Working Moms: when did you sleep train?

CameraPerson · November 2008

At what age did you start? I realize many babies do not need this, but it looks like mine will. Looks like the earliest is 3 months. I wonder if anyone did it earlier and how it turned out.

shouldbeworkin · November 2008

About 6 mos for my DS and 9 mos for DD. I did it b/c they had sep anxiety and nothing else worked except for not going in there and them learning to soothe themselves back to sleep. With DS, he was awake more than he was asleep most nights. It was brutal.

luvmagoldn · November 2008

We used Suzy Giardano's method and started at eight weeks. By twelve weeks they were sleeping 12 hours.

PTKate05 · November 2008

We did it at 4 months because he was waking up every 1.5 hours. That sucked so bad! Ferberizing made him cry more, so after 3 days of 2 hours of crying we went to CIO and he progressed really quickly with that. He has slept 12 hours since then.

marrymemylove · November 2008

People will call this judgmental but it is CRUEL to sleep train under 6 months. REALLY, even if you believe it isn't cruel after that age.

We never sleep trained though I would consider it after about 10 months or so if I had to. DS woke every 2 hours for 12 months too, so I know what sleep deprivation is! I went back to work and later on quit for unrelated reasons and I can say too that it isn't any easier getting through the day on no sleep being a SAHM v WOHM. If anything the WOHMs get more of a mental break and can cope with the lack of sleep better imho.?

It is so sad to hear mums wanting to leave newborns to cry. And until they're 6 months old they're STILL newborns!?

Angela814 · November 2008

Never. I don't really believe in sleep training. DD still wakes once a night, and I think that's perfectly normal. Up until I night weaned she was actually nursing every 3 hours around the clock.

From what I've gathered here, CIO isn't recommended until 6 months at the earliest. I don't know much about other forms of sleep training.

luvmagoldn · November 2008

Ok, I just have to redirect here. Not all sleep training methods involve leaving babies to cry. The methods that involve teaching babies to self soothe felt right to me. There are ways to do that without leaving them to cry endlessly or allow them to get so worked up that they aren't learning anything.

And anyone who thinks young babies can't "learn" is mistaken. When you rock a baby to sleep each time or put them in the car in order to get them to fall asleep ( as examples) babies are being taught that is what is necessary to sleep. They are also learning that is what the parents are willing to do. If the parents decide they cannot keep that up anymore because it's impractical, exhausting, whatever and suddenly expect the baby to work it out on their own...to me that is confusing and stresful for a baby.

Painting with a broad brush about any topic is usually not an educated stance.

senecamom · November 2008

I wouldn't until at least 6 months.

marrymemylove · November 2008

luvmagoldn:
Ok, I just have to redirect here.? Not all sleep training methods involve leaving babies to cry.? The methods that involve teaching babies to self soothe felt right to me.? There are ways to do that without leaving them to cry endlessly or allow them to get so worked up that they aren't learning anything.?
And anyone who thinks young babies can't "learn" is mistaken.? When you rock a baby to sleep each time or put them in the car in order to get them to fall asleep ( as examples) babies are being taught that is what is necessary to sleep.? They are also learning that is what the parents are willing to do.? If the parents decide they cannot keep that up anymore because it's impractical, exhausting, whatever and suddenly?expect the baby?to work it out on their own...to me that is confusing and stresful for a baby.
Painting with a broad brush about any topic is usually not an educated stance.

Sorry but sleep training is almost always used to mean some form of CIO. No one calls pickup putdown sleep training around here.

And I'm sorry but you are wrong about the habits. A baby doesn't form habits until the second 6 months. YES after that you're right but in the first 6 months or so they do NOT. They aren't even capable of it. There is a ton of evidence on that.?

eowynmn · December 2008

You should NEVER sleep train under 6 months. Some will say you can do it at 4 months, but all professionals will agree that 3 months is way too young. You would be a TERRIBLE mother to do this and ignore your child's cries as such a young age, so please don't. Do some freakin research on it. You decided to have a baby, now bone up to the responsibility and take care of your baby.

Bluesmoothee · December 2008

4 months. As soon as we got the okay from the ped. It turned out wonderfully.

Bella427 · December 2008

Wow, this thread doesn't sound like the usual Working Moms board!

We haven't sleep trained yet (DD is 12 months) but I plan to use Dr. Gordon's method over Christmas break https://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp This is a pretty crunchy gentle method of sleep training. I personally wouldn't use CIO or Ferber until DC is 6 months old and has the neurological capability to self-soothe. I won't say I'll never cry it out though, because we all need sleep and never say never. What worked for me as a working mom was co-sleeping so that DC could nurse in the middle of the night without either of us fulling waking up. I will admit though that it's pretty hard to get her to sleep in her crib now so I've got some habits that will be pretty hard to break down the road.

MrsAmers · December 2008

I think bedtime and going to sleep routines are great at any age.

I, personally, don't think sleep training (at least all of the methods that I'm familiar with) should be done before 6 months. And if you're breastfeeding, no nightweaning should be done before 6 months either. (Some babies will sleep through before then, but they shouldn't be deprived of needed feedings before that time or your supply and babies development could suffer.)

Babies don't always sleep well. A good bedtime routine can help them sleep better. No habit, no matter what the age, is set in stone. I rocked and nursed my daughter to sleep until she was 10.5 months old. When she was ready to fall asleep by herself, we didn't have to sleep train her to get her to do it.

Oh, and the real truth is that baby/infant/toddler sleep isn't linear. Even if you sleep train now and it works, you'll have to do it again everytime there is a sleep disturbance - illness, teething, developmental spurt, growth spurt, etc. So don't think that a 3 month old who sleeps for 12 hours straight means that you're never going to have to parent at night again.

molldoll71 · December 2008

I never did. Billy didn't sleep through the night - I mean from 8 to 6 until he was about 9 months. At 7 months we were down to one waking at 3:00 for a nursing session. When I first went back to work I did a dream feed right before I went to bed so I could cut out one of the middle of night wakings. Otherwise I just went with the flow. Once I was back at work - the middle of the night feedings were a special time for me. It would feel like Billy and I were the only people awake in the world and it was nice to have extra bonding time.

Oh and I am not sure how sleep deprivation is easier if you are working - it's not like I am sitting at my desk napping or reading magazines (not saying that SAHM mothers do that) but I have to think and be on point (which was really hard the first 3 months back at work!)

luvmagoldn · December 2008

We are going to have to agree to disagree on this. I feel really strongly about this subject as do many of you. I regret that this turned in to a judgemental and harsh string when the original poster was looking for constructive input.

spinach · December 2008

We started at 4 months and was very successful. We didn't do anything for a couple of months because he was sick on and off. We got back on it when he was 7 months and he has been sleeping through the night ever since. For my DS doing Ferber and eating solids worked together to get him to sleep through the night.

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