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September 2012 Moms
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For those of you using a doula...

jessagerjessager member
in September 2012 Moms

what made you decide to use one? 

DH and I have interviewed a couple and are not convinced that we can't do it on our own.  He's a massage therapist so once we take the childbirth/ lamaze classes, we're thinking he'll know enough to support me through delivery.

Are we being naive?

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Re: For those of you using a doula...

  • Manx4Manx4 member

    I don't think you're being naive - I think you're realizing a doula isn't for everyone.  My husband isn't a massage therapist and we didn't have a doula and my L&D went just fine. 

    Some women want one - some women don't feel the need for one.  It's a personal choice.  

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  • terri_doula2010terri_doula2010 member

    I'm doing it because she will be an additional calming/helpful influence, and because she is an expert at birth, whereas my husband (regardless of the fact that he has made himself quite knowledgeable about it) is not. Also, if DH needs to go to the bathroom/get food/take a break for a few minutes, I won't be left alone.

    She can not only assist me herself, but tell him how to better assist me. She can go get him a snack or drink if he needs one but wants to stay with me. She will come to my house and help me labor here, and help me decide when to go to the hospital (preferably as late as possible without delivering in the car!).

     My husband and I are very well connected and he will be excellent support, but I like that there will be someone there "on my side" who will be able to be a little more dispassionate about the situation, so if things aren't going well and we have to make a decision, it won't just be me in labor and DH worrying about me and baby. Our doula can help us talk through things to make the decision that we really want. 

    I don't mean life or death situations, of course.

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  • jessagerjessager member
    imageterri_doula2010:

     My husband and I are very well connected and he will be excellent support, but I like that there will be someone there "on my side" who will be able to be a little more dispassionate about the situation, so if things aren't going well and we have to make a decision, it won't just be me in labor and DH worrying about me and baby. Our doula can help us talk through things to make the decision that we really want. 

    This is why we originally started interviewing them and it all sounds like a great idea in theory, but with the money doulas charge in Manhattan, I wonder if it's worth it? 

     

     

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  • terri_doula2010terri_doula2010 member
    imagejessager:

    This is why we originally started interviewing them and it all sounds like a great idea in theory, but with the money doulas charge in Manhattan, I wonder if it's worth it? 

     

    Yeah...I've heard some Manhattan prices and that would give me pause as well!! Prices are MUCH better here and I have a friend discount.

    You could look for student doulas to interview. They will usually do it for free or a much reduced price, as they are still working on their certifications and need experience. You can still interview students to see if you think they'll be worthwhile, but the students have already had all of their training, just haven't attended as many births (and many attend at a second doula before striking out on their own, so it isn't like they've never experienced it). Being a good doula requires passion and research as much as hands-on experience, and those things aren't what you are going to learn mid-birth.

    As an example, I'm a doula. After my first birth, I was talking to the head nurse (who was our nurse due to a shortage that day) about how it was my first birth and so wonderful. She said she would never have known I wasn't an experienced doula. Not trying to toot my own horn, just saying that having a student doula can be very valuable.

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  • CarlySaraCarlySara member
    The hospital where I will be delivering trains doulas, so you have the option of a free, fresh out of the program doula.  if it wasn't free...I probably wouldn't get one.
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  • drubiedrubie
    imageterri_doula2010:

    I'm doing it because she will be an additional calming/helpful influence, and because she is an expert at birth, whereas my husband (regardless of the fact that he has made himself quite knowledgeable about it) is not. Also, if DH needs to go to the bathroom/get food/take a break for a few minutes, I won't be left alone.

    She can not only assist me herself, but tell him how to better assist me. She can go get him a snack or drink if he needs one but wants to stay with me. She will come to my house and help me labor here, and help me decide when to go to the hospital (preferably as late as possible without delivering in the car!).

     My husband and I are very well connected and he will be excellent support, but I like that there will be someone there "on my side" who will be able to be a little more dispassionate about the situation, so if things aren't going well and we have to make a decision, it won't just be me in labor and DH worrying about me and baby. Our doula can help us talk through things to make the decision that we really want. 

    I don't mean life or death situations, of course.

     

    All of this! The doula we ended up choosing was a total no brainer for us - we had interviewed 3 others, and not certain about any of them. Then we met this woman, and both of us were like, um, YES, please be our doula! It was almost like a childbirth class, just interviewing her. We know what we've been able to read and learn about birth and the postpartum period, but this is a woman who has seen it all, knows our ob and our hospital, is 100% supportive of us, and will be a huge support. With all that said, if we were in manhattan, we would likely not be able to afford her services... 

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  • gingerfamilygingerfamily member
    imageterri_doula2010:

    I'm doing it because she will be an additional calming/helpful influence, and because she is an expert at birth, whereas my husband (regardless of the fact that he has made himself quite knowledgeable about it) is not. Also, if DH needs to go to the bathroom/get food/take a break for a few minutes, I won't be left alone.

    She can not only assist me herself, but tell him how to better assist me. She can go get him a snack or drink if he needs one but wants to stay with me. She will come to my house and help me labor here, and help me decide when to go to the hospital (preferably as late as possible without delivering in the car!).

     My husband and I are very well connected and he will be excellent support, but I like that there will be someone there "on my side" who will be able to be a little more dispassionate about the situation, so if things aren't going well and we have to make a decision, it won't just be me in labor and DH worrying about me and baby. Our doula can help us talk through things to make the decision that we really want. 

    I don't mean life or death situations, of course.

    Ditto this.  Plus, I had a prett tramatic birth with DD and would like the complete opposite this time.  I'm counting on my doula to help with that. 

     

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  • jessagerjessager member

    yeah, we're talking $1500 for the doula PLUS $300 for childbirth classes and another $300 for newborn care classes.  Yeesh!!!!!

    Maybe we just need to keep interviewing?

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  • gingerfamilygingerfamily member

    There are some around here that are that expensive.  But, we found ones for half the price as well.  I'd keep looking.

     

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