Etiquette WWYD? (NBR)
overtonhayes
member
So, this is actually about a wedding, but I don't want to post on the knot because I know the bride-to-be uses the knot and I'd rather she didn't see this.
DH and I have been invited - we think - to a friend's wedding. I say 'we think' because we received a save the date card a long time ago but no invitation. We just moved to a new place about two months ago and I ummed and aahed about sending a little message the happy couple's way letting them know our new address in case they wanted to send on an invitation: in the end, I did let the BTB know. She thanked me for the update and said she was looking forward to seeing us in July. I joked that I would be huge because the wedding is days before my due date but we would still be there as long as I wasn't actively in labour. Meanwhile, DH has bumped into the groom-to-be a few times and he has also said that he can't wait to see us there.
However, BTB just posted something on Facebook about the wedding being 46 days away, which has got me wondering whether we're actually invited or not. Shouldn't we have had an invitation by now? Surely the RSVP date is coming up, if not already gone?
DH and I both really want to go to the wedding but the last thing we want to do is just assume we were invited and show up. Our own wedding was so last-minute (immigration saw to that) that we didn't have time for save the date cards, so we have no idea about the etiquette behind them and we're wondering whether receiving one =/= actually being invited. We just want to make sure that we RSVP, but have no idea what to do in this situation. DH wants to outright ask if we're invited. I feel that that would put
the couple in a very awkward position and it would be tacky. WWYD?
Re: Etiquette WWYD? (NBR)
Did you have your mail forwarded, and do you know if the invites have already gone out? Generally, etiquette says that anyone who receives a save the date must receive an invitation, but swing by The Knot and you'll see not everyone follows that. It's also possible that the invitations have not been mailed yet (or are just being mailed)-it's not unusual to send them out 6-8 weeks before the wedding.
I'd wait a few weeks, and see what happens. Since both the bride and groom have mentioned seeing you in July, the invitation probably just hasn't arrived yet.
Ah, thanks ladies. DH and I had less than 90 days to get married, which by the time we'd set a date and found a venue left less than 50 days to plan the entire wedding (including getting invitations out!), so you'll understand why we're confused about etiquette. I wasn't sure whether maybe save the date cards went out to absolutely everyone who the couple would like to invite, before the guest list was narrowed down due to venue/budget constraints, etc.
So the general consensus is it won't be rude to say something, as long as I wait a little while? As I said, we're not trying to fish for an invitation or anything, we just want to make sure that we RSVP on time and do everything right.
This.
This is GENIUS, but unfortunately we don't have any idea who else is invited.