Moms of 2-Pre Partum Depression?!? — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Moms of 2-Pre Partum Depression?!?

Hey Ladies...  I am pregnant with DD#2, and am concerned I may be experiencing pre partum depression/anxiety.  Background info:  I have always been a high strung, somewhat anxious person, type A, etc.  Never been diagnosed w/depression before DD#1 was born, but have strugged w/ADHD my entire life.  I have been able to overcome it and have a very successful career through medication (adderall), and coping techniques, but when my ADD gets out of hand, my anxiety follows suit, and I start to fall apart.

I got off my adderall w/DD#1 pregnancy, and had an ok pregnancy w/her.  I don't enjoy or love being pregnant like some, but didn't hate it either.  I had an extremely scary, painful, unexpected labor, which put me behind the 8 ball to begin with, as I hadn't slept in 2 days by the time she came out, and was so mentally and physically torn apart, I didn't really get to rest or bond w/her immediately as she was taken by RESCU.  Anyhow, she ended up perfect and fine, but I did fall into a bad place of severe baby blues, and horrible anxiety, anger, and some depression PP.  As you know, going thru it, it's hard to see what others see from the outside, and I know looking back I was a hot mess, and people were concerned about me.  Breastfeeding made me extremely anxious, sad, and screwed w/my hormones big time.  As soon as I weaned at 8 mos, I felt like a new person again (got back on my adderall at that point also). 

We experienced a miscarriage at 8.5w last Nov, and I experienced a mini 'post partum depression' episode, from my body being depleted of the hormones, and the sadness of the loss.  At that time, by dr added Zoloft to my regimen to help, as I was having randmon panic attacks and crying spells, and it wasn't healthy for DH or DD.

My question is this:  I am already feeling the onset of some anxiety, depression, and just being down and not myself.  I am hating the pregnancy, and feel so horrible admitting this.  I want this baby more than life, but am hating what the pregnancy is doing to me, plus I'm scared b/c I know what is ahead of me.

I know a huge part of this is being off my ADD meds, b/c I feel like I can't perform at work like I used to, I'm exhausted all  the time from chasing our 2YO and being pregnant, etc.  My dr said I could get back on Zoloft if I want, but I am already at 16w, and would like to just stay off as he prefers I stop in 3rd tri, and really, I know from experience the best solution for me is my ADD meds, not Zoloft.  Did you moms of 2 experience deeper/more severe PPD with DC#2?  Can you suggest any coping mechanisims or 'red flags' to look out for?  I am scared I am having some pre partum depression, and am considering going to a psychiatrist who specializes in this, just so I can have the relationship in place once this baby is born...    I do plan to get on Zoloft right away this time around, and stop BFing if it makes me crazy again.  I just want some honest answers on what to expect, as I do hear PPD worsens with each pregnancy.  I may also do the placenta encapsulation, as I hear it can help stabalize hormones.  TIA!

Chemical Pregnancy 5.2011. BFP 9.2011 MC @ 8.5w D&C 11.4.2011 sweet pea is always in our hearts. BFP 3.23.2012! Our baby turkey is due 11.22.2012! Pregnancy Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Moms of 2-Pre Partum Depression?!?

  • Hi Taylor.  I am at work and don't have much time to write just now but I will try to write again later.  With the exception of your difficult delivery, your story and mine are very similar.  I just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone.  What has helped me is keeping in mind at all times that THIS WILL END.  It may feel really far away right now, but you've had tough times before, and those ended, so just have faith that this too, has an end.  Keep reminding yourself of that.  I have a ring that I bought many years ago during a particularly difficult time, and now when I am strugging I wear it to remind myself that when I was at my darkest and thought things would never get better, that it did, and that it was followed by many years of truly wonderful stuff.  I think reaching out to a psychiatrist is an excellent idea.  The only other stuff I would say is to make sure you are getting as much sleep as you can and try to get at least a little exercise when you can.  And take it easy on yourself about not being as productive or efficient at work.  I bet you are doing just fine.  Good luck. 
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