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Natural Birth
dmhrn13
member
Ideas of what to say to idiots
dmhrn13
member
You guys have heard from me before, I am a midwife & I work in a hospital. I'm having my first baby. I am a huge supporter of natural birth & I teach Hypnobirthing. I get a lot of crap from the nurses because I make them actually work & support my patients, listen with the doppler, get patients out of bed, etc.
Anyway, both RN's & Docs I work with have been randomly deciding to say stuff to me like- "you're going to be screaming for your epidural when your 1 cm" or "people like you get c-sections". wtf?? it leaves me dumbfounded & trying to defend myself.
What have you guys said that shut people up when they say the dumbest things?
TTC since 1/2008
BFP 7/2009 m/c
BFP 9/2009 m/c
Clomid IUI 12/2010, 1/2011, 2/2011 All BFN
IVF #1 6/2011 BFN, no frosties
IVF #2 2/2012 BFP
DD born 10/2012
BFP 7/2009 m/c
BFP 9/2009 m/c
Clomid IUI 12/2010, 1/2011, 2/2011 All BFN
IVF #1 6/2011 BFN, no frosties
IVF #2 2/2012 BFP
DD born 10/2012
FET 9/3/2013 BFN, no more frosties
IVF # 3 11/3/13 Canceled after retrieval d/t severe OHSS, 3 frosties
IVF # 3 11/3/13 Canceled after retrieval d/t severe OHSS, 3 frosties
FET #3 2/2014 BFP Twins!
B/G Twins born 9/2014 at 36w4d
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Ideas of what to say to idiots
I don't really think you can argue with stupid. You can't reason people out of something they weren't reasoned into.
If you're feeling cheeky, bet them $100 you can do it without the drugs.
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I agree with PP's without prior experience you never know what's going to happen, I just ignore the comments and let them think what they want. I've also been trying to let it fuel me to do it naturally and am hoping to show everyone that they are wrong
But until I give birth I'm keeping my mouth shut.
You make the nurses "actually work?"?? I can just feel the respect....
If that's the kind of hospital you work at perhaps you should find a different one.
Yeah that's what I was thinking... Perhaps your coworkers feel no need to support or respect you because you don't seem to have any respect for them?
I agree.
ahahaha. you guys are verrryyyy supportive! i only dedicated my life to guarding natural birth
BFP 7/2009 m/c
BFP 9/2009 m/c
Clomid IUI 12/2010, 1/2011, 2/2011 All BFN
IVF #1 6/2011 BFN, no frosties
IVF #2 2/2012 BFP
DD born 10/2012
IVF # 3 11/3/13 Canceled after retrieval d/t severe OHSS, 3 frosties
As an L&D RN that loves nothing better than a natural birth, thank you. Some of us do "work" -- a lot of us do. Birth should be a vast amount of teamwork -- no one should be "making" someone else work or support the patient. Bet that's some support the patient is getting if you're "making" the nurse "work".
Anyway, good luck with your natural birth. It's certainly different being on the other end of the labor bed/squat bar/whatever, but I hope you get the birth you want!
This is what I did. i really didn't bother telling anyone my wishes and if anyone pressed me I would still be very vague. People were telling me negative things and assuming I would get an EPI even before I knew what I wanted so I knew telling them my plans made it likely they would continue.
Lots of people were surprised that I went natural and asked questions b/c I really didn't let anyone know my wishes. Obviously it is a little more difficult because of your job but I would still not bother. I would end every sentence with "we'll see" and a smile.
Best of luck, OP. Going through the process yourself will no doubt be of benefit to your future patients.
Condescending doesn't work on any level. Ever.
So no one thinks nurses would prefer a patient stay in bed on the monitor?
Hmmm.
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I am very glad fellow RNs spoke up...
Good luck with your birth, mine didn't get to go how I wanted it to but for the health of me and my son it got taken from me. I hope it doesn't happen to you and maybe you can develop some sort of empathy for your clients.
Nope, not me. I get patients off the monitor any time I can. I was on the monitor for all of 10mins during my second delivery, and they were 10 of the worst minutes of the whole thing.
I'm sure there are some nurses who would rather them be on the monitor, but even the "lazy" ones I've worked with like them off as there's less charting when they're off. Either way, "making" someone "support" the patient probably isn't going to be too effective.
It is no secret that people are far more willing to go above and beyond for those who are respectful to them. I figured you would know that, working in the field your in. And calling them idiots won't help.
Hats off to the RN's on the board.
Exactly this. When people asked me I just said something like we'll see, or I'm not sure yet. I really wanted to have a NB, but didn't make it. It was really disappointing, and I'm glad I didn't have to eat my words on top of it.
I support my patients- I don't "make"anyone else so it. I have also been a nurse for 10 years- there are good ones & not, just like there are good docs & not & good midwives & not.
What I am talking about reflects a culture in the entire US about birth & what it means to support a laboring woman. I hear other women on this board, their fear, frustrations & I try to understand & not judge. There is something wrong with the way we treat laboring women in this country (in general & in hospitals) & if I'm a horrible person for saying that- then I'm ok with it because its true.
BFP 7/2009 m/c
BFP 9/2009 m/c
Clomid IUI 12/2010, 1/2011, 2/2011 All BFN
IVF #1 6/2011 BFN, no frosties
IVF #2 2/2012 BFP
DD born 10/2012
IVF # 3 11/3/13 Canceled after retrieval d/t severe OHSS, 3 frosties
I dealt with all that crap when I was pregnant with my first baby back in 2007. At the time, I was actually working as a L&D nurse in a fairly busy hospital. I wasn't really interested in natural childbirth until I got pregnant and saw everything that went wrong with so many of my patients related to the interventions. When I decided to deliver with midwives at a free standing birth center, they told me everything that could go wrong, would go wrong because I was a L&D nurse and I knew so much. I obviously didn't know at the time how my labor was going to go, but I knew I would do it without an epidural because I was going to be somewhere where I wouldn't have a choice. Initially I told them I appreciated their concern, but that I could do it, women have been doing it for centuries. Eventually I had to end up politely (or not so politely) telling them I would appreciate it if they would keep their negativity to themselves that I didn't need that being projected on me. The work environment there got so hostile (they really hated natural childbirth) that I eventually had to quit because they were stressing me out so badly.
I went on to deliver a 9lb 12oz baby vaginally after only 9 hours of labor and 45 minutes of pushing. We had no complications, my son was and is completely healthy, and I only had a 1st degree tear. I sent word back to the unsupportive people I used to work with by way of my one friend I had there, and they were all so shocked they didn't even have any words, lol. That was all the satisfaction I needed!
I heard some of that. When I went into labor with #2 the nurse checking me in rolled her eyes at me when I told her I was doing it naturally. She was like, "sure you are". I wanted to say something smartalecky back to her but just bit my tongue. When I gave birth naturally she looked at me sort of embarassed and just said I was her hero. She knew she was wrong and that was satisfaction enough.
My advice to you is to bite your tongue and use the negativity as fuel to go natural. Then when you have the birth you want make sure you let them know they were wrong
DS, May 2011
I think you have to take this with a little humor and just laugh it off or have some smart comeback, like, "If I'm screaming for that epidural, make me get up and walk like I make all my clients - that will teach me."
It's probably just mostly humor on their part - they don't want to see you fail, they just want to give you crap.
...baby #3 is here...
Absolutely not. At our hospital they practically won't LET you stay in bed (unless you've opted for an epidural). All of the nurses and doctors are on board with having the patient up and moving as much as possible.
Most hospitals have an epidural rate of well over half....
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I was continuously monitored from my bed. Never once was it offered for me to get up, walk, or even switch positions. I didn't know that I could do those things, so I never asked. My hospital has an epi rate of 90% and does not allow MWs to deliver there. I saw my Dr for all of 30 seconds when he called me a "granola girl" and checked my charts. Sorry, I wish more hospitals were like yours! But sadly, my situation is more common. I feel lucky I was able to have a med free birth, despite all that was against me. Sorry to turn this about me! Just wanted to give you an idea about what patients go through in other hospitals...