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Infertility
Tryingtogetpregnant
member
Maybe I'm just not cut out for all of this?
Tryingtogetpregnant
member
in Infertility
Do you think that's possible? I mean, maybe I'm just not cut out to be a wife and mother. My IL's were here this weekend. They absolutely drive me batty. My MIL suggested donor eggs to me. I know she had good intentions, but it still cut through my heart. I told my DH, he yelled at his mom, and then the arguments just began. They told me how immature I am and that I just play games and try to get my DH to hate them. Maybe I do? I don't think I do, but maybe I do.
I just seem to be so good and natural at other things in my life. I am good in my career, I am successful, I have a good relationship with my family and friends. Maybe I'm just not good at being married. I blow everything up in my DH's family. Then, I can't have a baby. It's like anything I try to do in my married life just blows up on me. Does anyone else feel this way? I guess I've just had one too many long days and one too many Miller Lites. I just feel like giving up on life today.
Sorry for complaining. No one else understands me. Although my IL's yelled in my face for an hour that they understood what I was going through - ha!
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Re: Maybe I'm just not cut out for all of this?
I am so sorry you're having a rough couple of days...know we all go through this and I was feeling this way yesterday. I am so freaking tired of people telling me that my time will come soon enough. I think the stress of IF makes everything seem a lot more than maybe it is to someone else. I just have to step back sometimes and remind myself that NOBODY who hasn't struggled with IF knows what it's like.
((HUGS))
I don't have any advice as I'm fighting my own battles that I just can't seem to win.
But, I wanted to tell you that your husband loves you and I agree that sticking up for you is huge. Hang in there and know that we all have days, months, even years like this. We understand and we're here for you. ((HUGS))
What a bunch of asses. ?How dare they suggest DE without being asked their opinion and then accuse YOU of playing games to get YH to hate them. ?They started it, they were inappropriate, if their son is angry at them it's because they deserve it!! ?That is just so frustrating.
?I would ban the ILs from the house until they get their heads out of their asses. ?Aargh, that makes me SO mad. ?I'm so sorry.?
That's horrible Jenny. You should not let anyone talk to you like that. I don't understand why people say crap like that when they don't know all the details.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I am sure you are a great wife and Piotr loves you. He knew his mom was wrong for saying that, that's why he stood up for you. She is the immature one, sticking her nose where it doesn't belong.
{{HUGS}}
I so wish we could go out for drinks together.
Savannah
Callista
Baby Trail Blog
"Someday we will look at our babies and know it will be worth it. If it was easy, we would not have had our babies, the babies we were meant to have." From Amy052006
Oh Jenny, I'm so sorry you were in all that drama. I can not even believe your MIL suggested donor eggs - doesn't she realize how inappropriate that is??? I think your DH is awesome for supporting you and it's so sad your MIL saw his support of you as an attack on your DH's family. Seriously, she ought to try growing up a little.
Jenny, you are definitely cut out for married life and motherhood. Please don't let your IL's make you doubt yourself. I mean, these are people who yelled in your face for an hour about how they understood your IF struggle - oh puhleez, these peole do not understand sh*t about your struggle!
I hope you don't have to spend any more time with your IL's this weekend. ((( BIG HUGS )))
Jenny - no one is good at marriage. The ones who appear to be are faking it
Most couple do not have to deal w/the crap we do. It doesn't sound like your marriage is bad (just crappy ILs) and unfortunatly - you can't pick your family (well - other than DH) 
Hang in there! You CAN do this. You will do it in your own way and time - which may not be the same as your ILs would - which is totally fine.
buck up lil camper
Jenny- don't be so hard on yourself. ?holidays are stressful anyway and If you're going through a difficult time, like IF, it makes it that much more stressful. ? I think you're IL's really have alot of nerve giving you a hard time about you IF choices and arguing with you at YOUR HOUSE! ?Its just rude and inapropriate. ?
?
I also think that not being able to get pregnant can be a real ego blow to a woman and I'm sure its an easy jump to think that you're not good at other things too. ?Like being a good wife and mother. ?I just want to let you know that I've always thought of you as one of the most kind and considerate ppl on this board. ?You're always reaching out to those of going us through difficult times. ?Seems like you have great mom qualities to me. ?I have faith that you will make it through this. ?you will be a fantastic mom and I hope I'm around to see you get the happiness and joy you deserve.
?
T.?
I feel the same way. My mom suggested using donor sperm to me, and it upsets me just as much. I also think that going thru IF is very difficult and taxing, and idiots who say the wrong thing can get under your skin even more than usual. I know exactly how you feel, I hope things get better for you, please hang in there.