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How did you handle newborn baby w/ an older "needy" baby/toddler?

marybeth1699marybeth1699 member
in Two Under 2

I would classify my LO has needy (or a child with major separation anxiety).  He has to be near me all the time.  Like right next to me.  If I get up and walk two feet away to make lunch or pee, he freaks out and goes into hysterics.  He crawls over to me and clings to my legs crying his eyeballs out.  He does this all day long.  There are usually only a few moments during the day where he'll be OK "by himself."  I have NO idea what to do to make this better for him and am seriously worried what is going to happen when I have the second b/c I won't be able to be there for him. 

 I've tried letting him cry or distracting him with a toy and sometimes after a few minutes he'll come out of it and play a little on his own but then 20-25 mins later it's the same thing all over again - he'll crawl over to me and climb all over me and if at any point I try to leave to do something, the hysterics start all over again.  I'm seriously at my wits end with this kid!!!  Is this normal??

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Re: How did you handle newborn baby w/ an older "needy" baby/toddler?

  • sccallasccalla
    That was DS to a T.  A few months before DD was born I instituted several 10-20 minute independent play times.  I would sit and knit, and encourage him to look at books or play with toys on his own.  I wanted him to be able to sit through me nursing DD w/o climbing all over me.  I would say it worked fairly well.  He is way more independent now.
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  • KacieLeighKacieLeigh member

    I think he'll definitely get more independent when the baby arrives.  Part of it is probably due to his age - he's young and doesn't really understand WHY he can't be with you 24/7.  He will start to comprehend a lot more in the next few months and I really think things will get easier. 

    I like pp suggestion of sitting in the place where you'll be feeding new baby with a baby doll and teaching him he can't climb on you when you're in that spot, etc.  

    Try buying some fun, new, interactive type toys for when new baby arrives.  Only let him play with those toys while you're feeding the new baby.  Designate them only for that time.  It will make him look forward to you feeding the baby!

    I'm also not one of those parents who is totally against a little TV for a small child.  If it will hold his attention, you could try that.  There are a lot of educational TV shows you can choose.  My kids love anything with singing and dancing.  :)  Good luck, mama!  It will be tough at first but you'll figure out your routine and so will he.  Kids at this age are so adaptable - it will work out!


    • DD1: August 2009
    • DD2: December 2010
    • DS: August 2012
    • M/C 9/2013, 12/2013 
    • DD3: October 2014 - April 2015 Miss you baby girl.
    • Current Due date:  April 14, 2016
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  • wendyll64wendyll64 member
    This worries me, too.  LO is super high needs and clingy and I worry that I won't be able to meet his needs while caring for a newborn, 
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