Community› The Bump Message Boards› Multiples
Multiples
New Discussion

Two against one!!! vent

gymratgymrat
in Multiples

So I'm in the middle of my five day vacation. A vacation that I was looking forward to because as a working mom I'm getting to spend five straight days with my kids. Well, today I feel like a big failure.

I feel like they are so used to two people being here at their becking call. My MIL and FIL both watch them 4 days a week (I'm home one day a week). Today was just horrible. They both slept pretty great through the night. They get up to eat but go right back to sleep. I can usually get them down for a morning nap really easily but the afternoons are AWFUL!!!!

Marshall is impossible to get down for a nap. It's crazy. At 1 pm I HAD to pump so while I was pumping my daughter was screaming in the swing because she was hungry and my son was throwing a fit on the floor, because that's what he does. Then I put him in the swing and feed my daughter. After 40 min of unintentially CIO he fell asleep in the swing. I put him in his crib. He was up in 30 min and soooooo crabby. 

 UGH!!! I tried everything to soothe him. I know he's tired but I can't get him to fall asleep. He fights me at every turn. I even tried to let him CIO for 5 minutes in his crib. But when I walked in there and he saw me he threw an even bigger fit. Meanwhile my daughter is either alone not receiving attention or crying because her needs aren't being met. 

I feel like they miss their g-parents being here!! It's bad enough that I have a growing resentment over them being here most of the week. I know it's working mom's guilt but I hate it. I feel very grateful to them and I know they love my kids but it's my own guilty feelings. And, I feel like they are giving my kids absolutely no self-soothing skills. I know my MIL hardly let's them fuss and with two people here for them they are always receiving 100% 1-on-1 attention. 

I'm just frustrated today. It was so difficult. Marshall was in a constant state of fuss/throwing tantrums all day and my poor calm daughter was getting no attention. 

Thanks for letting me vent. 

Report Reply to Post

Re: Two against one!!! vent

  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    (((((hugs))))) I'm sorry.
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • irish1114irish1114
    sounds like we have the same kids!  Ryan screams and cries while Keira is so calm...I always feel so bad for her because I feel like I'm giving Ryan more attention.  He won't go to sleep unless he's in my arms & I'm rocking him...meanwhile Keira sitting in the swing with this "what about me" face.  It's really hard when it's just you alone with the babies. 
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • MewissyMewissy

    I just wanted to let you know to hang in there.  It sounds like you had a very frustrating day.  I've had those when I was just the mommy of one, and they can really wipe you out.

    As for the mommy guilt, try and let it go.  (I know that's easier said than done.)  You are probably a great mom and the fact that you have people who love your children watching them is a blessing.  I know its really hard to be at work when you'd rather be with them 24/7, but it sounds like their care is great while you're gone.  If you are concerned that they aren't great at self-soothing maybe you can mention to your MIL some "tactics" or "ideas" you'd like to try to teach them these skills.  Who knows, maybe she'd be receptive :)

     

    Report Reply
  • dragonflyinndragonflyinn

    First, I am so sorry that you are having a rough few days.

    Second, I think I can relate to some extent.  I work 3 days a week.  And I am fortunate enough to have family helping and watching the boys while I am working, the unfortunate part is my MIL don't always see eye to eye.   My MIL has them two afternoons a week.  During this time she CANNOT be alone with them and always brings someone along or we provide someone for her because she doesn't want to be alone. Due do a death in the family my mom was out of town for 3 weeks and my MIL and the second person watched the boys. After that 3 weeks they were IMPOSSIBLE for one person to take care of them.  My good, somewhat easy to care for babies, became absolute terrors to care for.  They wanted to be held all the time, rocked to sleep, played with constantly.  It took me about a month of work to get them anywhere near back to normal.  I am finally to the point where I can put them down on the floor to play together (by themselves) without them both throwing a screaming fit. 

    I know how lucky I am to have help and I know how lucky I am that they want to and are willing to watch my boys, but sometimes their terms are frustrating.  There is no question (at least in my mind) that having two people watch them makes it so much harder for when only one is around.  I guess I don't have any suggestions other than to say I agree, and I am sorry, it is a tough situation.
     

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"