Do "push" or not to "push?"

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2012

Quick background - CS was agreed upon and DHs lawyer drafted a voluntary CS agreement that both BM and DH signed and then a judge signed. DH has been moved to a lower COL area and his income has dropped. This allows him a CS adjustment. He messaged BM about it (gotta keep those texts for "documentation) and she mentioned she received a pay raise.

I entered these two factors into the way Guam calculates their cs. The decrease in what DH would pay is around $350. Then I calculated what it would be if they couldnt agree like they have in the past and DH opened a case here in Virginia. The decrease in CS would be $450.

When they agreed before I put together a document explaining how the amount was determined and BM had her lawyer look it over to confirm it followed the law correctly. I want to put together the same document format with both VA and Guam's CS amounts and send it to her. But then I have the thought of "is this too pushy of me or is it more of giving BM a choice" which could be a good thing for her.

Thoughts?

MarSamWhitney · June 2012

I think it might be nice to give her an option, but does she know its coming?

Ilumine · June 2012

This needs to be a letter written by your attorney, sent to her attorney. That way it's not deemed at a threat or coercion.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2012

MarSamWhitney:
I think it might be nice to give her an option, but does she know its coming?

She knows bc DH asked her for her pay info. When she asked why he said bc he is allowed an adjustment.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2012

Ilumine:
This needs to be a letter written by your attorney, sent to her attorney. That way it's not deemed at a threat or coercion.

Thats a good point. I was really hoping to not have to deal with an attorney seeing as we are currently fighting dhs bc he signed docs for BM that DH didnt approve.

MarSamWhitney · June 2012

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

Ilumine:
This needs to be a letter written by your attorney, sent to her attorney. That way it's not deemed at a threat or coercion.

Thats a good point. I was really hoping to not have to deal with an attorney seeing as we are currently fighting dhs bc he signed docs for BMW that DH didnt approve.

This was my whole thinking too. If I was the BM and got two options like that, I might feel threatened, even though realisticly she shouldnt if she knows its coming.

Courtney&Daryll · June 2012

I agree that it should be through your attorney, but I wouldn't include the information regardin Virginia. The order is controlled by the juridstiction of the child not the paying parent. All Virginia could do is uphold whatever order is already in place in Guam. Any changes need to be done in Guam based on their child support guidelines.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2012

MarSamWhitney:
*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

Ilumine:
This needs to be a letter written by your attorney, sent to her attorney. That way it's not deemed at a threat or coercion.

Thats a good point. I was really hoping to not have to deal with an attorney seeing as we are currently fighting dhs bc he signed docs for BM that DH didnt approve.

This was my whole thinking too. If I was the BM and got two options like that, I might feel threatened, even though realisticly she shouldnt if she knows its coming.

I can see your point on feeling threatened so that's why DH gave her the heads up. I honestly was surprised it was as easy as it was to get the new pay info from her. And by easy I mean it was only a ten minute conversation before she said the amount.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2012

tifanico:
Im confused here. Why are you giving her the chance to choose where you are going to file for the CS adjustment. I don't know, if it were me I would go ahead and file wherever is more convenient for me. Maybe I'm just a b1cth?

The only reason it appears we are giving her a choice is bc their current CS is based on a Voluntary CS agreement and that's our first choice on how to do the adjustment. But if she isn't willing to try and agree we will pursue filing with a child support agency. The most convenient thing is to mutually agree so that's what we are trying first. The b1tch move would be filing with the agency that would pay less to SS. At least that is how she may see it so that's what I am counting on as "pushing" her to agree.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2012

Courtney&Daryll:
I agree that it should be through your attorney, but I wouldn't include the information regardin Virginia. The order is controlled by the juridstiction of the child not the paying parent. All Virginia could do is uphold whatever order is already in place in Guam. Any changes need to be done in Guam based on their child support guidelines.

Actually that's not true. Bc there is no case number assigned and one has never been opened DH as the NCP is allowed to open a cs case with his local cs agency. If the current cs amount was determined through an actual agency then it would be different but it was an amount agreed on by DH and BM.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2012

Bump burp

Courtney&Daryll · June 2012

I do understand what you are saying that your DH and BM agreed on this amount and it wasn't determined by an agency or a judge but once the judge in Guam signed the agreement it became an order and as such can only be modified by agreement or through a judge in Guam. Mom and child live in Guam and she doesn't have to agree to Virgina having jurisdiction. Look up Uniform Interstate Family Support Act it is the federal law that states which stats guidelines control the order. I know that you feel because this order was agreed to by the parties that it isn't the same, but parents are allowed to agree outside of the guidelines and have that agreement made into an order.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2012

Courtney&Daryll:
I do understand what you are saying that your DH and BM agreed on this amount and it wasn't determined by an agency or a judge but once the judge in Guam signed the agreement it became an order and as such can only be modified by agreement or through a judge in Guam. Mom and child live in Guam and she doesn't have to agree to Virgina having jurisdiction. Look up Uniform Interstate Family Support Act it is the federal law that states which stats guidelines control the order. I know that you feel because this order was agreed to by the parties that it isn't the same, but parents are allowed to agree outside of the guidelines and have that agreement made into an order.

Its not the way I feel. It's what the Virginia child support case worker said. She said they would then send the docs to Guam if and once DH decided to open a case.

Courtney&Daryll · June 2012

That is correct because only Guam can change the agreement not Virginia. All I am saying is that your order cannot be based on Virginia rules because Virginia has no jurisdiction over the agreement which was made an order when it was signed by a judge in Guam.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2012

Courtney&Daryll:
That is correct because only Guam can change the agreement not Virginia. All I am saying is that your order cannot be based on Virginia rules because Virginia has no jurisdiction over the agreement which was made an order when it was signed by a judge in Guam.

If that's the case then why did DH bother filling out the paperwork to calculate Virginia cs? Looks like the case worker will be getting another call. Thanks for your insight!

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