Well that was a rough first week with baby...

peachmuffins · June 2012

I don't know about you other june ladies that have already delivered but man was my brain completely shot loose in the week after delivery.... especially in the hospital where i just existed in a sleepless fog and hyper alert of every noise he made. Then we got home and people wanted to come visit and help, and I let my parents come over and my mom told me to go lay down and had to practically pry my son out of my arms and when i got in bed i just started crying uncontrollably because he wasn't with me in the same room... so of course because i was crying i couldn't sleep which led to me being rude and cranky - which my parents know is just part of hormones so they didn't take it personally... but wow... really difficult.

The actual act of caring for a baby is not that hard and i'm not having any problems figuring out the basics like diapering, feeding, bathing, circ care, skin care (LO has peely skin)... i'm not scared to hold him and move him... i'm totally cool with everything involving me interacting with the baby, but i'm having a lot of trouble interacting with other people and I don't really want many people around and if they are here i dont want them here for very long.

I'm getting better about it and i know people are just trying to be helpful but I randomly cry all day over silly stuff... and i feel like sitting around talking to people just triggers it and that makes me feel a little kooky.

I also was a lot angrier than i expected, not at the baby, but at SO... which is unfair to him because dads are kind of clueless anyways and don't have the instincts that moms do... but I feel bad for being so hard on him for just trying to help and i've resolved to be more patient and be more of a teacher than a critic. It's hard because I am still kind of moody but I talked to him about it and he knows i'm trying and he knows that i know that he's trying. I'm going to try to not bite his head off anymore.

I'm really lucky overall because I have a happy and healthy little dude that is the most adorable blob i've ever seen... especially when he burps and farts at the same time, which makes his father incredibly proud.

How are every one else's first few weeks going?

jamiah18 · June 2012

I still have an inside babe *sigh* but I just wanted to tell you that what you are going through is my biggest fear. People are already talking about visiting at the hospital and at home and it is giving me anxiety. I know they mean well and want to see the baby, but I don't want to deal with people, lol!

You made it through week 1 and it sounds like you have a good support system. Hopefully things will get easier for you!!:)

jiggycole · June 2012

I still have an inside baby too, but I have been going through a LOT of crying and being overly emotional with DH. Sometimes I don't even know why I cry, I just do. I hope that it doesn't get worse for me once LO is here.

I know it will get better, having a baby is a HUGE change and it will take some getting used to Hang in there!!

Formerly Mrs D S · June 2012

I can't offer any advice so to speak, but I want to let you know that everything you are going through is totally common. It's great that you are able to realize the frustration with other people and with SO etc. The first time I went through this I internalized it and ended up feeling guilty, jealous of other people when they were holding DD and hating DH. I wish someone would have told me... this is 'NORMAL' because I beat myself up over it.

I don't want to scare you, but these are all feelings that you may go through for the next couple of months (on and off). I hope you start to feel better soon.

Sawyerplus1 · June 2012

This LO is still inside, but I went through a lot of similar feelings as you with #1. It is tough, and can be an overwhelming adjustment (even when the newborn care is fairly simple). I know with DH and I our relationship got pretty miserable those first few weeks and it was really disheartening for us. We kind of avoided each other and if he tried to help I would get frustrated or annoyed. Honestly, it was really unfair to him b/c he's a fabulous DH and father, but it was also a big time of adjustment and hormones, etc. So I just want you to know that what you're going through is not uncommon, and it DOES get better! What was really key for DH and me was to be really open and honest about our feelings, no matter how irrational or uncomfortable it felt. I had to be honest about what frustrated me or about the times I knew I was just being hormonal, or what I needed help with the most, etc.

Hang in there! Be patient with each other, be honest with each other, accept help when/if you can, and know things will get better for everyone!

amy5162 · June 2012

While I am still waiting on LO's arrival I HAVE been down this road before and know exactly how you feel. It will take time for the emotions and hormones to even out and hopefully you will be able to find your true self soon. For me it wasn't until I stopped breast feeding, but that was a whole other emotion issue for me. Anyway, the point is, it really can be hard at the beginning but once you find your rhythm and get into the groove of things you will be happy once again. Also, please remember that people are wanting to come over to help you and are excited for you but you do not HAVE to allow anyone and everyone over at all times. It's ok to tell people no and it's not a good time for you. Just think about yourself right now and your LO. It will get better, but don't feel guilty for not wanting people over 24/7.

misthang_1 · June 2012

I'll echo PP...the emotions you are having are totally normal. I was the same way after DS was born. The night we got home with him, I was completely spent and DS was crying. DH said "give him to me, you need to sleep". So I reluctantly gave him to DH and went in the bedroom where I could still hear him crying and proceeded to bawl my eyes out. Finally I went in to the living room and begged DH to give him to me. I also had a friend who called to check on me and burst into tears the moment I answered the phone. I want to say it took me a good four months to even out. Just know that if it gets too overwhelming, you might want to put a call into your doctor. This time around it's been much less emotional, but I think that is due in part to the fact that this time around I knew what I was getting in to. Hang in there!

MrsC968 · June 2012

I cried a lot the first 5 days of DD's life. I totally feel you. I hated being in the hospital and with all the interruptions from the nurses and visitors I had a really hard time focusing on caring for the baby and my own recovery. I normally love eating and I felt so apathetic about food. I just did not feel like myself. I had a really hard labor and c-section and it took a big emotional toll on me along with the lack of sleep.

I thought I wanted people to visit me in the hospital but I actually didn't like it at all. it was nice to see people but I was trying to get the hang of breastfeeding and it was hard juggling people arriving and feeding DD. Even now that she's a month old I'm still hesitant when people visit and feeding her.

Once I was home a couple days without people around but DH I gained so much confidence caring for DD and I was feeling a lot better too. I finally got an appetite back. It does get easier emotionally. I know people say that all the time and when you are feeling down it doesn't seem like easier will get there soon enough. If you can, really limit visitors. Focus only on your LO and yourself. And let your SO help you. Smile Maybe take a long shower and just relax and enjoy yourself. Or have your SO get you a treat, like dessert or something.

Hang in there, mama. You're doing great! And your feelings are totally normal.

piedpiper07 · June 2012

I could have written this post myself! The baby isn't overwhelming to me it's everything else.. Postpartum recovery being number one. I can't sit or walk or stand and I end up crying a lot because I am in so much pain and just want to take care of DS without all of the pain.

Secondly my MIL took it upon herself to bring DHs brother and stay here from the day we got home from tr hospital until today. I will never ever ever let this happen again. She expected me to cater to her.. Asked me "why is he crying so much", left a crapload of dishes in the sink, and made comments about how I was doing everything. Pretty much never want to talk to her gain after this.

So yeah my first week has been rough. Very rough. I think it will get better (Esp for me since MiL and BIL left this morning). I understand 100% where you are coming from.

peachmuffins · June 2012

MrsC968:
I normally love eating and I felt so apathetic about food.

This also, I had to set an alarm on my phone for every 4 hours to remind me to eat... I used to LOVE food and now i have no desire for it and i would forget if it wasnt for my phone.

MrsL1022 · June 2012

I am going to be pg for the rest of my life but I had the same feelings you are describing with #1. I was ok with DH and my parents but felt rage and like my privacy was being invaded by everyone else who tried to walk through the door. It's a huge adjustment and hormonal ride but you will definitely even out. It helped my to lock myself and DS in my room and sleep together the first few days. You are doing great and everything you are feeling is totally normal. It should ease in the next few days/week.

Katyebobatey · June 2012

Thank you for being so honest about your experience - It really helps to know what could happen and that it's relatively normal. I'm a firm believer in hearing all about the good, the bad, and the ugly so that if some aspect happens to me, I'll already know that I'm not alone and that it'll get better. Only hearing about the puppies and rainbows version of things only sets people up to be disappointed.

Thank you again for giving it to us straight and good luck!!

kdjudd · June 2012

I've had a hard first week as well. The lack of sleep, intrusion of family members, and the constant crying from my gassy baby have been overwhelming on my nerves. I already suffer from PTSD and chronic depression. I'm pretty sure that I now have PPD. I expected that though.

To battle with the depression I just keep reminding myself that I am blessed with a healthy little girl. She is so beautiful and I am so thankful that she is a part of my life. Things are hard right now, but I know that soon I'll get into the routine and life will get a little easier. Plus, I have a wonderful husband who has been so helpful.

notfrancie · June 2012

Awww, peach! I still have an inside baby too (DAY 8 past EDD, WTF!) but I am also a crying, mad mess. Does it help to know that others are feeling the same, and that this is totally normal, and that it's just your crazy ass hormones, and that it will pass soon? Because although I am no expert, I am pretty sure all those things are true.

Today I got into an argument with DH while furniture shopping over something absolutely ridiculous. It was 85% my fault, so now that it is over I have had to do a LOT of apologizing.

You are a new mom, so I feel like that gives you a free Hot Mess Card to play whenever you want. Just be prepared to do a lot of baking/apologizing in a month when you are feeling better.

LoveBug0516 · June 2012

I can totally relate. I had LO six days ago and have been on a whirlwind of emotions. Sometimes I am so jealous of MH because he can still come and go as he pleases, doesn't have to BF the baby and has his normal body. I cry when i think of labor, i cry when i realize i am no longer pregnant, i cry when i picture how she looked the first time i saw her, etc..... Other times I feel amazing that I gave birth to her. She hasn't been sleeping well because she refuses to sleep on her back so I have been letting her sleep on my chest since night one, which is cute and cuddly but also exhausting. I miss my bed and I miss snuggling with MH. He sleeps next to me on the sofa but I really miss the alone time I had with him and the ability to come and go as we pleased. Other times during the better moments I remind myself that this is a huge change for the two of us and we just need some time to adjust and life will be good. It's hard to explain all of emotions and feelings circulating in my system right now - here and to MH but it helps to type it out or speak to it, even if it doesn't make sense. MH goes back to work on wednday and part of me is terrified of being alone with the baby all day by myself and the other part of me is relieved that maybe I can come up with my own little routine with LO. Just communicate to your friends and family and stay on here for support as well. You are not alone and to be honest, reading your post reminded me of this as well. (sorry for the wall of text - on iPad).

BR · June 2012

As you can see, you are not alone. I hope this makes you feel better some. I was completely over emotional for the first two weeks of my child's life. I couldn't stop the flood of feelings and was completely overwhelmed. Don't be aftraid to put yourself first and tell your visitors you need time alone. I let people come over but was not shy about saying I needed a nap a little while after they were here.

It does get easier each day that passes. My emotions leveled out some after the second week. Hang in there. Hugs to you.

cchill01 · June 2012

You sound exactly like me after DD's birth. Those hormones are biotch. If you don't start feeling a little better after a few weeks though, definitely talk to someone. I want to say the first 6 months were pretty rough on DH and I. The not sleeping thing really gets to you.

JessieCupcake · June 2012

*hugs* i just want to say you are not alone Peach. My LO is not even a week old yet and i have been struggling with crazy emotions. I cry over so many things like thinking about the labor and hospital experience, sometimes from just looking at DS, or like today when my mom went to go home. .

Im so glad you posted this because sometimes I feel like what I am feeling is not normal. I'm glad I'm not alone. Things will get better; in the meantime hang in there.

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