Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
sgrl
member
Re: First post - Bird's nest custody arrangment?
LMAO! Yes, that's me. I'm posting about this all over the internet, trying to see if somebody somewhere has actually successfully done this! If you don't mind to PM me over there, that would be great. My username there ends with the letter N, just so you can know you're looking at the right post.
Thank you.
We are doing a version of this, and have been for the past 4 months. I moved into my parents house and he stays at the family-home with the children(because he could afford the rent without me). The kids stay the night at my parents with me on Friday nights. Saturday nights, I sleep at my ex's. I feel they are too young to spend the night away from their home more than once a week but it's a constant battle with my ex about this arrangement. He's such an a-hole about it because it's "his house" and he's "letting me" stay there. That's really our only issue with the arrangement.
He has them Sunday-Thursday nights(All day and night Monday/Tuesday), I have them Friday/Saturday/Sunday until he's off work. I also take care of them Wed/Thurs during the day while he's at work. Our arrangement works because neither of us pays the other child support and we both have equal time with them. This will probably change soon, though. He's crying about not getting enough free time and the only thing I have to counter with is that I don't work Wed/Thurs so that he can and if he's going to be an ass, he needs to find a sitter for those days. It's a bigggggg ol mess:(
Hopefully you and your ex can be mature and civil about it. My ex and I apparently can't!
Thank you so much for your reply, purrrfect! I'm sorry he's being such an ass about it. I hope you guys are able to work something out, and he realizes that he should CHERISH the time he has with his kids!
We had kind of dropped the idea thinking it was going to be too hard, but he's going to be staying in the house until it sells, while I get an apartment. We just talked today about filing a parenting plan that just spells out the 2-2-3 plan we agreed to, and doing the nesting thing unofficially until the D is final. We're getting along great now, but I know that that can unfortunately change at any moment. If we start off doing nesting and it's just not working, we can always just revert back to what's in the agreement, and she'll stay with me in my apt. when it's my time and at the house with him when it's his time.
Your STBX sounds a lot like mine. He told me he couldn't be himself with me around. And apparently being himself included flirting with every woman in sight. So glad to be away from that.
I think that is great that you are going to try that out. In my situation that never would have worked bcuz I loved my ex so much I couldn't bear to watch him walk out the door every night. I never really understood how that would work because eventually you will want to date again and if he's anything like my ex he will be dating the minute you split. In that case it seems like it would get very complicated.
To me I think another option would be for you guys to live very close by eachother and each have a room for your daughter.
Honestly once the family splits up I don't think there is any easy solution. I think no matter what it will be hard on the kids. Good Luck!