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Blended Families
fellesferie
member
FFFC
fellesferie
member
1. I love my kids, but I would happily go about a week without seeing them right now. I know that's totally tasteless given what a lot of people on this board face. But man, I need a kid-free vacation. And if things go according to plan, I won't have one until next spring.
2. DS's swim team is kicking my butt. Practices every day plus two swim meets every week (that go from like 5:15 until 9:30). Plus taekwondo. Plus just entertaining them all day. How do people do this crap year round???
3. Because of #2, DH and I have been choosing sleep over sex for like 3 weeks.
my read shelf:
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Re: FFFC
My ILs are evil. I have no problem saying that I hate them. They never have anything nice to say to me, about me, about anyone else. My MIL constantly makes negative comments about my SDs hair, braces, and her mother. And DH is pretty spineless when it comes to his parents.
Most recently my SIL let her student loans (which my H is cosigner on--his parents didn't have good enough credit at the time to cosign) run to collections. I opened the notices that came addressed to my H (I open all our mail because I pay the bills) and flipped out. They (SIL, MIL, and FIL) have told me that this is none of my business when I demanded they refi the loans with someone else as cosigner. But DH asked them to do it so "they're working on it" (3 months later...grrr)
I'm keeping my DD away from them. I know it's bad to use kids as pawns, but I tell myself that's not what I'm doing. I really feel like they're bad people and I don't want my child around them. Flame me if you want... I may not be right. But they make me want to vomit. And the first time MIL makes a degrading comment about MY baby, it's gonna get really ugly...
It looks like my two BIL's and their families will be visiting for July 4th. I'm glad that DH will get to spend time with his brothers and that the kids will get to see their cousins but I really wish I could be excluded from the festivities. Youngest BIL will get drunker n a skunker and his wife will get pissed and threaten to leave. Middle BIL will constantly compare our suburban existance to his rural one (unfavorably, last time he told us he doesn't understand how we can live that "fast city life").
And DD has never really experienced fireworks (last year we had a ban, 2 years ago she was tiny) and I'm pretty sure if she gets freaked out by the lawnmower and thunder she's going to flip her lid.
We went to court to have the CO modified on Wednesday. BM did not show up AGAIN!!! The judge was incredibly unprepared. He didn't even know who was the child they were going to court over... he cited BM as a child in the CO!! Much to our chagrin he would not look over all the evidence we had accumulated. I hate the courts in this tiny Texas town.
DH and BM got into a quarrel over what was ordered over texts. How childish!!!! BM likes to "poke the bear". Well, my dumb*** DH fell right into her trap and got so caught up in it he wouldn't even listen. I kept telling him to just drop it, and if he didn't want to communicate to her through text messaging like he told her he needed to stop texting her. I just wanted to punch him in the face for not listening to me. He had to do things his way, and guess who paid the price on the phone with the lawyer's office the next morning? That's right... I did.
Also, if DH doesn't start cleaning up after himself I am going to lose it. Why can you put your clothes next to the hamper and not in it?! I do not love that the whole time we knew each other and dated you were super tidy, but the second we got married you became super slob. Your truck may soon be filled with all the crap you leave out just to prove my point that you are one of the main contributors to the clutter problem.
SS stop falling! Falling 5 or more times a day is not funny. I can't tell if you are doing this on purpose, or if I need to take you to the doctor to get it checked out. If it continues, you will be going to the doctor and I will be having them run tests.
BM, you will have to pay CS now and you will have to use the court ordered website for communication. I'm not sorry this dips into your PARTY/TATTOO fund. Also, if you are only going to make an effort to come see SS to piss off DH or to save face with the court and then go dump him with someone he doesn't know... that hurts SS! Also, buy SS some clothes that fit. He is in 5Ts not 3Ts he also wears a size 10.5 and not a 9. When he told you last time that the shoes you force him to wear hurt... you need to listen. I don't care if they are new... I told you the time before that the ones you left were too small. Why would you buy the same size? I'm not sure why you won't let him wear what we provide. They don't leave bruises on SS's feet. Please just go back into hiding... SS doesn't need your negative influence in his life.
Where do I start....
I really didn't want to spend more than $5 on a Father's Day gift for my ex, but I sucked it up and my Dd wanted to get him a gift card to ***'s Sporting Goods. Then she made a card, and wrote out the letters of his name vertical, and was thinking of a word for each letter. First letter was "B", I wanted to say how about bastard.. I hate that man.
I was reminded recently why I refuse to merge finances with my Husband. I just can't do it.
I am ready to throw in the towel on purchasing a home. Inventory sucks, the homes are all short sales. We put in an offer 3 weeks ago and still haven't heard back. I kind of hope they don't accept and I would be perfectly content with renting a house. My H on the other hand is not ok with renting, yet he has no money for a downpayment, it is all coming out of my savings and it is killing me..... I really don't think I could do it.
I'm honestly hoping I don't go into preterm labor tomorrow at SD's birthday party. BM stresses me out to the MAX! She told us atleast 10 times that she doesn't have the money for a big birthday party for SD and her friends. we told her we would split the cost if we could agree on the place/date/time.
BM decided saturday of fathers day weekend was perfect (Um seriously lady?) and that an ice cream party was cheap enough. 1st of all, SD is friggen lactose intolerant. 2nd of all, we give you over $600 a month in CS, and NEVER, EVER question where a dime of it goes, you can't come up with $100 to throw her a decent birthday party? but you showed up to SD's kindergarten graduation with a fresh pedicure, acrylics and newly highlighted hair
her other excuse: her 2nd born (who is 22 months old) is still not walking, so bowling/ rollerblading/bouncy house place etc is all out of the question bc the baby will get her hands stepped on. WTF? why is your kid going to be crawling around on the floor! its called a stroller/highchair/ someones arms etc.
so now SD is going to have a crappy birthday party because her mom is the cheapest biatch I know, most of her friends wont come bc its fathers day weekend, and she is going to end up getting sick because her stomach cannot handle ice cream.
BM actually had the balls to tell DH if he didn't pay for half the party that we weren't allowed to come. I seriously want to throat punch this miserable wench.
MY FFFC is that sometimes, just every once in a long while, I get the slightest urge to NOT be the bigger person and instead participate in the tit for tat philosophy that others subscribe to so fully. BUT it is always a fleeting moment and I know I never would, but I like to fantasize sometimes.
So our 2 boys (ss1 & ss2), close in age, have been sooo much better to each other lately. Huge relief, since their fighting just really got way out of hand. I'm so proud of them for improving their attitudes and behaviors with each other.
But of course since they're so busy with that, they have "forgotten" how to clean up after themselves. I refuse to, but still I have come home to a messy house everyday this week!! (pick your battles, I know!) I don't like to start on them as soon as I walk in the door, but I'm done! Come on, they're worse than the 2 year old! And I'm not talking spotless, immaculate cleaning or anything but if you get food out, throw away the trash. If you take off your dirty clothes, put them in the basket. Simple things like this make all the difference between a house with 2 adults & 4 kids and a house that looks like 4 kids live in it alone. (ok that's a vent really, but FFFC is...)
The older boy had the worst attitude ever for a bit. This was why there was so much fighting between the two. Even dh told him he was being a rude, disrespectful kid. And he was! It has improved greatly but since it got so nasty for a bit, I was having a hard time enjoying any time with him. Really, everyone was. Flameworthy, I know. But like I said, it's gotten a lot better. Now he and I can enjoy some time together without me feeling this like, forced smile. I do feel badly even saying that, but he was pretty bitter with the world... Issues with his BM really tend to change his whole attitude with everyone he comes in contact with. We're working on it. I love him to pieces but it was really trying for all of us for a matter of months. I wish BM would disappear for good instead of hopping in and out of their lives whenever she feels. Unfortunately she's been more out than in and that impacts both of them, but moreso the older one. DH says it's because she wasn't around long enough to fully bond with the younger one.
(I do feel better just getting it out and you guys provide me more comfort than you even know since I lurk more often than post. Thanks.)
don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I expect her to spend $500 on a party, but splitting the cost of a roller skating or bowling party should not be that difficult, especially considering the amount of CS that we give her. and again, I'm not sitting there nickel and dime-ing what she does with CS, I know kids are expensive, but I really don't want to hear that she can't come up with $50-$100 once a year for SD's birthday.
I DO completely understand that. as I have stated in my past two responses, I'm not questioning what she does with the CS on a regular basis, the fact that BM cannot come up with $50-$100 a year towards SD's birthday party, but can go get her nails and hair done all the time, and quit her full time job last year to be a SAHM gets the side-eye from me. then she has the guts to sit there and complain to us (multiple times) that she has no money. while my DH had to sit there and work two overtime shifts to be able to afford to pay for half this party and still get SD a birthday gift and continue to pay her child support.
I'm a newb and am breaking the cardinal rule of TB and just jumping in without lurking.
My FFFC: The FOC took my ex-h's tax refund this year for CS arrearages. His wife doesn't know that she can fight it and get some of the money back. Ex-h won't tell her at this point, but what he doesn't yet know is that DD is getting braces this week and (for the first time ever) I am going to submit the charges to the FOC so the 1/2 he's supposed to pay will be attached to his arraerages. And I'm going to wait to do it until the tax money hits my account so that it's too late for them to try and get any of that money back.