Qs about the sleep lady shuffle (token?)

Athena0809 · June 2012

So I received great advise from you ladies for a more gentle way to sleep train my one year old and it's working...well, sorta. The Dr. Gordon night weaning is slowly working he can just roll over and fall asleep without being so demanding about the boob and he's starting to have longer stretches, just by a little, but I'll take it. I also started trying the sleep lady shuffle to get him to go to bed, which is working...sorta. There hasn't been much crying aside from the first night (which was only about 20 min) the next couple nights I soothe him by patting or rubbing his back intermittently but let him fall asleep on his own, the problem now is it takes for ever! the sleep lady says not to get into a power struggle and not to force them to lay down. Well, for some reason now he thinks it's play time, the last couple nights he fell asleep past 10 pm last night at 11 pm! his bedtime--nurse to sleep, was 8 or 8:30. And I know he is sleepy I can see it in his eyes, I picked him tonight to change his diaper because he pooped, ugh, and as soon as I did he placed his bed on my shoulder and closed his eyes he was barely awake while I changed him yet as soon put him in his crib he was wide wake playing with his feet, chatting with his glow seahorse or sitting up and standing up cruising all over...until he finally rolled over and closed his eyes!

So, am I supposed to let him fall asleep as late as slong as he does it on his own? He clearly doesn't need me to fall asleep anymore, but I don't want him to think crib=play time either. Anyone with a similar experience? What did you do? What should I do? TIA

missisue · June 2012

We had a very similar issue with the sleep lady shuffle. The first step (right next to the crib) worked like a dream, but I never could move on the next steps. I spent a month or so laying next to her crib with my hand next to her while she fell asleep, but if she was awake when I tried to sit farther away from the crib, she just got more and more upset. I think she was upset that she could see me but I wasn't comforting her.

So, one night, I did our bedtime routine (books, jammies, rock/nurse), kissed her good night, put her in the crib and ran for the door. She cried for a minute, minute and half, and then just magically laid down and fell asleep. I guess it means that my LO found me to be too much of a distraction to settle down, but once I was gone, she was able to figure it out. Might be worth a try, since your LO has shown that he can fall asleep in his crib.

tokenhoser · June 2012

Honestly, I also find Owen does worse if I try to stay. I suggested it because you asked for "gentle" solutions and it is more gentle in philosophy than Ferber... but I read her book a week or two ago, and even the Sleep Lady acknowledges that some kids will find the presence of a parent stimulating and may go to sleep faster if you leave. Now that you know he CAN do it, you might want to see how he does with some intervals alone.

We're just in survival mode until July when DH is off for the summer, and then we will probably get more serious and do night weaning and either Ferber or (gasp) extinction. I'm tired. I go to full time hours in July. I want to want another baby. Something needs to change.

Athena0809 · June 2012

Thank you both for your input. I think I'll try leaving him alone I just didn't want him falling asleep so late but maybe if I'm not in there with him (no distraction) he might settle sooner.

Token, I hear ya on the being tired part! Ive gotten to the point where my health and my sanity are suffering. If there is one thing I've learned during our sleep woes-- and you know this has been going on since uh, forever, is that no one method is best and no two kids are alike. But importantly not to judge the parents! I wish you luck and let me know what works for you! :-s

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