us have been there!) but I know you can do it
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Question of the day: So we?ve all had experiences where people have said some pretty crappy things to us regarding our losses or their ignorance of TTC/TTCAL. Share one of them. BUT, since you?re sharing a negative ALSO share a positive- what?s the most thoughtful or sweetest thing someone has said/done to/for you in regards to your loss?
My sister has actually been on both sides of this coin. Before her loss she was rude. She even said once that my loss didn't count and how did I even know I was pg if I lost it so close to finding out. Granted I have no bloodwork to prove it but at the time I was on my second month with no AF and didn't know I had PCOS. It was just rude.
Then on Mother's Day she texted me to wish me a Happy Mother's Day and we talked about how neglected we both feel by our family that no one ever says anything to us about our lost children. It is hard to believe that it was coming from the same person who minimized my loss.
I'm glad your surgery went well and you're recovering now
That is very sweet that your XH and his wife send you a card!
There are safe medications you can take while pregnant! I actually had a bad headache for the two days leading up to my BFP and I took Tylenol both days for it. Hope you're feeling better.
My mom used to do the same kind of things, but since we've had several more losses she's actually stopped. If it happens often, I would say something. I usually find out that people say those types of things (that are obviously hurtful and inappropriate to us) because they don't know what else to say.
My old OBs office was like that and every time I was there I could hear somebody's baby's heart beating away. My new OBs office has u/s's across the hall from exam rooms and I think they have good insulation because I've not had to experience that again. ::HUGS:: On the other hand, that is very kind about your OB office sending a card.
Fx you O before going OOT!
It's early for your cycle to be anovulatory, there's still time yet!
I would be mad at my friend too! Unsolicited advice is obnoxious. On the other hand, your SD and DH getting you flowers while just out to get things for dinner was very sweet
I hate the 'everything happens for a reason' cliche. Fx you O soon with great timing!
Sorry your appointment didn't go as well as you had anticipated. I promise I'm not trying to be 'devil's advocate' here, but maybe she was wondering if your GAD has been manifested within depression? I know my anxiety gets sky high when I am feeling depressed. Or did she make it all about GAD and not about how your loss made you feel? Either way, if you didn't click with this counselor, absolutely see someone else.
Sorry you're experiencing more bleeding- definitely frustrating. As for the co-worker who told you to be more careful, that is just horrible. As for the girls in your department, kudos to them. That definitely must have been more of a blessing then they realized for you.
Don't worry about being busy, we all get busy
And CD 100... holy cow! Now you do have an appointment with your OB next week, right?
While I am sad for your sister that her loss brought understanding to your situation, I am glad that you have a good support in her.
Hi ladies. Thanks for asking about my labs, BEB. I had them on Friday and am going again this morning. My Dr. wanted two draws. No results yet from Friday, and I'm wondering if she's waiting for both. Def. feeling like AF cramps this morning at 10 dpo today. We decided not to really try this month b/c of super late ovulation and wanting to get answers/give acupuncture a try to work but we weren't totally out b/c we DTD 4 days before. But yeah, hoping AF stays the hell away today so I can at least have a 10 day LP. Last month it was 8-9, the month before that 12.
Hope everyone has a good week!
QOTW: There have been a number of hurtful things but I think overall just because our loss(es) were early, some people feel that should hurt less. My cousin lost a full term baby and I in no way feel like I have any idea how she feels, but that doesn't mean I'm not hurting.
Best thing? My boss, who has a very strong faith...I was expressing to her one day how I just couldn't understand the reason why I was going through this right now, when I was near rock bottom to begin with, before the first m/c...she just simply stated, "there may not be a reason." It made me feel 100x better b/c it kind of released me from stressing over the why.
ETA: Hit go too fast. Been thinking of you BEB and wondering how you're doing?
BFP #2, 12/12/11, m/c 12/25/11
BFP #3, 3/09/12, CP 3/10/12
BFP #4, 7/22/12, DD#2 born 4/2013
I completely understand wanting your LP to lengthen, been there! Fx AF stays away a few more days to at least give you that!
I sometimes feel as though people feel the same about us too, since ALL our losses were before 6 weeks. Everyone's pain is different and relative to themselves.
BFP #2, 12/12/11, m/c 12/25/11
BFP #3, 3/09/12, CP 3/10/12
BFP #4, 7/22/12, DD#2 born 4/2013
Waiting for a BFP, or the more likely AF. Tested yesterday because Father's Day is usually a good day for me (we got married Father's Day 2009), but got a BFN. May test again Thursday as it's our 3 year wedding anniversary, but I'm honestly expecting AF to start that day. But fear not, Cancun will be awaiting me Saturday!
QOTD: I've had a lot of people say terrible things to me, but the worst was honestly the reaction I got from the first person I told (my ex-BFF). I was already crying before we started talking and it took a lot of nerve for me to breakdown and tell her I was currently going through my CP. She gave me a hug and without even taking a breath said "yeah, pretty sure I'm going through one right now, too." Her reasoning was that AF had come "late" and "was the worst she'd ever had." Then, every couple of months she'd tell me she "thought" she'd had another one. I'm not sure at all why she felt the need to say it, but it came across to me that she was belittling my loss.
Best thing said to me was just a month ago by my actual BFF (sad that going through crap like this makes you realize exactly who you can rely on). She said "you're meant to be a mother, no matter if that child is yours or not and no matter how long it takes. And you will be a great mother."
Happy birthday hon! I am doing well, waiting on some betas since I'd been spotting over the weekend. Sorry about CD 1
The first few failed cycles TTCAL really hit me hard. Try and do something nice for yourself and take care of you!
Sorry about the BFN
.... and your ex-BFF... yikes! But thank goodness for your actual BFF.
Hello Ladies! I've been lurking, just not posting much. I'm trying to get back into the habit of actually posting again.
Update:
The RE decided to bump me up to 150mg of Clomid this cycle. We're also adding ovidrel, and will be doing our first IUI. So I'm just waiting for O, or my next monitoring appointment on Sunday.
QOTD:
I was fortunate that although I've been pretty open about my loss, no one has said anything horrible to me. The only things I've heard that have irritated me were referencing 'God's plans' and all that jazz.
The nicest thing, though, was my dad sending me flowers and a stuffed animal a few days after I told him about the loss.
Congrats, buckeye!!
Um...nothing new on this end. I ovulated yesterday so I'm waiting for FF to give me my crosshairs. I feel good about this cycle but no pressure from me and DH. We'll get pregnant again when it's ready. I'll officially test (if I can wait that long) on June 30.
Hi ladies.
Family update: Thank you for all of your prayers for my H's Godmother and understanding over the last couple of weeks and a special thanks to BEB for handling the check-in in my absence.
Mother passed this morning. My husband has gone back to our hometown and I'll head down later in the week once arrangements have been made. Please think of the family during this still tough time of bereavement.
TTC Update: I talked to my RE this morning; he said IUI isn't out of the question but really pushes IVF to reduce the chance of multiples which would be bad with a unicornuate uterus. Next step is just talking this over with my husband. My biggest issue is that IVF isn't even the biggest hurdle! Let's say we're successful (which is difficult in itself), the UU makes it a tough pregnancy w/ early bedrest, preterm labor and late losses being very common. *sigh*
P.S. I think I'm spotting. >_< It's only CD 25, so I'm not sure what that's about.
QOTD: I just had the usual - happens for a reason, there was probably something wrong, etc. Thoughtful would have to be my H. He got me a sweet mother's day card everything happened around then last year) and wrote a nice note in it.
Well-behaved women rarely make history.
BFP #1 ~ 4.29.11 | Blighted Ovum 6.2.11 | D&C 6.9.11
DX Unicornuate Uterus 4.12
BFP #2 ~ 10.12.12 | m/c 11.25.12 | D&C 2.8.13
BFP #3 ~ 12.11.13 | heartbeat ~12.20
| no heartbeat ~12.27 | D&C 1.6.14
BFP #4 ~ 7.20.14 | EDD 3.29.15 | heartbeat x2 eeek! ~ 8.4 | heard heartbeat-120 ~ 8.8 |
11.6.14 Courtland Jeremiah & Landon Joseph born sleeping
csuperstar, so sorry for your family's loss. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
BFP#1 - 11/13/11, Natural MC - 12/24/11 at 12 weeks
BFP#2 - 10/2/12, Please be our rainbow.