Baby Showers
kathyo1982
member
Touchy invite question
kathyo1982
member
in Baby Showers
My SIL (DH's bro's wife) has had a falling out with DH's family. It is mostly with his parents, over how she keeps house/raises the kids type things. This began just before Thanksgiving, and there have been a couple e-mails recently about how 'people are forgiven' but she is currently still staying away from family events until she feels comfortable to be around them/us. I know that DH and I are not on their bad sides whatsoever (heck, we're renting our old house to them at a $250/mo loss to us!), but I still haven't seen her since this all started. Well, I thought there was only going to be 1 shower for both families at my mom's, but due to other circumstances, there will be 2. 1 at my mom's (an hour away), and 1 at our house, thrown by his mom, sister, and one other SIL. My family's is on July 1, and his on July 15. No one knows if she would show up to the shower on the 15th, so rather than explain this all to my family, I thought maybe my MIL could include the July 1 date in her invite to give her an option to go to a shower, that won't be attended by the rest of the family. I know my sister was sending out the July 1 invites this week, and my MIL said she was sending her's probably next week, so I think there would still be time for my SIL to plan to go to my mom's if she wants to. Any advice on how to handle this?
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Re: Touchy invite question
Baby Boy born sleeping at 20 weeks.
Third redvino's suggestion.
That said - because I don't know your family, and because I'm assuming that the way she was keeping the house/raising her kids wasn't dangerous or neglectful - it sounds like your ILs may have some serious boundary issues. It would concern me to hear a mere difference of opinion over these issues when someone's wellbeing isn't clearly at stake, has escalated to such a point. if I were you, I'd be prepared to draw some boundaries, watch my back, and get ready for a Come to Jesus talk with your H if his parents pull this crap on you too.
There are a few small things that do irk me about the IL's...and DH already knows what they are. There are 9 grandchildren on his side, 3 of which are this specific couple's - and there aren't any 'issues' that I know of with the others. I'm new enough into the picture that I don't know the back story, but they have been married for like 13 years, and it sounds like there was 13 years worth of 'bad blood'/hurt feelings that finally just came out around Thanksgiving, and she said enough is enough. I do have to say, she is a little 'different' than everyone else...nothing bad or anything...but his parents are also very blunt about things....but thank you for your concern and advice. :-)