WWYD? "BFF" is in town for a visit. LONG novel rant. ***Pregnancy/Children Mentioned***

SO this Monday my "BFF" from Texas is supposed to be coming to visit. I'm so not looking forward to this. I'm debating canceling on her, not answering the phone or hoping she "forgets".Sorry this is going to be long but I need to get this out somewhere before I lose it. I feel like there needs to be some kind of back story so I don't sound like a total b!tch. Sorry if I lose anyone.

This was one of my very close friends, we went to school together. Our families were close. After school we even worked together for about two years. I was a supportive friend for her during her first pregnancy when things weren't going too well between her & her son's father. We talked to each other on the phone daily. We spent every weekend together. Even after we had our own places we would still sleep at each others houses with our kids (We lived about a half hour way from each other). We even took family vacations together. We knew each other for years. Our husbands are close friends, I actually introduced her to her husband. I helped her mother with her 1st baby shower for her son & I threw her her 2nd baby shower when she got pregnant with her daughter (my goddaughter). After she had her daughter she would always make comments like you need to have another one now so I can throw you a baby shower. She was my MOH (her husband was also in my wedding) & I was her MOH. I was the only bridesmaid in her wedding so I threw her both a bridal shower & a bachlorette party. Which happened to be a little over a year after her daughters baby shower & less than a month after my own wedding (her boyfriend at the time was enlisting in the army so they decided to get married the day after our wedding but it had to be quick before he left for bootcamp). Yes I know talk about a CRAZY few weeks. I was planning HER wedding events while I was on MY honeymoon! I helped her plan/host many birthday parties for her kids, her annual adult halloween party & her wedding. Once her husband left for boot camp I didn't think It was possible but we got even closer. I have helped her pack, move, unpack & decorate her homes multiple times. Including packing for the big move to Texas. I found out I was pregnant a month before she left & I was told by both her & her mother how they were going plan this extravagant baby shower for me for all I have done for her, just send her a guest list.

WELL...We haven't really talked much since she moved to Texas in October. Apparently she hasn't really talked to anyone from back here. She was back in town in January to visit her family & she had stopped by for a half hour before they had to leave for the airport so the kids could exchange gifts. Since she moved I have made attempts to continue our friendship. I have called & left voicemails, text messages, sent emails & even used facebook to try & keep in touch with her. I even got a skype account so we could still see each other & the kids. To my knowledge nothing happened between us she has just been too "busy" being a stay at home mom/army wife. Funny thing is HER DH has kept in touch with both myself & my DH since he left for bootcamp...he works everyday yet he still finds time at least twice a month to send an email or to call us. Plus there has been ongoing drama between this friend and my SIL & another mutual close friend about baby shower stuff. She claimed she wanted to be involved with the shower but she wasn't gonna be able to make it...Ok fine no big deal to me you live in Texas. Then she would get mad at the two hosting the shower for not calling & updating her...last I checked phones, email & FB all work BOTH ways. Apparently she sent a box of stuff to help contribute to the shower but the "box" was never received and when asked who the box was sent to because it was never received she never responded back to the shower hosts. She was supposed to be "skyped in" at the shower when I opened her gift that her mother was supposed to be bringing. We never seen or heard anything from either of them. Her FB told us she spend the day of the shower at the park fishing with her kids & then later that night they had dinner with their neighbors. I honestly didn't expect her to do anything because she lived so far away but don't act like you want to be involved if you truly don't want to be bothered. I enjoy party planning & cake decorating that's why I did what I did for my friend NOT because I expected her to do the same in return. On top of all of this bullshit she really let me down when it came to losing Olivia. TWO days AFTER Olivia passed away I got a facebook message that said,

"I know I'm the worst friend ever and you probably don't want to hear from me. But I love you and I'm very sorry I haven't been there for you through the biggest moments in your life lately. After I was unable to Skype you for your shower the days kept going by and before I knew it weeks had passed. I thought you would be mad and I acted like a child and before I knew it weeks had gone by. I am ashamed that I cut off & let one of the few people in my life who was actually there for me and who cared for me as I truly cared for them slip out of my life. I can't imagine how you feel but hope that time will heal your wounds. I Love You and hope someday you can forgive me."

And that was it. She couldn't even pick up the phone like her mother & husband had. To that I responded that I was honestly too upset to even deal with that at that point in time. That I hoped she could understand that I wasn't in the state of mind to fight, not fight or defend anything. That I was not mad just upset that I made attempts to keep in touch with her and received no response back. That I haven't really been speaking to anyone on the phone just thru text or facebook because it helped with the not crying all the time. I honestly just didn't want to start a fight or lose a friend because I knew I wasn't in the right state of mind. Even though I told her I wasn't talking on the phone I still expected a call or even a text message. Nope. Nothing until 2 weeks later I received a FB invite to her son's Birthday party which was on June 3rd, my EDD. So I responded that I was sorry that we weren't going to be able to make it to the party. That I was having issues with social situations & how I have really bad anxiety that the doctor just put me on meds for. I even told her the 3rd was Olivia's due date and it was probably gonna be a rough day for us. I know most of her family very well & wasn't ready to deal with all the questions. The last time I seen them all was the beginning of October when they found out I was pregnant. I also told her I was going see if I can find someone to take DD so she can still go. And got NO response back.Since I received the invite both my SIL & my other close friend had sent her a FB message, since that seems to be her source of contacting people, about how I needed support from ALL my friends. Basically an FYI your BFF's child died, a child that was supposed to be your goddaughter, she needs your support now so take your head out of your ass and do something. They showed me the messages after they were sent but neither of them said anything rude to her. Of course I didn't hear anything from her, neither did they BUT they were uninvited & taken off her son's guest list via FB! Like seriously...they called you out on your sh!t, they were sticking up for me & your response it to take it out on the kids & not address the issue like an adult! Now since she seems to be Mrs. FB I posted this,

"FYI. I pray that no one ever has to be in this situation BUT just incase you are you will know. If you have a friend who loses a child & don't know what to say, saying NOTHING is not the answer! Sadly people who lose a child often lose close friends because of this. As if losing a child isn't enough! If you call me, more than likely I will not answer but it doesn't mean I'm not glad you called or that I can't be bothered. I just rather hide behind my laptop or cell phone so I can cry without anyone knowing....I don't like to look or sound like a freak show! Even a text, email or card that says I was thinking about you & your child will do the trick. Even if I don't answer the phone I will NEVER turn down a visit! Over the past month I have spent a lot of time reading about this online & I've re-evaluated my relationships with people. I will say I'm truly shocked by who was there for us & who was not. Who called or came to visit & who didn't. I have been blessed with a handful of truly amazing people in my life & I'm very thankful for each & every single one of you!"

Now this was not directed just toward her BUT she was in my mind when I posted this. Of course everyone & their mother had something to say about it BUT her!

ANYWAY

She has been here since June 2nd (today is the 8th) & still hasn't made an attempt to contact me until yesterday when I asked her if she was gonna bring her kids by to see my DD. Now I know she hasn't seen her family since January, I know she came up with her new friends from Texas & I know she had a birthday party to deal with but I wonder how long it would have taken her to contact me had I not wrote on her damn FB wall! Her response was i'm going to try & make it over this Monday (June 11th) or next Monday (June 18th). But she still had time to tell FB how she was at the boardwalk with her kids last night. And she has been posting pictures of her & her friends from Texas getting drunk every night in her Mom's backyard since they have been here. I'm kicking myself in the ass for even talking to her. I feel like if I didn't bring it up she would have came & left with out even coming to see how we were doing. Its just so upsetting because when she picked the dates to come back up here from Texas she was making sure she was going to be here to see the baby since she told me before hand she was not going to be able to make it for the shower. Olivia's baptism was even already planned for the end of the summer for when she was going to be back in town again. After typing it all out I find my self making plans to accommodate her but now that there is no baby to come see I feel like she don't even want to come see us.

I know I sound like a whiney little girl, maybe even a bit jealous but I truly thought she was my Best Friend. I never thought she would turn out to be like this. I was always there for her. There for everything, the good & the bad...and believe me there was ALOT of bad! I know were are not the same person but I know if she were in my shoes I would have handled things VERY differently. She would have been my first stop as soon as I got back into town if this was her. Sadly the lack or her being there as a friend can't even be blamed on Olivia passing away because all of this started before we even knew Olivia was sick. So now that she is gone I can only imagine how this visit is going to go & if there is even a friendship left.

WWYD? Would you still have her come over? I want to see the kids & I know DD wants to see them too. I just feel like she is such a stranger, I don't even know what to say to her. Would you confront her? I want her to know how I feel at but I don't want to fight with her. I afraid to even bring most of this up especially after seeing how she handled the messages from our other friends. I'm also upset that she is no longer speaking to my SIL & OUR other friend because they were sticking up for me. Then I find myself making excuses for her. I really don't want to lose another friend but I'm kinda to the point to where I feel like she is already lost. Why do I always get stuck with the sh!ttest friends? Is it really worth all the aggravation & the anxiety I'm going threw? This is making my crazy! Thank you ladies for listening to me rant!