April 2012 Moms
Ashamed to admit...
Hence the AE. I don't like being a mom like I thought I would. I love her....but I don't enjoy this. If I'm 100% honest.....I liked my life before we had a baby. There's no changing it now. I will be the best mom I can be. I'm just not loving this.
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Re: Ashamed to admit...
It has to get easier and more enjoyable. I won't put this under an AE, I think many new moms feel this way. Its not always "fun" to be tied to a pump or a breast or being up all night with a screaming baby. I am enjoying it for the most part but I am still having feeding issues which make me stress out and it makes things a lot less pleasant then I had hoped for.
If you are a regular poster on this board, I don't think you need to be ashamed and use an AE. I think we're all here to support each other (for the most part... unless BJs while nursing or spendy lasagna are involved!).
I am no expert because I've only had a baby for 6 weeks but I do think it will get better for you. Your baby will grow and become more independent and you will get more of your normal life back. I think it may also become more rewarding for you once your child can truly show you that they love you... infants are tough because they are just so needy. Hang in there. I think talking about it definitely will help you. Do you have any mommy friends that might relate to what you are going through?
I'm sorry you are having a hard time and that you feel like you have to hide it. I remember having a hard time after our first ds was born. I was not a happy camper and was left wondering what the hell I had done.
My delivery and recovery was horrid and I had a screaming baby to care for with no family around on top of it. I hated that DH didn't have a clue as to what I was feeling and he was sleeping at night while I was awake. Looking back I'm sure I had PPD but my OB was ancient and he juat said you have to adjust then you'll be fine. I think things would have been better if I would have been treated.
Talk to someone! Don't be afraid of meds. They can help if you need it. Being a new parent is HARD but it does get easier with some time. It did for me. Also, do what you have to do to take some you time. It's so important to be able to decompress and not have to care for a little person for a couple hours.
Don't be ashamed. It's ok. Hugs.
For some reason this made me tear up. We are in charge of a complete stranger!
Op- I feel similar. When I saw a couple moms today saying they dont feel motherly I had a sigh of relief. It's soooo much harder than I thought. I thought 12 weeks of mat leave would be kind of a vacation, ha! Was I wrong and embarrassed to admit it but hey I am.
Newborns kind of suck. They eat and poop and cry. When they finally reward you with a smile, they usually take a giant dump right after.
Toddlers and big kids are way more fun. Once you can actually play with the baby, it gets so much better.
I think it really helps to remember that this is a season in your life- it's not the time to go barhopping or water skiing, but it will soon be the time for petting zoos and storytime. I'm aware that sounds really lame, but it is really rewarding to see your kid really enjoy something you do for them. Newborns can't really show appreciation, which is one of the reasons they kind of suck.
I can't recommend babywearing enough for keeping up a semblance of your normal life. Naptime can be anywhere and stairs aren't a problem with babywearing. I would never be able to get off the couch if I didn't wear my baby.
Please don't feel like you have to hide behind an AE. I really don't know very many people that really enjoy the newborn period.
There were times I was so disconnected with being a mom that I would forget that Micah even existed or that he was mine. There were many more times that I looked at him and thought... wow... I should feel something more than this, but I got nothing. I counted down the minutes until DH would come home to relieve me from my hell. I love my son, but it was nothing like I expected. I can't even blame it on hormones, because it felt completely different.
But now, I look forward to every minute that I hold him. He's the sweetest, most rewarding individual in my life, and I can't imagine a day without him. Now that he can respond to me through smiles and other grunts, it feels so much more rewarding than ever before. I don't know how old your LO is (I'm assuming younger than mine, since we're at the older end of the board), but I can tell you that at least from as far as I've seen, it gets a ton better. I can't even imagine once he can DO things!
Micah Leonard
I needed to see this because I've felt the same way and been embarrassed to say anything to anyone. I'm glad to know that other moms feel the same and it's good the hear other moms say it gets better.
I think motherhood is overwhelming.
It made me tear up too. lol
I'll be the first to admit that I REALLY do not enjoy the newborn stage. Ugh. Especially today.
But, i just keep telling myself things will get better --they HAVE to.
Etta Jane and Claire Elaine are here! Born March 28, 2012.
my blog
What it's like to cloth diaper twins, Part I.
Cloth diapering twins, Part II.
I agree with this. I think it is safe to say that all of us have experienced not fun times with the newborn phase.
I feel the same way. & throw in reflux & no help from family or friends, feeling irrational.