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I'm gonna be "that" mom...

nfrtnynfrtny member
in June 2011 Moms
Im not going to give DS cake at his party *gasp* I know, I'm so cruel. Has anyone else not given LO cake for their party and managed not to catch hell for it from very one? 
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Re: I'm gonna be "that" mom...

  • cvl105cvl105 member
    Can I ask why not?
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  • helenejrhelenejr member
    can i ask why? a little bit of cake won't hurt. And if you are worried about the sugar why not make a healthy option cake with real fruit juice or something instead of processed sugars?
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  • nfrtnynfrtny member
    He's a really bad eater, and he won't feed himself anything but cheerios. He makes a face if he sticks his fingers in anything lol. So, no smash cake. I'm thinking of doing strawberries with some whipped cream or something. I'd rather him have something that's better for him, because it's a struggle to get him to eat food. 
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  • lexusolsenlexusolsen member

    imagecrunchymama11:
    Yeah I'm having a hard time with this as well. I'm not normally a sugar-Nazi but I really don't think DD needs cake, and I really don't want to give it to her. But everyone tells me that I should, it's her birthday, etc. I know all that, but she still seems like a baby to me. I mean, I've given her bites of my sweets, so I'm not opposed to her having SOME sweets. But a whole cupcake seems like a lot for her.

    I understand what you are saying, because we have really limited sweets. Im going to give her a cupcake but don't plan to let her play with it long enough to eat a ton of it.  I think it's up to you as parents to decide what you give your child but you can't expect others to agree with you and you can't control what how they react. I would just not draw much attention to it. When it's time for cake, bring out what ever you are going to give him and proceed as normal. When you get questions, answer them and be firm. Good luck!  

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  • nfrtnynfrtny member

    imagecrunchymama11:
    Yeah I'm having a hard time with this as well. I'm not normally a sugar-Nazi but I really don't think DD needs cake, and I really don't want to give it to her. But everyone tells me that I should, it's her birthday, etc. I know all that, but she still seems like a baby to me. I mean, I've given her bites of my sweets, so I'm not opposed to her having SOME sweets. But a whole cupcake seems like a lot for her.

    I think if you let her eat a whole cupcake she'd puke lol! My biggest concern is that someone will say something snotty about it, and I'll be snotty right back. Doing a smash cake would be a huge fail for us, so I don't really see the point of spoon feeding him cake  

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  • lexusolsenlexusolsen member
    If you dot think he will actually eat it maybe you could just give him a cupcake, let him put his finger in it. You can bring strawberries or whatever to give him after. No need to spoon feed it to him. "yeah, I didn't think he would like it so I brought xyz just in case" no snotty comments :)
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  • JuneBugsMommyJuneBugsMommy member
    imagenfrtny:

    imagecrunchymama11:
    Yeah I'm having a hard time with this as well. I'm not normally a sugar-Nazi but I really don't think DD needs cake, and I really don't want to give it to her. But everyone tells me that I should, it's her birthday, etc. I know all that, but she still seems like a baby to me. I mean, I've given her bites of my sweets, so I'm not opposed to her having SOME sweets. But a whole cupcake seems like a lot for her.

    I think if you let her eat a whole cupcake she'd puke lol! My biggest concern is that someone will say something snotty about it, and I'll be snotty right back. Doing a smash cake would be a huge fail for us, so I don't really see the point of spoon feeding him cake  

    I have no intention of spoon feeding DS his cake. Whatever he eats while he's "smashing" it will be all he gets. I guess I don't really see the point of not letting your DS have cake because he's a bad eater?
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  • MrsPBNJ0220MrsPBNJ0220
    I can tell you first hand, we did a smash cake and although he did not eat a single bite of it, it was so worth it with the photos.  With that being said, it's up to each set of parents.  You do need to be prepared to get comments, because a smash cake or cupcake is like a right of passage to most people, so I would prepare yourself with a kinder way of responding.  You don't want to turn you DS birthday party into an arguement over a cake because everyone starts being snotty.  Just saying be prepared and try to be the bigger person if people do get snotty.
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  • mamarazzi528mamarazzi528 member

    imageMrsPBNJ0220:
    I can tell you first hand, we did a smash cake and although he did not eat a single bite of it, it was so worth it with the photos.  With that being said, it's up to each set of parents.  You do need to be prepared to get comments, because a smash cake or cupcake is like a right of passage to most people, so I would prepare yourself with a kinder way of responding.  You don't want to turn you DS birthday party into an arguement over a cake because everyone starts being snotty.  Just saying be prepared and try to be the bigger person if people do get snotty.

    Yes  Same here.  That's what I figured would happen, so we just got her a cupcake.    

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  • cassoppeacassoppea
    We are definitely in the "let them eat cake" camp but we just never even thought of doing a smash cake at her party! We had a lot of people and she was dressed nicely and I honestly didn't even think of it. She was given birthday cake off of a spoon while everyone else ate. So we did an informal one on her actual birthday at home with just me, DH and her. I think it's your own choice whether you do a smash cake and whether or not you for your kid cake. Who cares what other people think - I think if you don't make a big deal of it no one will notice
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  • MammaBear81MammaBear81 member
    imageJuneBugsMommy:
    imagenfrtny:

    imagecrunchymama11:

    I have no intention of spoon feeding DS his cake. Whatever he eats while he's "smashing" it will be all he gets. I guess I don't really see the point of not letting your DS have cake because he's a bad eater?

    I agree with this, you can offer it to him and if he doesn't eat it, so what?! and if he does eat it,great! It's not going to make him any worse of an eater if he eats a piece of cake.

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  • nfrtnynfrtny member
    imageMammaBear81:
    imageJuneBugsMommy:
    imagenfrtny:

    imagecrunchymama11:

    I have no intention of spoon feeding DS his cake. Whatever he eats while he's "smashing" it will be all he gets. I guess I don't really see the point of not letting your DS have cake because he's a bad eater?

    I agree with this, you can offer it to him and if he doesn't eat it, so what?! and if he does eat it,great! It's not going to make him any worse of an eater if he eats a piece of cake.

    Its not that I think it'll change his eating habits forever, it's that he barely eats during the day, so what he does eat I'd rather it be something nutritious. Seriously, if he has three bites of cake that will be all he would eat for lunch. He had three bites of a banana today and he was finished :/ 

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  • MammaBear81MammaBear81 member
    imagenfrtny:
    imageMammaBear81:
    imageJuneBugsMommy:
    imagenfrtny:

    imagecrunchymama11:

    I have no intention of spoon feeding DS his cake. Whatever he eats while he's "smashing" it will be all he gets. I guess I don't really see the point of not letting your DS have cake because he's a bad eater?

    I agree with this, you can offer it to him and if he doesn't eat it, so what?! and if he does eat it,great! It's not going to make him any worse of an eater if he eats a piece of cake.

    Its not that I think it'll change his eating habits forever, it's that he barely eats during the day, so what he does eat I'd rather it be something nutritious. Seriously, if he has three bites of cake that will be all he would eat for lunch. He had three bites of a banana today and he was finished :/ 

    Again, my point is it's one day (one meal actually).  DS had 103 fever on Sunday and all he had were bottles of Almond Milk, which is good for a drink, but not for his only food intake, but for one day, he's not going to suffer.  He was happy (as happy as a baby with a high fever can be), and he didn't vomit all day.  I'd be concerned if that was all he would eat/drink for 2 or more days.  If you don't want to give him cake, that's fine, he's your child, just don't try to justify it to people.

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  • MammaBear81MammaBear81 member
    imagenfrtny:
    imageMammaBear81:
    imageJuneBugsMommy:
    imagenfrtny:

    imagecrunchymama11:

    I have no intention of spoon feeding DS his cake. Whatever he eats while he's "smashing" it will be all he gets. I guess I don't really see the point of not letting your DS have cake because he's a bad eater?

    I agree with this, you can offer it to him and if he doesn't eat it, so what?! and if he does eat it,great! It's not going to make him any worse of an eater if he eats a piece of cake.

    Its not that I think it'll change his eating habits forever, it's that he barely eats during the day, so what he does eat I'd rather it be something nutritious. Seriously, if he has three bites of cake that will be all he would eat for lunch. He had three bites of a banana today and he was finished :/ 

    Again, my point is it's one day (one meal actually).  DS had 103 fever on Sunday and all he had were bottles of Almond Milk, which is good for a drink, but not for his only food intake, but for one day, he's not going to suffer.  He was happy (as happy as a baby with a high fever can be), and he didn't vomit all day.  I'd be concerned if that was all he would eat/drink for 2 or more days.  If you don't want to give him cake, that's fine, he's your child, just don't try to justify it to people.

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  • 11kacey11kacey member
    imagenfrtny:

    imagecrunchymama11:
    Yeah I'm having a hard time with this as well. I'm not normally a sugar-Nazi but I really don't think DD needs cake, and I really don't want to give it to her. But everyone tells me that I should, it's her birthday, etc. I know all that, but she still seems like a baby to me. I mean, I've given her bites of my sweets, so I'm not opposed to her having SOME sweets. But a whole cupcake seems like a lot for her.

    I think if you let her eat a whole cupcake she'd puke lol! My biggest concern is that someone will say something snotty about it, and I'll be snotty right back. Doing a smash cake would be a huge fail for us, so I don't really see the point of spoon feeding him cake  

    You never know, the sugar on the icing might make him try and eat more! :) 

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  • jen&jay07jen&jay07
    I don't think I would ever be snotty to someone if they chose not to give cake. I figure to each their own. Personally, we will give DS cake. Either a cupcake of small cake. I don't know how much he will eat. I'm sure he will play with it alot. It's going to make for some great pictures. I'm not worried since it's not like we are going to give him cake every day.
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