I am LIVID

Sawyerplus1 · June 2012

Yesterday we welcomed our sweet DS, Oscar James, into our family. Yay! We didn't tell anyone his name while pregnant because we didn't want peoples comments and we also have a history of changing our minds very last minute (we did that with both DS1 and DD). We also knew some people (the ILs) may not like the name (Oscar), so we didn't want to hear anything from them about it before he was born. We already don't get along well with them and they have a hard time keeping their opinions (on everything we ever do) to themselves.

We found out recently that SIL was talking to MIL and MIL mentioned that she thought we were considering the name Oscar. We think DS1 let the name slip, as he knew what it was and is 4, so is not good at keeping secrets. No big deal; we didn't hear from them about it and we figured it would give her time to adjust to the name before he was born and we announced it.

WRONG. DH and I just got an email from MIL firstly listing all the people that have sent their congratulations to us on Oscars birth, but then proceeds to say how she's "sorry, but" all these people wondered "where the name came from and if it's a family name". And how "sorry but they [MIL and FIL] totally agree with everyone and could we possibly change it" .

CHANGE IT!! Good gawd, woman. I knew the ILs couldn't keep out of our business, but REALLY?! Asking us to change our newborns sons name because YOU and (apparently) EVERYONE you talk to doesn't like it?!?! I really thought she'd keep her mouth shut at least once he was born.

DH is out with the older LOs but i had to call and tell him and he immediately said he'd call her and tell her how inappropriate the email was and how she was over the line. I was so glad to hear him say that b/c sometimes he has trouble being upfront with his parents when they get in our business. But honestly, they've been so unreal with us lately (ie. trying to convince us that a birth center water birth would seriously endanger our LO, despite the fact this this is our 3rd LO, and not our first birth center or water birth we've done...) I think DH and I are both so incredibly done with their BS.

(Oh and when DH called her she tried to laugh about it and said she just wanted us to "consider it", as if we had just pulled his name out of a hat or something....). Oscar is sleeping now and I should be too, but dang it, MIL got my blood boiling!!! Thanks for letting me vent...

lmj8284 · June 2012

OMG F that! I think the name Oscar is adorable and congratulations on your new healthy baby boy:)

And seriously, F that!

lach1137 · June 2012

Wow - you deserve to vent!! That would infuriate me. So happy to hear that your DH stood up for you both. Some people are unreal.

AshleyR711 · June 2012

wha?! who DOES that!!

jamiah18 · June 2012

WOW!! That is absolutely ridiculous! Thank goodness your husband is on your side and handling it. WOW--- that is really all I could say. They had their chance at naming babies now it's your turn and I think you did a wonderful job:)

ASKSAK · June 2012

Wow. I would really think that people would know when to keep their mouths shut. Vent away girl! The good thing is DH stood up for you guys and ultimately it isn't their choice. Enjoy that sweet baby! and get your rest

SummerMama12 · June 2012

She asked you to CHANGE YOUR BABY'S NAME? I'm pretty sure this goes down as the rudest thing a MIL could ever do. I kind of want to punch her in the face for you.

Samiantha101 · June 2012

Yeah, it sounds like the inlaws, or at least your mil, is a bit rude. I wouldn't let it get to you. Enjoy your LO.

venussapphire · June 2012

OMG I would be livid as well. She sounds like my husbands entire family.

What is wrong with oscar. Its a great name, although you dont meet a lot of oscars, its not an "out there" name.

ohh I would be furious with her. I know if we have a boy my dad won't be too thrilled with our boy name. It's James..which is his dad's name who he doesnt have a great relationship with. But its also DH's middle name and it means a lot to him. Even though my dad will probably have hoped we chose another name, he would still be supportive.

good luck.

strawberrytree · June 2012

Holy crap, that is UNBELIEVABLY rude of your MIL. If she doesn't like the name that's fine, but she should keep it to herself. To say anything- especially to ask you to CHANGE IT- is wayyyyy over the line. I'm glad your DH is on your side and will sort her out.

girlsonly · June 2012

How rude for a person to ask parents to change their lo name? tell them to kiss your a$$

LoveBug0516 · June 2012

You have every right to be livid. I would tell them they can't see your LO if the name bothers them so much. Forget about them and focus on your sweet little boy.

mikeandcristina · June 2012

All I can say is wow... we have IL issues as well, and this would just set me off..

MalloryRudy · June 2012

We aren't telling our baby's name for that same reason. Although I did tell my mother and her response was, "Oh I'm glad you told me now, that'll take some getting used to". People are so rude! If anyone makes a comment about it just say "LAST TIME I CHECKED, THIS WAS OUR CHILD AND WE HAD THE RIGHT TO NAME HIM WHATEVER WE CHOSE." Hopefully that will set them in their place. So sorry you're having to go through this

SGB · June 2012

It's a great name and your IL's are crazy....I think as our parents/IL's get older they get crazier...that's what I chalk it up to at least. I wanted to name my 1st LO Caroline, but my mom hated the name...so I went with something else...but guess what this LO is a girl and I'm naming her Caroline haha. My mom has changed her tune and hasn't said anything.

Have a glass of wine and enjoy your Little One

Davesgrl2011 · June 2012

I wouldn't change the name of a kitten if my MIL hated the name lol, let alone the name of your child. Totally over the line, and honestly, not that easy. Once it is on the birth certificate it is legal. Does she think you can change a babies name as easy as a pets name? And why would she think you would care that much about her opinion, or the opinion of the "everyone" that is asking about it? Oscar is a old and respectable name that is actually making a bit of a comeback as are all older names, and name that he can be proud of and that will follow him into adulthood very nicely.

I mentioned that if we have another son that I would consider the name "Henry" and my family is already up in arms about it. What is wrong with Henry?

babyxmas · June 2012

Oscar James is such a cute name! Congrats!

I don't blame you, I would be livid too. Especially since he is already named. The audacity of them to ask you to change it it beyond me. You should reply back to the email stating that EVERYONE you have told about their inappropriate email thinks they crossed the line. Then copy and paste all of our responses.

In 2009 some bumpies complied a list of 'comebacks' for when someone doesn't like your child's name. Here are some of the comebacks: (sorry if there is a lot of jumbled text..it was copy and pasted from WORD. Yes I saved the responses. I thought they were clever)

Good thing he's not your son

v:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} o:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} w:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} .shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);} Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}

Shh, don't let BABYS NAME hear you say that. He may not like you

I won't tell BABYS NAME you said that when he's older

I don't like your name but I would never say that out loud (followed by a quick hand over your mouth)

Oh, we have a rule. You can't hold him until you learn to love his name.

Maybe we should rename him since you don't like it. (huge eye roll)

Well, since we are being honest, I don't like your drapes/shirt (whatever comes to mind)

Good thing your opinion doesn't matter

I don't believe I was ASKING, I was TELLING.

I'm sorry, let me turn around. That is something you should say behind my back.

rissa_n · June 2012

1. The name Oscar kicks @ss. (obviously I'm a little biased though lol)

2. Your ILs suck, sorry. That email was waaayyyy over the line. Sorry you have to deal with their BS right now, when you should be resting and relaxing w/ your new baby. <hugs>

CaitlinJ22 · June 2012

You should be livid. That's just mean. Oscar is an adorable name, but you could've named him Meatball and they would have to keep their mouths shut.

My MIL does the same thing when it comes to saying "Everyone" feels the same. Its BS and very middle schoolish.

Im sorry. Im glad your DH is on your side about it. I hope she doesnt live near you. YOu may also want to mention that poor Oscar may hear about this one day and it would hurt his feelings im sure. You know, make her feel bad.

octwed07 · June 2012

I'm sorry, i'd be livid also! With DD, while in the hospital, my SIL was carrying DD and said to her "oh, i don't know about you name -- i wonder if you'd respond to XX, or XX" and i was PISSED. I was thinking -- you get your own baby and name her what you want. Don't you try to rename my child. I was pissed. So i can understand... don't let it bother you! I personally love the name Oscar! it's my dad's name and we're going to use it at DS's middle name!