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I'm back....and broken

MandaS08MandaS08 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Its been awhile since I've posted on this board-and I truly hoped never to have to return.

The details of our journey are in my siggy-but in a nutshell its been 2 years, now 3 losses, IUI's and a failed IVF cycle-and we are back where we started.  I don't know how to pick up the pieces anymore or where to go from here.  Our situation truly seems hopeless.

This baby was a miracle baby-concieved before our second IVF cycle, our first baby to see the heartbeat, twice.  I had started to let myself think that we might have a take home baby.  And now its all been snatched away.  Again.

We have our D&C scheduled for Monday.  Right now I'm just trying to get through each day, a minute a time.

TTC since 5/2010
DX with Diminished Ovarian Reserve - AMH of 1.1 - 7/2011; AMH of .42 8/2012BFP 9/1/10-M/C confirmed 9/8/10-Methotrexate 10/6/10
IUI #1 (w/clomid)-9/5/11-BFN ; IUI #2 (w/clomid)-10/5/11 - BFP - 11/1/12-No sac seen; 11/2/11 and 11/9/11-Methotrexate 
IVF #1- ER 2/2; ET 2/5;-Two 8 cell embryos transfered = BFFN
Surprise BFP - 5/7/12
U/S on 6/8/12 - H/B at 128 BPM; U/S on 6/14/12 @ 9wks-No H/B-D&C on 6/17/12
IVF 2.0- ER 10/17; ET 10/20-One 12 cell, one 10 cell and one 8 cell embryo transfered
BFP!   11/16/12 U/S- Two nuggets with perfect heartbeats! EDD 7/10/13

 

5/31/2013- My miracles arrived at 34w2d!  Welcome to the world Harper and Nolan!Lilypie First Birthday tickers

My Blog- http://waitingonaangel.wordpress.com/

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Re: I'm back....and broken

  • katharine25katharine25 member
    I'm so incredibly sorry. 
    Married My Love on 6/18/2006
    BFP#1 10/1/2011. Our perfect little girl, Her heart stopped @ 12w1d. D&E 11/23/11
    BFP#2 3/13/12 Weird CP/Possible EP @ 6w0d
    BFP#3 5/28/12 CP @ 5w0d
    BFP/WTF#4 10/26/12 CP
    BFP#5 12/10/12 EDD 8/23/2013
    <3 Baby Boy Born 8/22/13 <3
     photo ellie.gifPhotobucket
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  • DaisyZHDaisyZH member
    I am so, so sorry, that is so heartbreaking.  (( Hugs )) My thoughts and prayers are with you, life is so completely unfair sometimes.  


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker}



     image

     

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  • Jerry77Jerry77 member
    I am so, so sorry for your loss. As the PP said, life is COMPLETELY unfair sometimes. T&P's to you as you process everything and try to pick up the pieces...
    mc 5/3/2012, gone, but always in our hearts! <3

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1b3fa4.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1b3fa5.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
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  • Laurakat81Laurakat81 member
    Oh Manda! I'm so sorry. I've been stalking you and praying this was your take home baby! ((((BIG HUGS)))))

    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


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  • LovenizLoveniz member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
    TTC #1 Since Oct 2011
    BFP #1 4/29/12 m/c 5/18/12 at 6w2d
    BFP #2 8/28/12 EDD 5/10/13 MC 9/22/12 at 6w4d
    BFP #3 12/31/12 EDD 9/12/13

    Me Dx: DOR   DH: all tests normal
    Our Pretty Little Nest Blog
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  • TAGoldenTAGolden
    I'm so very sorry...I pray for healing for you and your family.
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  • ashleyl31ashleyl31 member
    I'm so sorry for your losses. Big ((hugs)). Take care of yourself this week. 
    Married my best friend May 24, 2008
    BFP #1 9/1/11, EDD 5/15/12, Missed M/C at 9w4d, discovered at 11w3d, D&C 11/2/11
    BFP #2 6/20/12, Baby Boy born 3/2/13
    BFP #3 October 2016, EDD 6/11/17
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