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Blended Families
nurrieum
member
I need to vent and whine I'm sorry
nurrieum
member
This is not related to my little blended family but to my extended one. I come from a blended family. All of my siblings are on my Dad's side and they are "half" siblings. My two brothers were from my father's first marriage and my sister is from his second, I from his third.
In 2007 my eldest brother died in a car accident- he was 30 years old. My sister's stepfather died hours before on the same day. Needless to say June 3rd is not a pleasant day for us. We are naming our new baby boy Joshua after my brother. This incident sparked the downward spiral of my father and it's been incredibly difficult for my sister's mom as well. My Dad (who is 62 years old) had 20 years of sobriety under his belt when Josh died- and he fell off the wagon in a big way. My Dad is not what you'd call a great father- he's a crappy Dad but he's my Dad. Of his 4 kids- I have the most relationship with him. The others lived with their moms and have had extended periods (years) of no contact because my Dad can be a man-child and his ex wives don't like him. (Some of it's warranted some of it's not).
Today is June 10th, last week was the 5 year anniversary losing my brother. My mom (hilariously a substance abuse counselor) was out of town yesterday. I guess Dad thought he'd wait to melt down until mom was gone. He got drunk yesterday- however my Dad being like a 15 year old girl- got drunk and got on facebook. Ohh yess, so now friends and family and total strangers can be privy to the meltdown picture show. He posted pictures of his beers, ranted about ridiculous things, made jokes about being wasted.
Skip to today! My mom comes home- I call her- she checks facebook. She's upset, obviously. Dad gets pretty ridiculous when he's drunk but for the past 7 months was doing great. He was enjoying being a grandpa- he was mending his relationship with my sister- we were getting along. He's got a lot of health problems so we value our time with our Dad especially when he's not crazy. So that fell apart.
Dad decides this is my fault. He then posts more immature and angry things on MY facebook page- because his fight with my mom is my fault. I'm 20- from the time I was 16 I didn't live at home but for a handful of months- my Dad being a child shouldn't bother me anymore. But it does- because he's my Dad. I should be able to detach from this crap and not take it personally- because ultimately the problem is him and he's the unhappy one. However, I'm disappointed- embarrassed and this makes me feel like the 14 year old my Dad used to bully.
I mean on facebook really?? (I shouldn't be surprised he did this when I got married and it was worse).
I'll get over it and not let it affect me but I'm super hormonal and just need to whine and complain and talk about my stupid problems. In the grand scheme of life this is a little thing. Thanks for listening to me B#$#@ for a minute.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I need to vent and whine I'm sorry
I second all of this. *hugs*
I hope you deleted all of your dad's posts / rants!
In fact, you might want to change your FB settings so you can't read what your dad is posting at all on his page - - at least for a while.
Have you considered going to Al-anon? It is free, and even if your dad is no longer drinking (or stops again), he is still an alcoholic.
Yeah I've removed him and my husband decided that if my Dad wanted to continue to rant and rave at me he would have to go through my husband. My Dad will always be an alcoholic- practicing or not his personality is just forever altered.
I've cut off contact with my Dad- I don't need to suffer his immaturity anymore nor does my happiness depend on my Dad not acting like an a$$. We're checking into our insurance and seeing if it will cover going to the counselor I used to see. If it doesn't I will be looking into Al-anon or the equivalent in my area.