i have bf'ing my child for a year now. i pump and freeze to have a supply 'just in case'. my mother(never bf'd) and mother in law(bf 5of7kids) we talking to themselves and were saying that i was going to have a hard time with my little guy because he is "so" attached to me. one of my closest friends has been telling me from birth to give him a bottle so he can drink it himself while i clean, cook, etc.
my little guy only nurses to sleep. he nurses when he awakes, to nap and while napping, usually naps 1-2 times during day, to sleep and 2-3 times he dream feeds. during waking hours he drinks water out of a cup. i have given him BM in a cup and he doesn't really drink it just sort of sips here and there. i see it as a waste to give it to him if i end up throwing it away. i see nothing wrong with our routine since i have the luxury of working from home. we have never left him overnight but have left him for the day....twice. he had a hard time but don't think its that big of a deal.
i sometimes feel like i'm going to give in and wean him earlier than i would want because of what other people say. i'm a non confrontational person so i just keep quiet. i have the full support of my husband
i'm just venting....have you experienced this? how do you handle it? tia
Re: breastfeeding a one year old.
Um, who cares what others say about YOUR breastfeeding relationship with YOUR child?
I don't mean to be harsh, but if you and your DH don't have a problem with it, then don't do anything differently. You don't have to explain it to anyone.
I'm slightly defiant, so others' discouraging comments often work to fuel my fire, especially if I feel strongly about something and am confident in my decisions.
I know plenty of people who disagree with our parenting decisions, so mostly I just don't discuss things with them. It's kind of a matter of protecting those things about myself and our family that I know others won't respect or understand.
Just spend time every few weeks or months to examine how things are going. If its working well for your family, that should be enough! You can explain to your moms that you don't see his nursing as a big issue, it works for you guys, and you're happy it makes your LO feel safe and comfortable.
Keep it up mama!
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If there's a La Leche League in your community, you should go to a meeting. It's very encouraging.
In the mean time, "This works for us" is all you need to say. Say it as often as needed. I enjoy nursing my 1 year old. It makes our lives easier.
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I don't worry about what other people think. I think my mom thinks I should have weaned my DD by now, but I don't care. She only nurses 3-4 times in the course of 24 hours (for 5-10 minutes each time), so it's no big deal. Plus, it's one less cup I have to wash
I've left her for 6-8 hours during the day, and it doesn't seem to phase her. She just drinks water when I'm out.
Who cares what other people say?
Honestly, this is your child. You have to stand up for what you believe in.
DS weaned himself at around 16 months of age. I'd have gladly kept going if that was what he wanted.
I have found the comments and opinions hurtful but I finally had to remind myself that I have to do what is best for my family regardless of how others feel. It is your child to raise and no one else's. I've had to search deep within myself and find a piece of myself I didn't know I had. I'm sure if you do some soul searching you'll find the same.
FWIW, I'm still nursing my 19mos old despite being 23wks pregnant.
Currently going through our second deployment. Can't wait for Zoe to meet her daddy!
I haven't gotten any comments from anyone yet, but she just turned 1 a month ago. I agree with the othe posters, just let people know it is working for you and it is not up for debate, and otherwise don't bring it up.
As for people thinking he is "too" attached, you should be proud of that. A secure attachment to a primary caregiver(s) is what makes for secure, independant children and grown ups.
Just smile and nod when they bring it up, and continue to do what works for you and your DS. It's great that your DH supports you!
I nursed my older son to sleep until he was past two, and he can totally fall asleep on his own with no problems (he' s now four). How attached a kid is has nothing to do with how long they are nursing, I promise!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Yes, I think that it is important to note that FF babies can be very attached to their parents. My SIL FF my niece after her supply tanked at 7 months. Her daughter was still very attached to her and was quite upset when my SIL left her with us one evening (maybe 4 hours) to go to a wedding.
So even if you do give her a bottle she will probably not change her personality drastically. And an attached child is not a sign of a problem. It may just be her personality. My niece was very attached and is slowly becoming more independent as she increases her circle of friends and is able to do more things for herself.
If I listened to everyone I would have had to:
left my baby to CIO at 4 weeks, fed her solids at 3 months, dipped her dummy in brandy, taken baby out visiting when she was 3 days old and every day after to get her "used to it".
The only advice that has been universally useful came from my Mum who said, "all you have to do is love them."
Do what works for you. Only you and DH know what that is, so only your opinion matters.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
You don't have to explain it to anyone.