WWYD- gift etiquette for 1 yo birthday party

chuicafina · June 2012

So a friend of mine had a baby 2 days after DS was born. His party is the weekend before Q's and when I RSVP'd I noticed that my friend had written "no gifts please." She and her DS are also invited to Q's birthday (although they haven't said whether or not they're coming yet), so now I'm wondering what to do about a gift.

Either way I look at it, there's the potential for awkwardness. If I bring a gift, I risk making her other guests uncomfortable, but if I don't bring a gift, and then she does bring one to Q's party, then it's awkward for me. I'm thinking about just getting him something small, like a book.

Thoughts?

JuneBug0611 · June 2012

I'd call your friend and say that you saw she doesn't want people to bring gifts to the party, but ask if there is something else you could bring for the party (food, drink, etc.). Alternatively, depending on how close you are, I would ask her if she really doesn't want people to bring gifts (i.e., they already have too much junk and really don't want stuff) or if she just didn't want people to feel obligated (in which case, I would go ahead and give something small). I had a similar situation where my friend had written "no gifts," and when I asked about it, she said that they felt bad because they were having a small party in a park and weren't "giving" their guests anything other than cupcakes so they didn't want people to feel obligated to bring a gift. Knowing that was her reasoning, I went ahead and got a small gift, because I didn't feel "obligated" and just genuinely wanted to give a little something to her daughter. Since it was an inexpensive gift (just a CD of fun music to dance/play to), she didn't feel bad accepting it, and everyone was happy.

If in the end you don't get her child a gift, and she does get yours one, you don't need to feel awkward. She is the one who wrote "no gifts" on her invitation, and she is the one who chose to give your LO a gift. None of this was compulsory!

CarlaAndJames · June 2012

I'd do a small gift, like a favorite book of your LOs or something and give it to her privately. Just say "I know you said no gifts, but this is LO's favorite book and he told me your son just had to have it!"

klingb52 · June 2012

Would it be possible to give her LO a gift ahead of time or after the actual party? That way, you wouldn't feel awkward bring a gift to a party where no one else brought gifts?

chuicafina · June 2012

JuneBug0611:
If in the end you don't get her child a gift, and she does get yours one, you don't need to feel awkward. She is the one who wrote "no gifts" on her invitation, and she is the one who chose to give your LO a gift. None of this was compulsory!

You're right, I shouldn't stress about it. I think I'll go for the book idea. I like CarlaandJames wording about LO saying he just had to share his favorite book. Cute!

chuicafina · June 2012

klingb52:
Would it be possible to give her LO a gift ahead of time or after the actual party? That way, you wouldn't feel awkward bring a gift to a party where no one else brought gifts?

Also a good idea!

tulipblossom · June 2012

Or just don't bring the gift to the party. If she does in fact come to your party just give it to her at your party. Or give it to her the next time you see her after both parties.

bt3701 · June 2012

tulipblossom:
Or just don't bring the gift to the party. If she does in fact come to your party just give it to her at your party. Or give it to her the next time you see her after both parties.

I was going to say this

And I agree with just giving something small... or maybe even something like a Target gift card so she can at least get some diapers or something!

JuneBug0611 · June 2012

tulipblossom:
Or just don't bring the gift to the party. If she does in fact come to your party just give it to her at your party. Or give it to her the next time you see her after both parties.

I actually don't agree with this... if you give it to her at your LO's party or after both parties, it will be pretty obvious you're only giving her LO a gift because she gave your LO a gift. I think it's better to bring it to her LO's party but give it to her privately.

kaitylin · June 2012

People will probably take gifts anyway. We said no gifts but every single person gave DD a gift. Not one person listened (well, one emailed an e-giftcard). Most people gave clothes, shoes, or books which are nice because they don't take up much space. We are living in a temporary rental (under 600 sq feet) until our new place is built and we just don't have room. That being said, take it to her party and there's a good chance people will all have brought gifts anyway. Find out her reasoning though and if it's space, get something small like an outfit or books.

JuneBugsMommy · June 2012

CarlaAndJames:
I'd do a small gift, like a favorite book of your LOs or something and give it to her privately. Just say "I know you said no gifts, but this is LO's favorite book and he told me your son just had to have it!"

You can also use the book in place of a birthday card and write your birthday wishes to her LO in it.

11kacey · June 2012

We said 'no gifts' and mean it. I don't need any more 'stuff'. Also, we are all about Waldorf type toys and I don't feel like asking people to get specific things. So, it was just easier to say 'no gifts please'. However, we are doing a Time Capsule for her 1st birthday, to be opened on her 18th birthday. We included an insert about it and said that presents weren't needed, but if they would like to contribute to her first year Time Capsule, that would be great! We then listed a few ideas of items (something that reflects the last year).. like a photograph, a magazine or a newspaper article. I hope people that want to participate do and those that don't, just come and enjoy themselves!

Baby4OT · June 2012

Similar situation... my friend's DD is 11 days older than mine and she requested no gifts for her DD's party. I went ahead and brought a gift anyway (small books) and all the other guests had brought something also. It was mostly clothing. Just bring your gift to the party and I'm sure others will too.

Want a personalized experience?

WWYD- gift etiquette for 1 yo birthday party

Re: WWYD- gift etiquette for 1 yo birthday party

Choose Another Board

Search Boards