Random people asking about breastfeeding

Ms.Starry · June 2012

Does this happen to you? I have avoided most rude comments, but I feel like people ask me whether or not I plan on breastfeeding much more than I expected. And strange people too, like random single male co-workers in their mid 20's and my mom's cousin within 5 seconds of finding out I was pregnant.

Maybe they are just trying to make conversation?

Mrs.G123 · June 2012

Weird. No one has asked me this, nor do I remember it from when I was pg with dd.

elfchique · June 2012

Yes. All the time in my first pregnancy. Drove me nuts. Like I wasn't anxious enough. It'll settle down. And if you have an idea of where said person is leaning, just tell them whatever they want to hear.

Ms.Starry · June 2012

I am a pretty open book person, so I don't mind a ton but it does seem odd, especially at work. I just say "I'm going to give it a try!" and smile. I think everyone who has asked me has been pro-breastfeeding or a clueless male.

rakle99 · June 2012

I've been asked a lot but it doesn't bother me. To me asking about breastfeeding is different than say, asking me if my nipples are bigger or if my breasts hurt. It just doesn't seem like a personal question to me.

lovethoseleaves · June 2012

Weird, that has never happened to me. When caring for the baby comes up in conversion, pretty much everyone just assumes I'll be breasfeeding/pumping. Like, "Oh, that's good that you're classes are spaced far enough apart, you'll be able to pump in between." So odd just to ask randomly...

ETA: I will also liken it to asking if your pregnancy was planned or not. They ask so they can judge your answer

bingqilin00 · June 2012

I've had many people ask me this as well, which definitely bothers me. But usually they don't really wait for me to answer, instead, they will go on and on about why it's so much better for the baby, or why they just couldn't do it themselves when they had a baby. It seems like their goal is to share their story and attempt to influence my decision based on whatever they believe is best.

bingqilin00 · June 2012

amy052006:
bingqilin00:
I've had many people ask me this as well, which definitely bothers me. But usually they don't really wait for me to answer, instead, they will go on and on about why it's so much better for the baby, or why they just couldn't do it themselves when they had a baby. It seems like their goal is to share their story and attempt to influence my decision based on whatever they believe is best.
Somewhere around six weeks after you have the baby, you start getting the whole "Are you still nursing?" which is inevitably followed by a long story of why the question asker stopped around that point. I feel like everyone wanted to tell me exactly when and why they stopped breastfeeding.

Oh great... can't wait for that!

ChrisG83 · June 2012

Yeah I have been asked about breastfeeding many times and I would expect it from friends but I do get it from strangers or random people I just met at a bbq. Although the last few times I was getting helpful tips and no negative comments so I wasn't bothered.

JSabs09 · June 2012

Yes, now that you mention it - but, I've only gotten the question from other women - not men. It hasn't really bothered me because I just say yes, because that's my intent and they don't say anything further. However, what I am finding personal and annoying is when I am being asked about the epidural. My intent is to try to go natural without medication (we'll see how the goes) but if I say that when I asked, I get strange looks or before I even say anything about it after they pose the question, the person automatically adds: "No one needs to be a hero in child birth, get the epidural." so I just keep my mouth shut and change the topic.

AnotherPreggo · June 2012

I would think they are just trying to make conversation. I think you'll find that most people who have kids/are pregnant won't ask you, because they realize how it would make them feel, but to someone else who really knows little about being pregnant it might seem appropriate.

mandapie · June 2012

I had people ask me that all the time when I was pg with DS. I'll admit it's the first question that pops into my mind when someone tells me they are pg, but mostly b/c I had sooooo many questions/fears myself before I actually did it and wanted to talk to as many people about it as possible. But I would NEVER actually ask someone that and would never judge someone for their decision. My answer when people would ask was "that's the plan, we'll see how it goes" until I knew where they were going with it.

BronzeMama · June 2012

I think they are trying to make conversation. But I think some are nosy rosies- especially if co workers. They are trying to figure out something about you.They might be trying to figure out how your productivity could be affected by the baby. And for those folks, I'd tell them exactly nothing. "Oh, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Why do you ask?"

I say trust your gut. I've stopped answering questions unless I feel the asker is doing so in a good spirit. If I sense bad vibes/argumentative vibes, I stop the conversation. Because I do think it's a little personal. Once you say yes, will they start asking about your nipples?

I mean, your mom and BFF and MIL would ask about BF but strangers and co workers? I don't get it.

Why dont people ask NORMAL things, like "how are you feeling today?" or "are you super excited now that you're midway through?" or anything other than about breasts or vaginas.

Ziegeficker · June 2012

I have had a few people ask me about it, but I don't find it terribly intrusive...I get more upset when I talk about breastfeeding my baby and they interrupt me to say that I shouldn't get my hopes up because I might not be able to. Which has happened. A few times. Irritating.

I think when it comes to pregnancy, everyone wants to tell you their opinions, criticize or just comment on your choices, touch you, and/or ask you inappropriate questions...It's kind of the worst part about being pregnant, in my opinion.

Mrs_Lady · June 2012

people are so strange

Karleesha · June 2012

BronzeMama:
Why dont people ask NORMAL things, like "how are you feeling today?" or "are you super excited now that you're midway through?" or anything other than about breasts or vaginas.

THIS!

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