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August 2012 Moms
lady_tytah
member
The stuff folks will say to kids....
lady_tytah
member
Ok so my dad's wife has one one of the most messiest.destructive personalities I have ever met. I had my daughter's birthday party Sunday. The whole day, my daughter was with her aunt (my dad's wife's daughter), uncle (BIL), my dad and his wife. Well somewhere along the course of the day she decides to ask when is the last time she talked to her bio father. Ok...some background, my daughter's father rarely calls. When I say rarely I mean about twice a yr. He's Jehovah Witness so that excludes him from calling on holidays and birthdays. (Though since his daughter isnt being raised that way you would think he would make an exception.) He is a pay check sperm donor. That's it. The last time she talked to him was probably in Jan-Feb. Ok...back to present, she has known how he is since we moved away from him 4 yrs ago. Why would you ask a 5 yr old who's enjoying their birthday party about someone they barely know? Who would do this? So tonight my daughter tells me about it and is like I dont remember when he last called. You (me) haven't called him. More background about oh a month-month and a half ago, me and her bio got into a heated argument because he doesnt call or text or skype. I told him she is old enough now to remember and him not calling, especially with me being pregnant, is hurting his place in her life more anything. I have explained to my daughter that it's up to him to call because I can only reach out so many times before I stop. (He has no custodial rights which if anyone else would be a motivator to keep in contact with his child.)
But anyway....back on subject. Why would a grown 50+ women purposely ask about something so touchy?! Why?!
Ok, rant over....sorry so long...it just really bothers me.
But anyway....back on subject. Why would a grown 50+ women purposely ask about something so touchy?! Why?!
Ok, rant over....sorry so long...it just really bothers me.
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Re: The stuff folks will say to kids....
That is so insensitive, I couldn't imagine saying something like that to a child ( or a grown up).
I hope your daughter had a great birthday party overall, happy birthday to her!
If someone said that to my daughter I would not be able to bite my tounge. My daughter is 5 and her "father" has been in and out of her life since he left when she was a month old. He couldn't "handle" the responsibility. When she was two, he would take her for a day or two once a month but that only lasted about 3 months and then I didn't hear from him again for a while. The only times he would see her after that would be when his mom or step-mom on a holiday and that is it (both whom I still talk to and keep updated because they are still sweet and never forget about my daughter). At 3 1/2 my daughter started to ask questions about when he was taking her to the zoo/park/etc. I guess he kept promising these things but we never heard from him. When she was 4 I got a job offer in another state and didn't hesitiate to take it as it was closer to my family and my grandmother who was being treated for breast cancer. My daughter is now 5, knows her step dad is not her father but calls him her Daddy anyway (none of us has told her to do that but she asked him if she could) and she calls her father "Daddy B___". Several times over the past three years I have had to comfort her and let her know that she has plenty of people who love her and that I don't know why he doesn't call (I don't want to bash him to her I want her to make her own conclusions but damn is it hard to keep my mouth shut). We lived literally two minutes away from him for 80% of my daughters life and he only saw her less than 10 times since the day he left. I have given him every opportunity to be a dad. He doesn't pay support, has no custody rights, and when I tried to get his visitation schedule established he didn't even bother to show up to court after they had already rescheduled once for his convienence.
My husband came to me with tears in his eyes the other night and told me that my daughter asked if she could have his last name too. She told him he gave it to me and her older brother and sister have it and so will the baby and that now she would like to have it. I cried. She has my maiden name right now and her "father" never signed the birth certificate and didn't show up for court to establish his parental rights so I'm actually considering it.
I wasnt there at the time. I was setting up for the birthday party. Trust me if I had she would have never set foot in my house. My dad's wife or not.
I went thru the state to pay child support otherwise I would have had to deal with his enabling mother. According to Ga state, he has no legal rights other than to pay child support and cover medical bills. His name isnt on her birth certificate either and I am already planning to hyphenate her name with my maiden and married name. My hubs has been in her life since I conceived.
It just sickens me that she thought it was even remotely ok to ask about him.
Thanks everyone for the support. I havent even tried to call her. I just cant deal with it. And to make it more annoying my daughter loves her despite her never calling, skyping or even thinking about her till she's with her grandbabies.
My husband has been with me since my daughter was 8 months old and he was the first one she walked to so I definately understand where you are coming from! I tried to go through the state to get everything set up (FL) but he never showed up to the hearing and never sent back any paperwork at all so I dropped it when I married and moved states. He has no legal, physical, visitation, custody, monetary, ANY rights to her at all. My husband wants all these rights and I am seriously considering amending her birth certificate to reflect his name for Father's Day. I was told because I am married, I can add him since nobody is listed.
If he wasnt paying child support I would do the same. Go ahead and do what you need to hun! (((hugs))
Go for it! Later in life she will know that she wasn't just born... she was CHOSEN.
Love this!!!
I love this and my pregnancy hormones are making me all teary.
This. You always wonder where he is and why he never makes an effort to call you. It hurts and that woman is a giant stinky cuntmuffin for saying that to your baby girl.