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Newbie How to choose an agency? cost? ?

MauidAimsMauidAims
in Adoption

Hello all!  I am a newbie to the adoption process. Ive been reading on-line but I have no family or close friends that have adopted so I kinda dont know where to begin or who to ask (besides you ladies) :)

Background-I have been Dx with a high FSH count (so low ovarian reserve). We have a DS who is 4 years old and I m/c a year after he was born.  I am 37 and DH is 40.  DH deployed last year for a year so we lost a year of TTC but have been trying since 2009. It feels our lives have been in this holding pattern and we so deseperately want to expand our family.  DH and I have always talked about adopting as I have always pictured doing that even when I was younger.  We could potenitally do IVF at $10k for one shot but to be honest the thought of adopting seems more exciting to me in my gutt (if that makes sense). I think DH agrees too :)

So Ive called two agencies- one private (mostly does newborns) and one a facilitator (?). To be honest I am not even sure I know what facilitator means. How do you choose one to go with? Is it a feeling you get? based on cost? a local agency? both are around $20k which seems like alot, but like I said I have nothing to gauge it against.

I think we would like private adoption because I am afraid of foster-adopt as it seems the child might leave and my heart would be broken :( Plus not sure how I explain that to a 4 year old.  if you have any insight or advice on anything, I would love to hear it.  Oh and we would be open to adopting a newborn-2 years old so Im not sure if that matters in what kind of agency to pick?

DS- 4 years old, Natural m/c @ 7 weeks-12/1/09. Infertility issues- low ovarian reserve- low AMH and high FSH. Looking into adoption. Trying to figure out where to go with your little one? My favorite website is: Trekaroo AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
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Re: Newbie How to choose an agency? cost? ?

  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    Hi and welcome.

    Check out the FAQs. They have some good resources to help you narrow things down and see what may work for your family in particular. I would see if the resources talk about facilitators so you have a good handle on them before making a firm decision.

    There are a lot of factors going into how to choose an agency/adoption path. Some of it is based on cost, some on their placement rates, some on their philosophies and whether or not you agree with them, some on whether they "click" with you, some on reviews, references, etc.

    A few other notes:

    1. You can do foster/adopt with children who are legally free for adoption. I don't know if any are under 2, but it might be something to look into.

    2. There are agencies that are regional or national, so don't rule them out just because it's not down the street. Some also charge on a sliding scale, so do your research and see if there may be one that works for you.

    3. Don't forget to consider an adoption law firm.

    You may also want to ask here:

    https://pandce.****/index.cgi?board=adoption

     

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  • znianiswanznianiswan
    Good Luck
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