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Baby Showers
bullybutt
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Shower Etiquette and infants??
bullybutt
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in Baby Showers
I am a FTM and this is my first baby shower. My SIL is asking to bring her 8 month old son to the shower (but her hubby can watch him if need be). What are the rules or etiquette around bringing infants to a baby shower?
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Re: Shower Etiquette and infants??
My rule of thumb is if the hostess invited DS and there will be other children there, he can come.
Honestly? Chasing him around at a shower is so not relaxing at all, LOL
I would leave this one up to your hostess. I think it's kind of rude for your SIL to even ask, but who knows.
To add - 8 months isn't an "infant". An infant who is still SO young that they are only nursing are an easy exception to make. But an 8 month old? Not so much.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This.
At 8 months old, my DS would have spent the entire time trying to get down and crawl away. He was no longer content to be held for hours at a time. Depending on where this is being held, it may not be a good venue for a baby.
I don't know official etiquette, but my personal rule is if a child can be kept seated and quiet (either young enough to be held/sleep the whole time or old enough to know how to behave), it's ok. Older babies and toddlers require too much distraction and would cause a disruption and should not be taken.
This isn't the point, but I kind of disagree, I would call that a newborn
And I EBF DS until 6.5 months but don't know that I would have called him a newborn past 3 months, but he definitely wasn't a "toddler" until he started walking, which was around 15 months.
I guess this is all relative, lol.
I had no problems pumping and doing stuff with my friends without him after 2 months or so.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I can. If children are invited, they're invited - bring him. If they're not, you either get a baby sitter or you stay home with your child and don't go. I doubt her leaving her child alone with his father, baby-sitter, etc. for 2-3 hours is going to be the end of the world for him.
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
Really? The world does not revolve around you and your baby. If my son isn't invited somewhere, I leave him at home or with a sitter. My son isn't even 7 months old yet, and can't sit still that long, I can't imagine him in another month and a half. It would be rude and disruptive to have him at someone else's event without their expressed invitation.
Have you never left your child for a few hours to go do something? If so, that isn't healthy for you OR the baby.
8 months old is a pretty disruptive age- lots of "talking" and shrieking and wanting to explore his or her surroundings. We're not talking a newborn that would sleep through the whole thing.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'd check with the hostess if children are invited. If not, tell your SIL to leave him (?) home. I agree with PPs--babies that age can be very vocal/squirmy/distracting.
I BF my LO for 19 months--at 9 months it would have been no problem for me to be gone for a few hours--by then dad or sitter could feed LO solids or pumped milk.
A shower is not about pleasing one high-maintenance guest. Of course guests' comfort should be taken into account, but how rude of a guest to try to dictate the terms of the shower! It she wants to be with her baby and the baby is not invited, she stays home. This is not complicated.
It doesn't sound like she was trying to dictate the terms of a shower. She wanted to clarify if her baby was invited and said that if not, she would leave him home. I don't see how this is a problem. She probably should have gone straight to the hostess rather than the guest of honor, but other than that, I have no problem with her asking the question.
As for the folks who can't imagine any reason a mom would want to bring her baby to a shower other than to steal attention away from the mom-to-be, really? How about the mom works full time and only gets limited time to spend with her LO and would prefer not to be separated on weekends if possible?
I had a guest ask my shower hostess if her baby was invited, and the hostess asked me what I wanted to do, and I said it was fine with me. She brought her baby, who was then 6 or 7 months old, and it was awesome to have him there. I didn't think she was rude for asking. Not everyone thinks to put a baby's name on an invitation, even if they would be perfectly happy for the baby to attend.
This is "life" - there will be events in life where kids aren't invited. If you can't ever bear to be away from your child, then fine, don't be away. But realize that it's on YOU to make the decision to not see your friends because of this. it's not on them to include your child just so that you don't have to be apart.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10