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Adoption
happy_un-bride
member
If you're willing to share... why are you choosing adoption?
happy_un-bride
member
in Adoption
Hello,
I realize this may be personal, but I thought it'd be nice to understand all the different points of view out there. So, why are you choosing adoption? Also, it would be interesting if you could share what route you are choosing and the restrcitions on that you're placing on the adoption (i.e. gender, race, etc)
For me - I'm not definitely pursuing adoption yet. I have medical concerns, but my specialist is ok with me trying to get PG; my DH would prefer if we adopted to ensure my health was no affected. So, I'm currently TTC, but exploring all my options. If you have seen a recent post of mine, one of my options might be moving to a foreign country. When/if we do pursue adoption, we'd be happy with a child up to say 6 years old; but would prefer no physical/mental handicaps. I would prefer an infant, but I am very impatient. 
*** DS born February 21, 2013 - Toronto, Canada ***
This discussion has been closed.
Re: If you're willing to share... why are you choosing adoption?
We chose to foster (which I realize is different than adoption) mainly because nothing else felt "right", with nothing else being getting pregnant, adopting or keeping status quo. There is a much more detailed explanation here. We are not in the foster-to-adopt route, we are solely fostering to foster. If down the road adoption becomes an option for us, then we will decide at that point if it is the right decision for our family.
We are open to up to 2 children of any race, any gender, most non-severe medical conditions that don't require therapeutic care, infant to 4 years old. The reason for that particular age range is that we are first-time parents and that is where we are most comfortable. However, we have received placements calls that were outside of this age range that we strongly considered. These are purely our preferences, not absolute requirements.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
We chose foster/adoption because of my family. My mother was adopted, my grandparents were foster parents for almost 30 years, and because of that all my "aunts and uncles" are former foster kids that were never formally adopted but kind of unofficially adopted my grandparents. So I always knew I wanted to become a foster parent and most likely adopt.
Then I was told (at age 16) that I couldn't have kids, which only deepend my resolve to adopt. Then last year I started seeing a reproductive endocrinologist to see it it was possible and was diagnosed with PCOS. We have done over a year of treatments with only a m/c to show for it. We went through all the training and etc to become foster parents while we were doing infertility cycles (in a two birds one stone kind of plan), and now are just waiting to hear back from the state that we are officially licensed.
Growing up I didn't know the difference really- all my siblings are half siblings, and I already mentioned that all my aunts and uncles were foster/adopted kids so... blood means nothing to me. All I care about is that I get to be a mom- how that kid (or kids) comes into my life... that's just semantics.
We chose to adopt through domestic adoption. We wanted to start a family. We had gone through a lot of treatment and it failed to work. We researched adoption and decided it was right for us.
We were open to adopting a newborn.
I have an adopted cousin and grew up with people close to my family that were adopted, so it was always something that interested me.
As it turns out, we have IF issues, and after we went as far as we were willing to take things with our RE the second time, we got off of the IF roller coaster to pursue adoption for our second child.
Probably not the most altruistic reason, but we love parenting and we have always known we wanted more than one child. This path seemed like a great option for us to fulfill that dream and complete our family.
We chose to adopt because I have IF and we wanted to be parents. Adoption seemed like a good option for us, and it was!
We chose domestic infant adoption through a full-service agency.
We weren't allowed to choose gender. We had heavy restrictions on most drug use by the birthmother, and pretty heavy restrictions on medical conditions. However, we left the door open for some things to be on a case by case basis. We were middle of the road in terms of racial/ethnic concerns.
This. Except we aren't open to IF treatment anymore. I've got moderately severe endo and hubby has issues as well, so our odds are horrible, even with IVF. And since a hysterectomy is probably on the near horizon, bio children aren't happening.
We also chose domestic infant adoption, for the same reasons as above, and because we believe in the psychological benefits of open adoption.
I couldn't have said it any better. The only difference/addition I have to this is we are also foster parents.
We want to adopt because foster care is near and dear to both our hearts. DH spent 3 high school years in care and aged out, and before we started dating I had become an adoption caseworker. We are both passionate about working with these kiddos and to us it's a no brainer the route we want to adopt in the future.
We are currently overseas and recently had our first, but will be moving home at the end of this year so we can start getting settled there to become certified, etc. until then I will continue to mostly lurk, as I love still hearing about people's journeys and experiences and offer help when I can. I really loved my job, it was just time for a break and new adventure, so this board enables me to still feel like I can contribute knowledge from time to time.