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Clingy MIL! Polite "back-off" phrase needed.

NorCalSuperwifeNorCalSuperwife
in Northern California Babies

I'm feeling a little less than polite about the situation and DH doesn't want to hurt her.....

So what is a polite "back-off" phrase he could use? The "we're busy" excuse is no longer working. She's about to show up at our office for lunch today since she knows we're stuck here. Don't get me wrong - she means well and just wants to see us, but it's becoming a bit much. 

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Re: Clingy MIL! Polite "back-off" phrase needed.

  • kittylovekittylove member

    We need some couple time for a while, how about we gtg in a week?

    or

    As much as we love spending time with you our lives are really busy and we aren't getting very much "us" time right now. We would like to get more of it for a while since once the baby comes we will have very little couple time.

     

    Good luck!

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  • quesarahquesarah

    Tough situation :/  My first inclination would be to say something like, well we are busy today (or the day the situation is) and then say, how about we gtg on this date and time for dinner or etc.  But I know you guys have been doing that from what you have said before...

    I think you may have to do something or have DH do something where he says that you guys do want to spend time with her, but you are feeling really busy right now with everything (holidays, preparing for baby on the way, etc) and need some alone couple time, but would still like to make sure you find time to spend with her too and you don't want her to feel like you are pushing away, etc, but more or less that you need some time to take everything in, but would still like to plan to see her on x date and gtg for dinner?   Maybe that's just the long version of what I said above though.

     

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  • tiki_ttiki_t
    Give her something to look forward to. Schedule something in the future to get together with her and stick to it. That way you set an expectation that things need to be scheduled in advance (and when they are, that you will make it) and that the spontaneous get togethers are a thing of the past.


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  • tri_bride05tri_bride05
    How often does she want to see you vs. how often you would like to see her? If she's trying to see you more than once a week, maybe you could plan a weekly dinner (or lunch) and stick to that or every other week, whatever works for you two. DH could just let her know that you are trying to get a little more couple time in before the baby arrives and that although you love to see her, you need your own time together (now as a couple, later as a family).
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  • shwebbshwebb
    I hope that your DH will handle this one. I mean, MIL's feelings will probably be hurt a little anyway, but he can probably be a bit more direct than you can, you know? I agree with the weekly (or whenever) scheduled visit going forward. Maybe your DH could say something like, "hey, we were thinking that with the baby coming and things getting busier for us, that it would be great if we could start doing a weekly visit now instead of random ones so everyone knows what to expect when the baby comes."
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