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Tell Me... is this ok ??

Anderson2651Anderson2651 member
in Baby Showers

Alright I am 21 weeks PG with twins (FTM) and I was told to have your Baby shower at 28/29 weeks because after that I won't be comfortable doing anything and may be bed riden etc.

Ok well my mother is throwing it and has been asking me for my input. EX. location? Games? Food?  Well I have really enjoyed helping with the details until now.. I just got a call from my MIL. She was almost yelling at me for doing anything on the shower... she quotes "all I need to know is when/where to show up". I'm sorry but I WANT to know the details of my shower and what it will be like.. I"m not an traditional girl and I don't want a "cookie cutter" shower. I have alot of guy friends that I wanted invited so I wanted it to be more of a gathering of Friends and Family other then a "BABY SHOWER"... which my mom gets and understands. However my MIL is totally bashing anything I wanted for that day. I was soo excited for it and now its just a headache and no fun...

Does the MTB have a say in how the shower should be? Or should I just shut my mouth and let the MIL have her way (control of everything)...I'm just afaid that if that happens I'm not going to enjoy the day at all, and I WANT TO ENJOY IT!

Please HElp!!

EDIT: MIL I guess is now helping throw it even though she never mention anything until she found out me and my mom are planning it...

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Re: Tell Me... is this ok ??

  • jnjmommy0609jnjmommy0609
    Is she helping your mom out with it? If not then she really needs to calm down.  On a traditional level...no the mom to be generally doesn't get a say. But not everyone practices tradition and I think a lot of people forget that. If your mom is okay with your input then that is what works out for you guys.
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  • happiz0mb13happiz0mb13
    MIL needs to back off, unless she is helping with the shower. Otherwise, it's your day and your babys day! So do it how you want, even if it upsets her. 
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  • dufferoodufferoo member
    Can you clarify what your MIL's role in the shower is? Is she helping your mom to throw it? How does she even know about all your big ideas?
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  • ccamccam member
    If your mom is asking you for your opinion on things, I don't see anything wrong with it.  That's a lot different from planning/throwing your own shower. 

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  • jlh2716jlh2716 member

    Well, your mom asked for your input; that's okay in my books. It's not like you just took over the shower with your demands! MIL needs to chill.


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  • cutebride73cutebride73 member

    Did your mom ask your MIL for help?  If not, then I don't see how she possibly has any say in the matter.  She can just receive an invitation like everyone else and show up that day.  If, on the other hand, your mom asked her to co-host then that is a different situation and your mom is going to have to talk to her about it and work out a plan. 

    My mom is throwing my shower, but she is not much of a party planner, so she has asked my opinion on things like the theme, food choices, etc...  DH's aunt is doing the centerpieces because she offered to help and I know she likes to do those sort of things so my mom called her and asked her if she wanted to do them.  My DD (who is 21 years old) is doing the cake pop favors with help from DH's cousin.  MIL finally asked if should she do something for my shower yesterday (it is in 3 weeks) and I said we needed a fruit plate made if she was interested in doing that.  But, her helping with one thing doesn't mean she gets a say in anything - other than the fruit! 

    So basically it all depends on what your mom has arranged from other people as a host.  I would ask her what role MIL is having in the whole thing and like I said, if it's a co-host role then the two of them will have to work it out.  If your MIL is just being overbearing and not really hosting, then maybe your DH needs to tell her to back off.   

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