Secondary IF
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people saying "so when are you going to have another"

Our son is 18 months old and people are now starting to really ask when we are having another baby.  Some people even say things like "you don't want your kids too far apart or they will never be close" or other really hurtful things since we have been trying for over a year.  I always just say "we're working on it" with a smile, but it just makes me want to scream and smack them! I really just need to vent, but what do you say to people like that?

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Re: people saying "so when are you going to have another"

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    I say we're thinking about it.  And then I try to change the subject.  It's hard because people assume if you have a kid already that it must be easy to get pg. 

    Sometimes if I know the person well enough I say "it took us a really long time to get Katie, so it will probably take us a long time to get her a sibling" and then they feel like an a-hole for asking!  Ha!

     

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    I smack them upside the head!!!

     

    No, seriously, I just smile and say hopefully soon or something along those lines.  If someone is seriously rude, I tell them f--k off (in my mind that is, lol) and say 'if only it was that easy' 

    Good luck.  People can be really stupid sometimes.

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    I hate that question too.  I try to ignore it or change the subject.  I really want to say, "we'll we'd like to, but I keep m/c'ing our babies".  Then they will feel like a total a-hole, but I never have the guts to say things like that.
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    I came on here to lurk.  I had secondary IF.  Our oldest and our twins are almost 8 years apart.  I get and did get comments.  I responded with "We're having problems.  Do you want to show us how it's done?"  It usually shut people up.  When I get comments now I respond with "Not for a lack of trying>"
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      I mostly say "ah, who knows" and try to move on.   Hate hate that question.
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    Ugh, well I hate that question too. I usually say, "when God gives us one" or "well, we've been trying and hoping, so we'll see." and leave it at that.
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    My favorite response is "Well my husband and I are having TONS of crazy unprotected sex and nothing so far! Any suggestions?" They usually look stupified and then smile and walk away. I used that after I got sick of people asking when we were trying for our first. I tried the nicities like "When God blesses us..." or "Soon". The former comment felt much better to say, honestly! 
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    yeah, everyone is trying to guess when right now at DH's family reunion.  I just say I dunno this one is a brat Wink  No one knows that we have been TTC so it is nice to keep them off the trail. 
    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
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    Hi, ladies. I've been lurking for a while but this is my first post.  This question is exactly why I am dreading Thanksgiving at my mothers house today.  A whole bunch of people with a whole bunch of kids who mean well, but who I really just want to punch in the nose. :)  Uh oh,  this doesn't bode well for my angermanagement today.
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    I used to be honest and say "as soon as the fertility treatments work" - everyone shut up and stopped asking.
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    Depends on the person and how rude they were (and how much I want to make them feel bad.)  I like the "as soon as the fertility treatments work." answer
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