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LGBT Parenting
So...yeah... (long)
I don't even know how to title this and I'm not always the best at keeping things concise, so here goes...
As many of you know, K and I met through a mutual friend and things were going really well. I made it clear from the beginning that my goal is to share my life with someone because, well, that is important to me as an eventuality and sometimes people are not up for that (particularly with me having a child). She understood and accepted this and as time went on, she talked about moving in with E and I. Which for me is a big deal since I've not allowed that to happen in previous relationships since they weren't the right fit. K owns a condo and in early May she notified them she was going to rent it out and she got a property mgmt. company to list it. About 3 weeks ago on my weekend with E, she started bringing some of her things over to the house. 2 weeks ago on our flight to Vegas, she tells me that she's thinking of putting off moving in. Ok, fine, let's back off, I'm cool with that, I'm not in a hurry (and I was NEVER the one pushing things forward, she was). We discussed more but it was really unsettling to me since I got the feeling she was not sure she wanted any of this, ever.
Last week she was quieter than normal all week but she came to stay with me Wednesday night and acted like things were normal and when I asked if she was ok, she said yes. By Friday she texted me to ask if I'd asked if she was ok because she had been quiet and I said of course but that we need to talk about it in person. She texts and says she's worried about hurting E and I and that she needs space to think. So...I give her space. We had one short text exchange late Saturday and nothing on Sunday. The day she was supposed to come to the neighborhood BBQ and I had to lie to all the neighbors about where she was since they were expecting her. After I got E to bed on Sunday I called her. I was tired of being in the dark. In a nutshell, she doesn't think she will ever want any of this. She likes her single life. It's nothing I've said or done. Total 180.
Monday I email her and say that I wish we'd had a face to face, I DESERVE that. Having to hunt her down on the phone was BS. We're two mature women who should be able to communicate about things and how we're feeling. She sends an email back that essentially says she knows she could have handled it better but let her worry about getting emotional get the best of her. And that I need "to be true to yourself to have the family life you desire vs the status quo relationship". Um ok, whatever the status quo relationship is.
I'm really surprised at how this went down. I expected more from someone 45 years old and with some life experiences. And now she won't respond to my email about coming to pick up her stuff this weekend so I can move on.
My BFF had commented early on wondering why such a great woman was still single at 45 (which was explained to me by her past 2 relationships in which there were control and substance issues) but now I think I get it. She wants to be alone. But maybe she thought with me she could have it all (at least that's what she always told me) and then she got scared and ran.
I'm doing fine, really. I'm glad it happened now and that E didn't suffer as a result of bigger changes that would have been harder to undo. But I'm surprised and disappointed in how it went down. So, I've been hiding under a rock here this week, trying to decide when to come out and tell you all especially because I am so not a drama person. Vent over...bleah.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: So...yeah... (long)
I've been wondering if something was up - noticing your lack of posts about K. Even though you seem to be handling it really well, i'm sure there is some hurt and for that i'm so sorry
((hugs))
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
Ditto. I am sorry that everything went down the way it did.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
Crap. I am so sorry to hear that. Hope you are doing ok and taking good care of yourself.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/