is anyone else terrified of multiples?

lily_721 · June 2012

I know I shoudn't be worried about multiples when I haven't been able to even have one... Its been an ongoing fear for years. I have so many lengthy conversations with my RE and her nurses about this.

I am going to start our medications/IUI next month. I can't decide which to do. DH and RE both are in favor of the IUI but I'm so afraid of multiples that I haven't scheduled it. I know I'm significantly decreasing my chances by doing nothing when I could be increasing the chances for one child by just doing something.

notquiteblushing · June 2012

Yes I can totally understand that feeling. My RE said I can do a single embryo transfer if we ever get to the IVF stage but alas we're not there yet. I'm mostly afraid of the complications of a multiple pregnancy. I *think* I could handle twin infants but who knows. I've never had one! My doc did assure me that 90% of IUIs done in his office resulted in singletons.

Suz+Mo · June 2012

I'm nervous about multiples, but I wouldn't say terrified. If you are getting the proper monitoring then you will eliminate most of the risks for high order multiples. So it's just the risk of twins or maybe trips that would still be there. Although they do sound like a handful, I think I'll be able to make it just fine if that's how it works out.

When you talk to your RE does she talk through the percent chances of multiples? For me, knowing that getting triplets was X percent chance and getting twins was Y percent change, it helped me not freak out as much.

lily_721 · June 2012

RE has been great. She said with monitoring, we can make the most educated decision and skip cycles if neccessary. She has said IVF would give her the most control. I'm not ready for IVF yet.

jakraft837 · June 2012

DH and i discussed and I was really nervous about the possibility of this happening. However, personally, for us, the more we discussed it, i think the more we are okay with the idea.

Deep down i have to admit, now im thinking it would be pretty awesome to have multiples! LOL

But i'll honestly just be happy with one! Big Smile

CousinVicki · June 2012

an IUI alone doesn't increase your chance of multiples.

mommabachman2 · June 2012

OH YEAH!! Not only do we have the concern of getting multiples thru treatment, we also run the risk of twins on both sides of our family. My husbands mother is a twin, she had twins at 38, three of my husbands brothers have twins.....nervous as heck!!

Rvnsgrl81 · June 2012

The idea used to scare me, but as this process goes on, the more I want twins. It is also on my side of the family pretty strong. I would be ok with twins, well I think, don't have one to base anything off of, but I think we could manage!

Hinessn · June 2012

Personally I would love twins. Triplets? I dont know about that! My RE approached the topic with us a few months ago when he suggested IVF. I'm a very petite person so we doubt my body could actually handle anything more tripletts, and even then it would be dicey. But if your doctor knows what he's/she's doing then I really wouldnt worry about it. I would never let it stop me from treatments. I knew that in the very beginning. Just being on Clomid increasing your chances, let alone adding injects or anything else.

Neesey · June 2012

A friend of mine had twins after clomid. As she put it, she doesn't know anything different so it has actually been easier than she thought it would be. After hearing that I wasn't as scared.

FutureMrsTowns · June 2012

I would say I'm concerned, not terrified.

I was talking to my dad about Clomid when I went on it, and I was like blah blah blah, yeah, it increases the chance of twinning by 15%... he was like "so, you ready for twins, 15% is a lot" and I was like.. "what? No"....

I think we could handle twins though, more than that would be a challenge though!

DebateThis · June 2012

mommabachman2:
OH YEAH!! Not only do we have the concern of getting multiples thru treatment, we also run the risk of twins on both sides of our family. My husbands mother is a twin, she had twins at 38, three of my husbands brothers have twins.....nervous as heck!!

Oh my god. Please learn something about how twins happen.

Nothing about your husband's family's genetics can cause you to ovulate more than one egg.

ETA: OP, of course we're all concerned about multiples. However, the vast majority of REs consider a multiples pregnancy not a good outcome and they work very hard at making sure you are not taking risks that will get you twins or higher numbers of babies in one pregnancy. Explain your fears to your RE and BEFORE YOU TRIGGER have a serious discussion about how many follies you would be uncomfortable with. For me/DH, we decided we won't trigger with more than two mature follies, but that's due to some other underlying health concerns - my RE wholly supports this plan.

And MrsTowns, a 15% chance of twins from an unmonitored Clomid cycle IS significantly higher than the average population. Spontaneous twins occur at around a rate of 2% in the US. I'm sure you can do the math on that one.

FutureMrsTowns · June 2012

DebateThis:
And MrsTowns, a 15% chance of twins from an unmonitored Clomid cycle IS significantly higher than the average population. Spontaneous twins occur at around a rate of 2% in the US. I'm sure you can do the math on that one.

never said it wasn't an increased chance, just was saying I wasn't planning on having twins, if it happens it happens, but that isn't the plan

FutureMrsTowns · June 2012

DebateThis:
mommabachman2:
OH YEAH!! Not only do we have the concern of getting multiples thru treatment, we also run the risk of twins on both sides of our family. My husbands mother is a twin, she had twins at 38, three of my husbands brothers have twins.....nervous as heck!!
Oh my god. Please learn something about how twins happen.

but it can cause an increase in chances for identical. meaning she has an increased chance of both kinds with treatment.

DebateThis · June 2012

FutureMrsTowns:
DebateThis:
mommabachman2:
OH YEAH!! Not only do we have the concern of getting multiples thru treatment, we also run the risk of twins on both sides of our family. My husbands mother is a twin, she had twins at 38, three of my husbands brothers have twins.....nervous as heck!!
Oh my god. Please learn something about how twins happen.

but it can cause an increase in chances for identical. meaning she has an increased chance of both kinds with treatment.

You have missed my point entirely, and you are also wrong. Clomid/ovarian stimulation drugs used only with an IUI or TI increase the likelihood of fraternal twins bc the drugs cause you to ovulate more than one egg at one time.

IVF can increase your likelihood of identical twins. IUI does not.

None of this is impacted at ALL by the father's family having a boatload of twins.

Juicy71 · June 2012

I would say that if I found out I was having triplets or more, I would be terrified, but in general, I'm not terrified of the possibility of it as I just think that the chances are so low (my RE said less than 1% chance of triplets or more). During my first IUI cycle, I got a little excited about the idea of twins just because we are probably only going to have one shot at this whole getting pregnant thing so it would be great to get two babies out of it, but after getting a BFN, now I'm just focused on trying to get one baby. At our office they said there's about a 6% chance of twins with medicated IUI.

JBDamonM · June 2012

I am only afraid of them for financial reasons. I honestly don't know how we'd handle the double cost of everything - but I"m sure somehow we'd figure it out!

Other than that I'd be fine with it!

DebateThis · June 2012

JBDamonM:
I am only afraid of them for financial reasons. I honestly don't know how we'd handle the double cost of everything - but I"m sure somehow we'd figure it out!

Other than that I'd be fine with it!

No kidding! If we had twins, our daycare costs would be $3420 per month. It's about $1800/month for a singleton and then they're "nice" and give you a 10% discount on a second kid.

arbutusbride · June 2012

I would say I was more concerned rather than terrified. We agreed that twins would be manageable while anything more than that would be scary. My last RE was very concerned about multiples so he has strict policy about # of embryos that are transferred, mainly based on age. Since I am 32, he wouldn't do more than two.

mnj05 · June 2012

FutureMrsTowns:
DebateThis:

mommabachman2:
OH YEAH!! Not only do we have the concern of getting multiples thru treatment, we also run the risk of twins on both sides of our family. My husbands mother is a twin, she had twins at 38, three of my husbands brothers have twins.....nervous as heck!!

Oh my god. Please learn something about how twins happen.

but it can cause an increase in chances for identical. meaning she has an increased chance of both kinds with treatment.

The genetics involving twins is passed down from the mother's side, not the father's side. So if there are twins on your mother's side, you have a slightly higher risk of having twins.

My mom is a twin, my grandmother had twin uncles, and they had twin great uncles. I have a risk of twins based on that alone, but I don't mind it. I've been around babies my entire life and even babysat twin girls from the time they were 3 months old until they got into jr. high. I've even had four infants at one time, many times throughout my life. Multiples are not a scary thought for me.

Blsd4given · June 2012

jakraft837:

DH and i discussed and I was really nervous about the possibility of this happening. However, personally, for us, the more we discussed it, i think the more we are okay with the idea.

Deep down i have to admit, now im thinking it would be pretty awesome to have multiples! LOL

But i'll honestly just be happy with one!

This exactly. Smile

MsGMChick · June 2012

DebateThis:
FutureMrsTowns:
DebateThis:
mommabachman2:
OH YEAH!! Not only do we have the concern of getting multiples thru treatment, we also run the risk of twins on both sides of our family. My husbands mother is a twin, she had twins at 38, three of my husbands brothers have twins.....nervous as heck!!
Oh my god. Please learn something about how twins happen.

but it can cause an increase in chances for identical. meaning she has an increased chance of both kinds with treatment.
You have missed my point entirely, and you are also wrong. Clomid/ovarian stimulation drugs used only with an IUI or TI increase the likelihood of fraternal twins bc the drugs cause you to ovulate more than one egg at one time.
IVF can increase your likelihood of identical twins. IUI does not.
None of this is impacted at ALL by the father's family having a boatload of twins.

I love you. Aside from that, you are correct.

Some people, ::coughmrstownsandmommabachcough::, need to go back to biology.

Svenny1011 · June 2012

I've thought of this a lot in the past few months. I'm totally on board with twins, and so is DH. I'd be done after that though.

DH's best friend's wife is expecting twins in July, after Clomid + IUI. Apparently they had triplets, but they lost the 3rd one very early on. Not sure if it matters, but it wasn't her that had the "issues" - he had low motility. Would that make for higher chance of multiples - if the woman already ovulated on her own and quite well, that the Clomid just made her eggs go bananas? I don't know, just throwing that out there - I really know nothing about all this! Anyway, triplets would terrify me - I couldn't imagine caring for 3 newborns.

knoll · June 2012

We have discussed this and I would love to have multiples. The trouble I am having to get to that point it would be great if we had two even three to be done and not have to go through this again!

ksfrye · June 2012

I'm not for twins, but DH is. Be both think anything over twins would be really scary. I would obviously worry about the physical aspect to two babies because many medical issues can occur. But I also believe everything happens for a reason...

amd1982 · June 2012

***TICKER WARNING***

I hope you don't mind me jumping in here, but as I was lurking and saw the title of this post, I felt compelled to read more.

DH and I did a Clomid + trigger + timed intercourse cycle. We had 4 mature follicles, two on each side, however we already planned on timed intercourse since we did not have MFI. The nurse reassured me that although they would never have us "try" with anything higher than that, that 4 mature follicles doesn't mean 4 mature eggs. We did get pregnant with twins that cycle, and they are most definitely fraternal.

As for the rest of the discussion, yes we're a little overwhelmed. But we're overjoyed that we were finally successful. And we feel like if 2 miracles were meant to happen, then so be it. Unfortunately many women experience "vanishing twin" and have one baby. I feel like whatever happens happens, and whether it's one, two or three I wish you all the best luck in the world. I'm cheering for my 3T'rs.

DebateThis · June 2012

knoll:
We have discussed this and I would love to have multiples. The trouble I am having to get to that point it would be great if we had two even three to be done and not have to go through this again!

I see this sentiment a lot and it really bothers me. I've been thinking about how best to word this, and I can't really think of a better way. I realize that all of us would do ANYTHING to have children (this is potentially flammable) but I do not think we should go to such lengths that it will be at the expense of the children we're trying to create.

It sounds terrific to get a 2 or 3 for one shot at parenthood, but when that 2 or 3 for one results in premature birth, ROP, lifelong heart and lung problems, learning disabilities, cerebral palsy, hundreds of thousands of dollars in NICU bills and weeks and weeks of time in the NICU, many surgeries, and even death - it just doesn't sit well with me. I really hate seeing this sentiment bc it totally diminishes exactly how dangerous a multiples pregnancy can be. The goal of infertility treatments is ONE baby per pregnancy, for the health of both mom and baby. We should all be pushing for that goal. HOM can be manageable, yes. But it's definitely not something to be taken lightly and especially not something to hope for or push for.

And knoll, please don't think this is directed at only you - I've actually been mulling over it for like a week since I saw a poster on IF who triggered for an IUI with 6 or more mature follies.

blu-gsgyrl · June 2012

Twins run in my family so I know I can handle it...anything more than that I would def get worried!

Killer Tomato · June 2012

DebateThis:
knoll:
We have discussed this and I would love to have multiples. The trouble I am having to get to that point it would be great if we had two even three to be done and not have to go through this again!
I see this sentiment a lot and it really bothers me. I've been thinking about how best to word this, and I can't really think of a better way. I realize that all of us would do ANYTHING to have children (this is potentially flammable) but I do not think we should go to such lengths that it will be at the expense of the children we're trying to create.
It sounds terrific to get a 2 or 3 for one shot at parenthood, but when that 2 or 3 for one results in premature birth, ROP, lifelong heart and lung problems, learning disabilities, cerebral palsy, hundreds of thousands of dollars in NICU bills and weeks and weeks of time in the NICU, many surgeries, and even death - it just doesn't sit well with me. I really hate seeing this sentiment bc it totally diminishes exactly how dangerous a multiples pregnancy can be. The goal of infertility treatments is ONE baby per pregnancy, for the health of both mom and baby. We should all be pushing for that goal. HOM can be manageable, yes. But it's definitely not something to be taken lightly and especially not something to hope for or push for.
And knoll, please don't think this is directed at only you - I've actually been mulling over it for like a week since I saw a poster on IF who triggered for an IUI with 6 or more mature follies.

I often think this as well. From an after birth, everyone is healthy standpoint, I think I would love twins, but the additional risks scare me. The risks of HOM REALLY scare me for pregnancy and baby complications. I am not sure I could go through with selective reduction, and hope I never have to find out.

My first IUI, I was SO worried about multiples. Now, after 3 bfns, I think I am losing faith that one will work, let alone three!

Lightdrwr · June 2012

Multiples were definitely a concern for us but we took the chance. There were two IUI cycles that I had 4 follicles and still, no pregnancy. If we move on with IVF, we will only transfer 1 embryo. With proper monitoring, you should be okay. Best of luck to you!

katib77 · June 2012

I do not have a fear of twins. Probably because I *know* so many ladies from this board that I became e-friends with that now have one year old twins. And I've seen how it's tough but at the same time, do-able and totally worth it.

I am afraid of triplets. The only gal from 3T that I *know* that had trips was Glow and while it's super tough, I'm sure (and from what I've read on her blog)...she is still surviving.

*Edit to add: as Debate said, I would not want multiples on purpose due to the health risks both to me and the babies. But I understand with treatments it's more likely, so I have faced the fear and accepted what I am afraid of. When I say I am not afraid of twins, I mean...once they are born healthy. As an IF'er I think all of us will be fearful during PG, no matter if one, two or more.

MrsZ816 · June 2012

I am terrified of being pregnant with twins (or more) because of the risks, but I am not afraid of raising multiples. I figure if my mom did it then I could do it... and I won't already have one like she did! I am 2 1/2 years older than my sisters who are fraternal twins.

Blueyed228 · June 2012

Im not terrified. I would be worried about the pregnancy the whole time and go into it knowing that there is an increase chance of problems, but I think we can handle it. We have a great support system, I wont have to work, etc.

However, I have done IUI's with multiple follies and transfered 2 embryos with my IVF and have only been pregnant with 1. So I doubt we are at risk for them.

maggie2324 · June 2012

Not terrified, no. I would be happy to raise any and all babies I get blessed with. I'm not scared of the small chance of multiples we have, so we are planning on transferring 3 at the next IVF. If I hit the lottery and all 3 stick, then I would be scared about the health risks. No sense worrying before it happens though. We will manage regardless of what happens. I am terrified of a BFN though.

lesleyzeb · June 2012

Initially, yes, but then I thought "then I wouldn't have to go through all this again!" LOL At my first monitoring appointment, there were 4 follicles (3 significantly smaller than the one big one though) and I discovered that MH got really nervous anytime I joked about having quadruplets. That was sort of fun to do all weekend. =D At this point I'm over it and we'll take what we get! I say that meaning no Jon & Kate Plus 8 of course ....

knoll · June 2012

katib77:
I do not have a fear of twins. Probably because I *know* so many ladies from this board that I became e-friends with that now have one year old twins. And I've seen how it's tough but at the same time, do-able and totally worth it.
I am afraid of triplets. The only gal from 3T that I *know* that had trips was Glow and while it's super tough, I'm sure (and from what I've read on her blog)...she is still surviving.
*Edit to add: as Debate said, I would not want multiples on purpose due to the health risks both to me and the babies. But I understand with treatments it's more likely, so I have faced the fear and accepted what I am afraid of. When I say I am not afraid of twins, I mean...once they are born healthy. As an IF'er I think all of us will be fearful during PG, no matter if one, two or more.

I feel this way exactly. God doesn't give you more than you can handle and I feel I will get however many kids he has planned for me in whatever order or whatever time he feels. I feel that we can financially handle it if it comes. I understand debate this point as well. I do not wish it but will take what I can get.

I am overweight and have enough concerns with getting pregnant but I will face whatever comes my way head on and strong!!

No personal feelings here.. we all have opinions.. thats what makes this fun!

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