XP: inviting ppl who can't come?

trinny · November 2008

Is this a bad idea? I'm only inviting 15 ppl to my baby shower, so all very close friends. But a few ppl like my grandma, MIL, etc. are long distance and I know can't come. MIL already sent a shower gift, so I should invite her, right?

kaysuhdeeya · November 2008

I live in South Florida and almost all my moms family is in New Jersey. I was going to send them an invite regardless of the fact that they arent coming just to show show i'm thinking about them.

RoxyLynn · November 2008

Definitely invite them. I live 12 hours away from most of my family and the people I grew up with. Receiving an invitation makes me feel like I haven't been forgotten!

EastCoastBride · November 2008

people like MIL, moms, grandmoms, yes- I would invite them. Beyond that? Exercise caution. More distant relatives and friends... MOST normal adult women are not offended to not be invited to a shower that they realistically won't be able to attend.

rianals · November 2008

I just got an invite to a wedding shower and was sort of offended. I live 3000 miles away and don't even know the bride. I haven't met her even once. The groom is my cousin. I felt like they were begging for another present.

At the same time, baby showers are a bit different. I think really close friends or family should be invited regardless of whether they can come or not.

RoxyLynn · November 2008

Rianals:

I just got an invite to a wedding shower and was sort of offended. I live 3000 miles away and don't even know the bride.

Can't blame you there - I'd feel the same way. With living so far away from where I grew up, the invitations I'm happy to get are from lifelong friends and a few cousins. An invitation for a stranger's shower would throw me for a loop no matter how near or far the event!

trinny · November 2008

Thanks for all your opinions. That's awful you'd get an invite from someone you don't even know?! I think I was pretty conservative and only put very close OOT family (MIL, SIL, my grandma, and one of my sisters) on the invite list.

MelZull · November 2008

I invited friends and family I didnt think or knew they wouldn't be able to make it. Some because they live a distance away others because they might have something else already going on. I was surprised how many people drove and made the trip to be there for my shower. Also, I enjoy receiving invites to different events from friends and family out of state, even if they know we wont be able to make the drive.

hawindrem · November 2008

RoxyLynn:
Rianals:

I just got an invite to a wedding shower and was sort of offended. I live 3000 miles away and don't even know the bride.
Can't blame you there - I'd feel the same way. With living so far away from where I grew up, the invitations I'm happy to get are from lifelong friends and a few cousins. An invitation for a stranger's shower would throw me for a loop no matter how near or far the event!

Maybe they didn't know how to cut the guest list down so they just decided to invite everyone. I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and think they're trying to avoid hurt feelings. They probably don't expect you to come.

Disneygeek77 · November 2008

Personally I think it is wierd when I get invitations to my husband's families showers. I live halfway across the country so they know I can't come out. I am just going to assume that they didn't want me to feel left out but sometimes I wonder if they are just fishing for a gift.

AshleyEric609 · November 2008

I sent them even if I knew they couldn't come...

DM1908 · November 2008

Yes, I would definitely send one out of courtesy. If you talk to them explain that they are not obligated to attend, but you definitely wanted to include them.

Dodgeball Mama · November 2008

I have lived in several states and have developed some strong friendships in each one. I talk to these friends on a weekly basis so we are planning to do a Shower by mail for most of my close friends and family. We will also have a shower where I live now and invite my friends that live here. My sister is flying in for it since she is my best friend.

It really has to be up to you and your relationship with the people you invite. I would wonder why I didn't receive a shower invite from my great friends that live in other states if they didn't send me one.

justgnat · November 2008

I would say yes. I'd say invite anyone you feel would want to recieve an invitation, even if you know they aren't going to come.

rab2006 · November 2008

One of my aunts live in FL, and for my wedding, we sent her a shower invite but then either included a note or called her (can't remember) to let her know that we just wanted to send it so she could see the invite and know that we're thinking of her (to kindof let her knwo that we weren't fishing for a gift, but that we were truly just wanting to include her since she's so far away from the entire family)

So I think it would be fine to send an invite and maybe include a note or something letting them know that you were thinking of them and that they may enjoy seeing the invite that went out.

chrstnmnz · November 2008

I would, we always do. We did with our wedding and our kids birthday parties.

houndbaby · November 2008

Invite family, and friends who live far away only if they are close friends

Mitzie · November 2008

EastCoastBride:
people like MIL, moms, grandmoms, yes- I would invite them. Beyond that? Exercise caution. More distant relatives and friends... MOST normal adult women are not offended to not be invited to a shower that they realistically won't be able to attend.

I disagree. DH's family is Italian and if you don't invite everyone they will hold it against you.

crawtater · November 2008

I wasn't invited to my SIL's shower, and even though she knew I wouldn't be able to come it REALLY hurt my feelings to not even get a courtesy invitation. A LOT.

XP: inviting ppl who can't come?

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