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oh just relax and stop trying it will happen.....

jessical0604jessical0604
in Infertility

if I hear this one more time I'm going to beat my head against the wall!!!!.....ehhh!!!!!!!!!!

 ok even if I entertained that annoying statement please explain to me ,how exactly someone who wants a baby more then anything in this whole world can just "stop trying"....no matter how hard I try to not think about it I can't help but to go there! immediately after my husband and i have sex I'm doing the little crazy things that "might help" INCLUDING HEADSTANDS some days lol...which i know makes me crazy but hey it MIGHT help...but grrrrr 

to make this even more annoying this statement came from a girl who JUST TURNED 21 and is pregnant with...wiat for it ladies...her THIRD CHILD all from different fathers and NOT ONE is in the picture GRRRRRRRR 

 rant over thanks for letting me vent  

June 2009- Begin TTC November 2011- Laparoscopy to check for endometriosis (normal) HSG to check for clear tubes -(Normal) and hysteroscopy to check uterus (normal) April 2012- AMH checked- (5.8) thyroid and prolactin= normal....internal ultrasound- thin uterin lining indicating issues with ovulation April 2012- Semen Analysis- sperm count of 8
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Re: oh just relax and stop trying it will happen.....

  • mattea1986mattea1986
    yeah, I'd beat her against a wall, not ur head lol.... I hate hearing that too... luckily, my family mostly knows what we're going through and has since stopped forwarding this insane logic, but I honestly don't understand why people say it at all... it in no way helps anyone relax, and if the person giving the advice doesn't know about any IF issues, then it just hurts.
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  • jessical0604jessical0604

    imagemattea1986:
    yeah, I'd beat her against a wall, not ur head lol.... I hate hearing that too... luckily, my family mostly knows what we're going through and has since stopped forwarding this insane logic, but I honestly don't understand why people say it at all... it in no way helps anyone relax, and if the person giving the advice doesn't know about any IF issues, then it just hurts.

     eh I wanted to thats for sure! but i couldnt justify beating a pregnant girl :p no matter how bad i wanted to lol .....and i agree its a ridiculous logic and i wish i could say she didn't know about our IF issues but she does we were talking about it and she came up with her 7 month old on her hip and was like "oh your young you have time just relax and stop trying and it will happen, TRUST me it works, i wasn't trying to get pregnant with any of mine and here i am.....WELL WHOOPTY FREAKING WHO good for you EHHH ...i dislike this person anyway she is my SIL's boyfriends sister..how bout that for family connections ha.... i don't like the way she treats her kids or walks around like the world owes her something for being a single mom ....i have so much respect for single moms but not this girl who expects hand outs because of her poor decision making. gr i think I'm just overly sensitive tonight idk  

    June 2009- Begin TTC November 2011- Laparoscopy to check for endometriosis (normal) HSG to check for clear tubes -(Normal) and hysteroscopy to check uterus (normal) April 2012- AMH checked- (5.8) thyroid and prolactin= normal....internal ultrasound- thin uterin lining indicating issues with ovulation April 2012- Semen Analysis- sperm count of 8
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  • krissywavekrissywave member
    Sad thing about it, is if they dont have infertility issues they never fully understand what all we deal with when it comes to trying to have a child.  
    April 10 IUI BFN Sept 10 IUI BRN Feb 11 IVF hoping for a BFP! Feb 27 ER 28 eggs Mar 4 8 health eggs, 2 ET Mar 17 - Beta 180!! BFP!!! Mar 21 - Beta 1295!! holy cow what a jump Coming soon 1st Sono March 30!!! Crossing fingers for healthy stick bean(s) Mar 29 miscarry :( 6w 3d 2nd IVF July 2011 BFP July 2011 M/C 11/11/11 hate to say good bye again! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 3rd IVF 4/3/12 ER 46 eggs (holly cow batman) 40 mature, 36 fertilized 4/8/12 ET 2 AB put back 4/10/12 15 make it to FREEZE 4/22/12 Beta BFN 1st FET 6/7/12 Day we are going to put back 2. 6/21/12 BFP 1285 6/25/12 4780 I hope this time they stick!! Deaglan William welcome. My rainbow is finally here February 7, 2013
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  • Laurakat81Laurakat81 member
    I'd like to throatpunch her and everyone else who says it. Sorry you had to hear that!

    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


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  • butterflybeauty10butterflybeauty10

    I can't stand comments like these from people who haven't been through this journey.  I started TTC many years ago.  I have even been through IVF & recently was told to "relax".... really?!  It's easy for someone to say "relax" while they have kids on their hips!  Plus, it's not like I have been stressed the entire time of TTC - many times over the years we have been on nice vacations, relaxing evenings at home... etc... totally relaxed, but no baby came out of it.  Also, relaxing isn't going to take care of infertility problems... (i.e. open blocked tubes, clear endometrisis, rise sperm counts, shrink fibriods (insert issue here!). 

    Started TTC in 2001
    medicated cycles, 3 surgeries, failed IUI & IVF
    IVF #1 July 2011 5dt of 2 blast = BFN
    IVF #2 June/July 2012 (praying for a BFP)
    **SAIFW**
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  • April+April+
    I lost count of how many times I have heard this statement from people over the years. In fact, I even tried it! and guess what, it didn't work! It will either happen or it won't. Stress can prevent ovulation but if you are always regular then it doesn't matter if you "relax and don't think about it"
    Photobucket TTC since 1999. Unexplained Infertility. IUI#1 Oct. 12/11 - BFN IUI#2 - Nov 8 - Failed
    IUI#3 - Jan 6 IVF#1 -5/18 - stims start (225 gonal f, 75 menopur, 5 lupron) ER 5/29 - 14R, 11M, 7F. 6/1 - Transferred 2 8cell embryos (grade 1 and 2). 8dp3dt +HPT, Beta#1 - 92, Beta #2 - 174, Beta#3 - 614, Beta#4 - 2010. 6wk u/s - TWINS! Baby A 114bpm, Baby B 112 bpm Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Snarling FoxSnarling Fox member

    I'm so sorry you have to hear crap like that. 

    imagejessical0604:

    to make this even more annoying this statement came from a girl who JUST TURNED 21 and is pregnant with...wiat for it ladies...her THIRD CHILD all from different fathers and NOT ONE is in the picture GRRRRRRRR 

    And seriously.. from a 21 yr old?!?! 3 kids with 3 different fathers?!?! If you don't smack her, I will for you. Such a waste of fertility!

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  • tryingtostaypositivetryingtostaypositive member
    I've heard this one too many times! I agree how can one relax and not think about it when you have to go in for monitoring appointments, get ultrasounds, get shots etc. 
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  • lady_chance_99lady_chance_99
    It gets better than this though when it is coupled with an anecdote of someone they know who did IVF and everything multiple times and the moment they quit trying... POOF! Pregnant as the day is long and now has three kids... This was from my Aunt the other day... I looked at her and said: unfortunately for me relaxing is not going to make my body ovulate when it doesn't do it on its own, we know because we tried without help for FOUR YEARS prior to seeing an RE... okay vent over... GL
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  • melkel559melkel559 member
    Uggghhh the worst....I work in an inner city school and all-to-often see these unfit mothers with multiple baby-daddys, addicted to crack, abusing/neglecting their children etc & it's then that you think...really?! It's total BS. Sorry :(
    TTC since June 2011
    DX: DH (30) severe MFI, severely low count & low motility
    Me (32): all clear
    Appt with Urologist 5/21/12: exam, ultrasound, bloodwork all normal.
    Testicular Biopsy with TESE on 6/8/12. good sperm found! (left side only) froze sperm, failed thaw test :(
    Orientation for IVF/ICSI on 6/13/12. Waiting for the green light following biopsy results...results show adequate sperm production both sides.
    2nd SA 6/18/12: sample is "adequate for ICSI"
    Plan: IVF/ICSI July 2012!
    ER: 7/26/12. 15 eggs retrieved, all mature.
    TESE/TESA/aspiration from epididymis, no motile sperm found :(
    froze all eggs, the saga of praying for good sperm continues.
    8/3/12: 2nd opinion from MFI uro on biopsy slides. Suspects "partial late maturation arrest."
    Plan: more SAs, third biopsy/TESE with frozen back-up either from DH or DS.
    SA 8/17/12: Zero sperm
    SA 8/23/12: Zero sperm
    9/26/12: SPERM FOUND! 15 eggs thawed, 12 survived and were ICSI'd, only 3 fertilized normally. Refrozen as embies and will thaw in Nov. Please survive and grow!
    All 3 survived the thaw on 11/15/12!
    FET 11/17/12: transferred 2, one 4B, one 4C. Beta 11/30:BFFN
    moving on to DS
    DIUI#1 2/18/13,50mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta 3/4/13: BFN.
    DIUI#2 3/19/13, 50 mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta #1 (14dpiui) 4/2/13: BFP!!!! 150. Beta #2 4/4/13: 420 Beta #3 4/8/13: 2691. Beta #4 4/15/13: 15,086
    1st u/s 4/8/13 shows one gestational sac
    2nd u/s 4/15/13 shows yolk sac, fetal pole and early heartbeat
    3rd u/s 4/25/13: measuring right on track. Heart rate 148 bpm
    A/S 7/22/13: IT'S A BOY!!
    PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome
    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/2qmon5u.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd243/laurakat24/turkeybaster-1.jpg"[/IMG]Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • EnndeaEnndea member
    It ranks right up there with my other favorite:  "It will happen when it's supposed to."  Honestly, one of my friends the other day told me I should start researching my diet and it might help my fertility.  Truthfully, I eat better than virtually everyone I know--and I'm pretty sure no diet in the world has the power to move my ovaries back where they should be and eradicate endometriosis.  I really think comments like this don't come from a 'bad place' but rather--that's all that person has to offer because they just seriously have NO IDEA what it's like.  But sorry you heard it anyway.  I get it.  It sucks.
    TTC #1 since 2/2011. Me: Age 36. Stage III Endo and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.
    IUI #1 March: BFN, IUI #2 April: BFN.
    IVF #1: Started stims 7/30--CANCELLED.
    IVF #1.2: Stims start 10/8/12, ER: 10/20/12; 11R/8M/4F, 5DT: 10/25/12, transfer of a 4AA and 3AB Blast. BFP on HPT 10/31/12; Beta #1: (16 DPO) 954! Beta #2: (18 DPO) 1968! First U/S: TWINS!! A/S: TWO BOYS! EDD: 7/13/13
    PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome.
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  • jessical0604jessical0604
    thanks ladies!! you are all the best and always make me feel better, its always so nice being able to vent to people who can actually relate and sympathize with my annoyance...you all rock <3
    June 2009- Begin TTC November 2011- Laparoscopy to check for endometriosis (normal) HSG to check for clear tubes -(Normal) and hysteroscopy to check uterus (normal) April 2012- AMH checked- (5.8) thyroid and prolactin= normal....internal ultrasound- thin uterin lining indicating issues with ovulation April 2012- Semen Analysis- sperm count of 8
    Report Reply
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