- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Blended Families
cole2144
member
No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
Father`s Day a vent but not what you think
cole2144
member
My DH got a gift from SD, she made it in school. She tells us that she also made for BM`s boyfriend meanwhile me, her actual step parent did not get so much as a card from SD for Mother`s Day. I have been in SD daughter`s life since she was 16 months old and she will be 5 in October. I am extremely hurt.
No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.This discussion has been closed.
Re: Father`s Day a vent but not what you think
full time stepmom to SS1 and SS2 since 2010
married since 2011
TTC since 7/2011 (no planned bc since 2008)
HSG 11/2011: one blocked tube
S/A 2/2012 and retest S/A 3/2012: normal
Bloodwork: normal
2nd HSG 5/2012: clear
Femara cycle 5mg #1 7/14/12 + IUI #1 7/23/12 = bfn
New RE appt 8/14/12
IVF #1 meds 8/30/12. ER 9/14/2012: 7 retrieved, 6 fertilized. ET 9/19/12: 1 perfect embryo 5dt.
Beta #1 BFP! 97
Beta #2 234
Beta #3 4937
ultrasound #1 heart beat 127
10/20/12 graduated!!!
EDD 6/7/12
Team PINK!!
I'm really sorry your feelings are hurt. Keep in mind that children at that age are already pretty perceptive to people's feelings, and based on the way BM has acted previously SD probably knew Mommy would get angry if she made you a Mother's Day card. K used to make me "secret" Mother's Day cards at school. The teachers would let her make an extra one for me and basically hide it from BM until it was a day that my husband or I picked her up because they knew that BM would flip out. Now that K is a little older, she has started sticking up for herself a bit more so we haven't had the same issues. Plus, I wouldn't be surprised if your BM told SD to make a card for her boyfriend (our BM has done this repeatedly).
Your SD loves you, and she knows you love her. Try not to let this impact your Father's Day celebration with her and your husband.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
The hurt feelings should be directed toward your husband. HE should have made an effort on behalf of SD (with her of course) to honor your roll in her life on mothers day. Not to mention, maybe she did make something for you in school and her mom got wind of it and put a stop to it. You have no idea what may or may not have happened
Sorry about the double post. I can't edit for some reason
I did get a card from my husband that was signed from both of the kids but what I meant was nothing was made for me at school like BM`s boyfriend got or nothing that I got.
I know how you feel and it's hard. Some people say parenting is a thank-less job, but I really think if that's the case step-parenting is even more thankless. I was really hurt this year...my SK's are teenagers but we have a good relationship and I do everything for them...it was hard not even getting a verbal 'thanks' on that day.
Your SD is young, and she definitely loves you and appreciates you. I'm sure it will come out as she is older and starts thinking more for herself (rather than having to be prompted as almost all kids do at that age).
I'm sure you're doing a fantastic job, and are a fantastic SM!
One suggestion is to let DH know that this hurt you and perhaps he could encourage a little more attention to you from his DD on these special days. I told this to my DH this past mother's day and the day after when the kids were here I got a "happy belated mothers day" which although I know was coaxed, really really meant alot to me. They also don't do anything for my birthday despite the fact I make huge family and friend dinners for them, cook them b-day cakes from scratch (and as I said, these are teens who know to be grateful and shouldn't need prompting). I'm pretty sure DH is going to make sure it doesn't happen this year. Which again, even if it's something so so small, I'll be so thankful to get some sort of recognition. Hang in there, I totally know how you feel!
Hugs to you!!!!
This! Thanks. It just really hurt to hear that BM`s boyfriend got a gift but I did not even get a little card. It`s not the object, it`s the thought. Although knowing BM, SD probably made one and I just did not get it. Either way it`s nice to talk to someone that understands.
Oh man trust me I totally get you, and totally get how much it hurts. It's like your part of this family, but then sometimes you get excluded from it when you especially shouldn't be.....it's tough no question. If my husband wasn't such a great man I wouldn't be putting up with all the hurt over the years lol. He better keep his socks up!
Could not have said it any better and ditto on the amazing husband
From your picture, it looks like SD is very young yet. And you said you got a card from your DH. So it sounds like the "fault" lies with the school/teacher. I'm assuming they know/know about you and your role in SD's life? Maybe DH should nicely bring it up so that they are aware for the future. Maybe BM specifically told the teacher to have SD make a card for her BF.
My SD is 7 and when at daycare they made a bath salts gift for Mother's Day, she was adamant that she give her gift to me. I don't know if she figured BM would already be getting one from SS or if she just wanted me to have it instead of BM (not that it really matters). But at 7 she was old enough to make the decision. SS (4.5 yrs) didn't acknowledge me at all. So it might just be an age issue. We have the kids for Father's Day (every year) so I'm interested to see if BM's new BF gets brought up at all. BM let me call the kids when she had them on Mother's Day (I've been around for 3 years) but if she expects her BF to be acknowledged as a father on Sunday (he's been around for a few months) I know DH will have a hard time with it.
Have a great Father's Day regardless! Hopefully you have SD that day and you can make it awesome for her and her daddy!
This past Mother's Day I was really surprised that my SD got me a really cute bracelette. BM took her shopping to pick it out. However my SS who is 14, didn't so much as say two words to me. DH gave me a card with a $50 GC to Nordstroms and signed all the kids names, which isn't the same. It is hurtful, because we do so much for the kids, it is nice to be acknowledged.
Also, every year I buy a nice gift for DH from SS, the last two years I got them tickets to some motorcycle stunt show and they both had so much fun. I am not going to do it this year. He is almost 15, and treats me like I am invisible, so I feel like he is old enough to do something himself, or he can have his Mom give him money for something, just like we did for him on Mother's Day for BM. My DD did get H a Father's Day card, as well as I took her shopping to get her bio dad a gift yesterday.