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August 2012 Moms
PNWmommy
member
Thoughts from a 2nd time mom...
PNWmommy
member
Just thought I'd share some of my experiences 
I rolled my eyes when everyone said "get sleep while you can"... but it's so true & for us, dd1 didn't sttn until she was almost 1 year old! She also had colic & literally screamed from dusk til dawn. It was awful. Trying to deal with that on top of lack of sleep will leave you feeling loony. There were times where I had to put her down & walk away... but then I'd feel bad because I knew she needed me.
Let me add that DH was on a deployment during her birth & didn't meet her until she was 1 month old. It was allllllllllll me...
It was not at all what I expected it to be. I think had more people been open with me, I could've had a more realistic outlook on what to expect. I don't think most babies sleep more than 2-3 hours stretches, including at night, for a while. Get your rest now.
Their poop is liquid. It's liquid & it leaks. When you hear that rumble, do not, I repeat, DO NOT put any pressure near their bum. Hold them straight out & don't lay them down to change them until their clothes are off lol!
Also, they poop with every feeding, so be prepared.
If you plan on nursing, it freaking hurts! I left the hospital with chapped nipples. Lanolin is wonderful. Ask for samples to take home from the hospital (along with anything else they will let you take). Within a few days, your milk will come in & your boobs feel like cement. Massage them. It will help. Do not pump if you don't need to. This will just throw off your supply. Nurse the baby when it's hungry, or pump. Don't do both. If you do pump for relief, do it briefly, & know that that suction signals your body to produce more milk. I also spent a lot of time reading & researching about supply issues, etc. when in reality, everything was fine. Of course, educating yourself is wonderful & gives you better insight as to what you're doing & the science of it, but honestly, don't stress over supply. If you have questions, go see your hospital's lactation consultant. That is your best bet... & you are allowed to see them for as long as you need, & as long as you are nursing that baby that you delivered in their hospital
Don't try to clean the house, cook meals, etc. Let others help you. You just had a baby. Your job is to take care of that baby. The time really does fly by, so even if you're a zombie from sleep deprivation, or your baby won't stop screaming, it will be over before you know it. It feels like FOREVER when you're living it, but looking back, it's such a short amount of time.
If you find yourself stressing out about being a mom, stop & take a deep breath. Remind yourself that "this too shall pass" & remember that you don't have to accomplish anything. Relax & enjoy your baby. 
That doesn't cover all bases, but just thought it could be a fun thread & I'm sure others can add to this, their own experiences.
DD1 11|04|10 DD2 08|20|12
After 4 miscarriages, a diagnosis of Asherman's Syndrome, endo & lap surgery to remove partial septum &
massive scar tissues, we have a completed family
Never give up!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Thoughts from a 2nd time mom...
Another piece of advice....
Follow your gut and instincts. People are going to criticize your parenting no matter what. What works for one child doesn't always work for another. If you aren't putting your kid in danger and it works then do it.
Also remember you can't spoil a newborn. My sister and her DF always harassed me for not letting my son cry and for holding him so much. I remember crying because I was so upset thinking I was going to spoil him. Finally I called my mom and told her what was going on and she gave me the best advice ever. Enjoy your snuggle time now because they grow up to fast! My son is about to be two now and wants nothing to do with snuggle time. They truly do grow up way too fast.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Thank you for this! This is really great to hear. I've known that pumping can affect supply, and as far as I know I will have no need to pump; I'll be at home and able to breastfeed on demand, so I haven't been planning on buying ANY sort of pump. This has been worrying me because I've heard that some women "need" to pump to relieve pressure. It's nice to know that it can actually make the problem worse. I'm not really a bath person, but I love standing in hot showers, so I'll have to keep that in mind.
blog! thescenery.net
I do recommend buying a manual pump, you know, just the hand one. It's nice to have on hand & is super easy to express milk, if needed.
I agree with "spoiling" the babies... It's not really possible. Babies need that closeness to feel secure.
& the whole issue of people offering advice, it's so true that every baby & every situation is unique. I will warn you about facebook. It's wonderful for new moms to get advice, but be aware that everyone & their moms will chime in. I've learned to ask my question & then not comment back
It's a very quick & easy way to get suggestions, but you don't have to leave everything open for debate. Just say thanks 
lol
It's just so hard to know what to expect. You don't know what to expect. Just try to take it a day at a time & enjoy life.
I've been meaning to share some insight with you ladies for a while, but hardly have time. I have a 19 month old running me to my bare bones each day haha.
I totally agree with everything!
Also I want to add.. remember to eat!!! I would go all day long and it would be 1 pm and I realized I hadn't eaten a thing. That also will affect your supply. Eat and keep hydrated!!!
Mom of 2 monkeys and 1 on the way!
Christian12/06, Liam 08/12, Monkey #3 10/10
Just to comment and give the other side of some things...
I don't think most babies sleep more than 2-3 hours stretches, including at night, for a while. Get your rest now.
This sentiment honestly drives me crazy...you cannot truly physically or mentally prepare for this. I remember hearing this all.the.time when I was pregnant the first time. It is good to be straight-forward with FTMs but it doesn't matter - you cannot stock up sleep. And my DD was sleeping 4-5 hour stretches within a week or two and STTN by 8 weeks. It can go either way!
Their poop is liquid. It's liquid & it leaks. When you hear that rumble, do not, I repeat, DO NOT put any pressure near their bum. Hold them straight out & don't lay them down to change them until their clothes are off lol! It is true that their poop is liquid for awhile I never heard her belly rumble and I never had to worry about how I held her to avoid a blow-out. Actually, I can count the number of blow-outs DD had on one hand - we cloth diapered, though, so I am not sure how much of a difference that made.
Within a few days, your milk will come in & your boobs feel like cement. My milk never came in like this and I think it is good for women to know that even though you hear that this will happen, it may not happen to you! Never woke up leaking all over the place, never had rock-hard boobs, etc. Which leads me to the next one...
I also spent a lot of time reading & researching about supply issues, etc. when in reality, everything was fine. Of course, educating yourself is wonderful & gives you better insight as to what you're doing & the science of it, but honestly, don't stress over supply. If you have questions, go see your hospital's lactation consultant. That is your best bet... & you are allowed to see them for as long as you need, & as long as you are nursing that baby that you delivered in their hospital
I had MAJOR supply issues and I had taken for granted that my body would do what it was supposed to do, at first. I talked to LCs, put DD to the breast constantly, pumped when she wasn't at the breast, took loads of Fenugreek, drank gallons of water and on and on and on...and I just could not produce enough for her. I do not disagree that you shouldn't stress about it but if you experience supply issues from the start and everyone, including LCs, tell you that "your body knows what to do", please trust your instincts and supplement with formula if your gut is telling you that you are not giving your baby enough. I ended up quitting after 7 weeks because I couldn't take the emotional stress I was putting on myself anymore and DD was not gaining enough weight. I was made to feel so afraid of supplementing and wrecking my supply even more, that we waited way too long to do it and I really regret dragging it out for so long.
And personally, I agreed with all of the other advice OP gave! Just thought I would give my two cents on some of my experiences that were different.
I continuously forgot to eat. I had a huge refillable water bottle next to me to keep hydrated because of supply but I never remembered to eat while SO was at work. Hopefully this time it will be different since I have DS who still needs to eat.
I think liquid poop is very common for breastfed babies. And the rumble I believe is in reference to the rumble in the diaper when she's just gone poop. Never had a blow out poop, but came close a few times.
I did have rock hard boobs when my milk came in. It seriously hurt to just roll over in bed. But didn't have a good supply at all.
Mom of 2 monkeys and 1 on the way!
Christian12/06, Liam 08/12, Monkey #3 10/10
My boobs never felt like that either and I never had leaks. I had oversupply issues so don't assume just because you aren't miserable that you don't have enough milk. My boobs said "Feed All the babies!!!!" but I never had engorgement that was not from DS missing a feed.