soooo - the lying has started - how do I address this?

KathrynMD · June 2012

I know DD concept of truth is not very good, but even if I ask it as a why question, she still denies it -

Q: Why did you pour milk on your plate? A: I didn't pour milk on my plate.

Do I argue about this or just ignore it?

The same thing happened the day before when her friend said DD hit her, but I didn't see it. "Did you hit Zoe?" No "Why did you hit Zoe?" I didn't hit her.

Do I just punish and ignore what she's saying?

webMistress0609 · June 2012

Rephrase it so she's not put in a position of lying. She's not going to want to admit to misbehaving. If you see something happen, don't ask her if she did it, just address it - "Look, Zoe is sad & hurt now that you hit her. What can you do to make her feel better? What can we do next time instead?" or "You poured your milk on your plate. You'll need to clean that up, & no more milk"

DallasTX · June 2012

I think "punish" is the wrong approach for a 3 yo. I have a 4 1/2 yo and I still see her benefitting from clear expectations and teaching around mistakes, accidents and silly behavior. I am no push-over, spilled milk would mean a clean-up, and if it was caused by bad behavior, I would TO for that, but just spilling milk would be about next steps (clean-up) and reprimand/teaching (no fooling around at the table, see how it wasted milk?).

Afterall, what's a good three yo answer to why she did something that upset you? It's usually a denial, or a frustrating 'I don't know'. Expecting them to articulate a reason is a bit unrealistic. You'll just always be frustrated.

Anyway, I don't really get caught-up in placing blame and making her admit small things like this. It keeps things very good.

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soooo - the lying has started - how do I address this?

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