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June 2012 Moms
chicagocubsfan23
member
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Would this bother you?
chicagocubsfan23
member
My mom lives in Alabama and has been going through her midlife crisis for oh about 8 years now. She left my dad a few years ago and since then she's gotten worse. Sometimes I feel like I'm the mom and she's the daughter. She's always telling me about her drinking and partying and going to strip clubs... Anyways, while she is excited about being a grandma she says she is too young and told me when she is around LO she is going to call herself Bama Mama. I told her I was ok with Nana or something like that that still means Grandma but isn't Grandma, and she refuses to be referred to as a grandma. I feel like I should be the only one LO refers to as Mom, Mommy, Mama... Would it bother you or am I just being overly emotional?
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Re: Would this bother you?
Thanks! Sometimes I think I overreact to small things, but I didn't call my grandparents Mom or Mama and I feel like it's kind of crappy for her to want my son to call her Mama
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"Mama" would totally be out of line, with me. It would bother me a lot.
I'd recommend trying to find some other nicknames, though, that you both might be comfortable with. Our LO isn't going to have any "Grandma"s... each of them has their own nickname that has a unique story behind it, partially because none of them wants to be Grandma, and I'm actually really happy with that. DH's mother is GaYa (developed from previous grandchildren), my mom is Ninna (nickname from one of her young nieces), and my birthmom is CeeCee (nickname from some of her childhood friends).
She has my cousin's kids call her Aunt Mia (since she's their great aunt, where she got Mia I don't know...) So I suggested maybe Mia, but she said if we went that route then he'd have to call her Aunt Mia, and she's not his Aunt so I don't think I like that either. I feel like if she doesn't get her way she's going to throw a hissy fit but this is something I'm not willing to give in on.
DD - Lucia Alessandra 6/18/12 ~~~ Welcoming Baby Boy!! - 3/26/14
DH calls his mom by her first name. It's actually one of the only things that bothers me, I don't know why. He says his mom doesn't call him son so why should he call her mom (he says it in a completely joking manner he's not being a jerk at all when he says it) but I told him he needs to start calling her mom because LO is not going to get away with calling me by my first name
I like that I'm definitely going to suggest it!
I don't think you're being silly. My dad's mom also thought she was too young to be called grandma, and so as children my siblings and I all called her by her first name. Ironically, years later, she decided she wanted to be called Grandma and was upset because we all continued to refer to her by her first name.
Don?t worry your child may end up choosing the name anyway. My mom wanted grammie and DD started calling her mommoo, which is strange because that was my great-grandmother?s name and we never said it around DD, MIL wanted grandmom and DD calls her mom mom.
What about Baba (as opposed to Bama mamma)?
I also don't really have a problem with mamma (cultural thing maybe), but that's because OH's grandmother is 'mamma', but it turns out that my girls just call his mom gramma and their great-grandmother has retained the title 'mamma'.
I am not mamma - as I don't like that (personal thing, but my mom also didn't like us calling her mamma either, mom/mommy were fine), so we've always just gone with mom or mommy.
I'll probably just call myself Mom or Mommy around LO also, but to me Mama is a form of Mom so it just bothers me that my mom wants LO to call her that. Growing up both my grandmas were Grandma, and DH's family is the same way. Nobody in either of our families has every been called anything but Grandma
You're probably overthinking this. How often are you really going to see your Mom? Your LO won't be calling her anything for the next 2 years. And then, he/she will call her what you call her or what they can say.
I think you just always refer to her as G'ma or MiMa or something like that. It will stick with your LO, then your Mom won't have a choice.
What about just "Bama"?
You're right! I think it's just because of everything else going on in my head right now that it's really getting to me.
It annoys me when grandparents say they don't 'feel' old enough to be a grandparent and want a different name. Grandparent is the title you earn when your 'baby' has a baby. I've taught students from age 2 to 18, and I've met many grandparents along the way and heard stories about many, many more. Bama Mama is by far the silliest name I've heard yet. (so, thanks go out to your mom for making me snort with laughter)
Your mom can sign the greeting cards 'Bama Mama' every holiday from now until eternity, but that doesn't mean that your baby will call her that. I wouldn't spend any time worrying about her desired nickname now. Your mom will be wrapping up her decade of mid-life crisis by the time baby is calling her by name anyway - maybe she'll have grown up by then.
My fiance's mother wanted to be called the same thing. I put the kibosh on that. I had him tell her that she can be anything she wants, as long as there's no way it sounds like a name for a mother.