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June 2012 Moms
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Anyone else have trouble getting checked?

PlumCallaLilyPlumCallaLily
in June 2012 Moms

I'm 38 weeks and my Dr. can't really check me because it's too painful.  I have extreme anxiety with vaginal exams anyway and I simply cannot relax enough to be checked.  I am not having any kind of contractions so my Dr. said checks weren't necessary, but I'd like to know if anything is going on in there. 

Do any of you have any tips for relaxing during the exams? They seriously hurt me and my Dr. said if I could relax (obviously) they would not hurt.  I just can't seem to do it.

And yes, I realize labor will hurt much worse and I need to put my big girl panties on and get over it, but my anxiety level is out of control.

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Re: Anyone else have trouble getting checked?

  • ericamanuelaericamanuela
    Honestly, it doesn't even really matter where you are as far as dilation and effacement unless you are 4 cm dilated. Every woman's body and pregnancy is different. Some people can walk around dilated for weeks and other can go into labor without being dilated the day before. When I get an internal exam I just focus on something else like the light bulb or I think this is nothing compared to what labor will feel like. I think dealing with pain is all a mind thing. Also, it's true, if you're relaxed it doesn't hurt at all.
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  • caeraRosecaeraRose member

    I have GAD, so although I don't have trouble with anxiety about this particular thing, I can certainly give you advice on anxiety in general, if it's important to you to get checked.

    Personally, my anxiety goes down when I feel like I'm in control of the situation. I have terrible anxiety about needles and drawing blood, and so when I know it's coming I prepare myself mentally by walking myself through it a few times and picturing everything going really well. That way, by the time I get in there and I'm actually about to get a needle stuck in my arm, I can tell myself that I've already seen it going well, so I know that I'm capable of getting blood drawn without tensing up. I can imagine that this same process - pre-visualizing it as a positive experience - would help with an exam as well. 

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  • jiggycolejiggycole
    I had my first check 2 days ago and like you I was super nervous about it.  I really wanted to turn the check down, but I decided to woman up and have it done.  I told my dr. up front that I was really nervous about the whole thing.  She talked me through what she was doing and told me to let her know if I wanted her to stop.  Of course the check was uncomfortable and a bit painful, I got through it.  She reminded me that there is no choice in the hospital about being checked.  I would just recommmend talking with your doctor about your anxiety and that could help.
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