Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
NJMom050911
member
BFP #2 05/24/12 EDD 01/31/13 D&C 06/26/12 Missing you.
Diagnosed with Ashermans 11/06/12 Surgery 01/18/13, Cleared for TTC 03/01/13 BFP 03/26/13 IT'S A BOY!
Please Be Our Rainbow!
BFP #2 05/24/12 EDD 01/31/13 D&C 06/26/12 Missing you.
Re: Moms of 2+ VBAC or Repeat Section?
I wanted to VBAC with #2. I had discussed it with my OB and we were all set. Then I got sent to get a weight check U/S and they found that DD#2 was breech (my first was breech also and I had to have a scheduled c). So, a 2nd c-section was scheduled. With my 3rd, I had no choice, and I don't have a choice this time either. It's only c-sections for me.
Me, personally? I would opt for a VBAC before a c-section, but that's just me. And I have amazing c-section experiences.......
GL in your decision!!!
I had a repeat cs after my daughter's emergency c....it was a good decision bc in the end I was on bed rest and had to have dd #2 2 weeks early due to low fluid. Sure, I would've liked to have tried for a vaginal birth, but I was too afraid of it happening like it had the last time, and bc of that went ahead w/t he csections, and now will be having another in december.
It's really about your personal feeling...do you want a VBAC bad enough to try again? Or do you not care? I found I just didn't care that much, I would rather have the baby a little early and know what was going to happen.
GL whatever you decide!
I'm not sure. I was dead set on it and asked about it as they were closing me up lol But now that it's going to become a reality I'm torn. I'm deathly afraid of a uterine rupture or that she/he will be in distress again. I felt robbed of my birthing experience last time but I'd rather have a healthy baby in my arms than something going wrong. On the other hand I would rather not have my muscles cut again. I know I have a while to think about it and I hope that as we get closer the decision is easier to make. Thank you ladies for sharing your experiences.
I also had an emergency c/s with DD in which I was put under general for. It was completely awful. I had a hard time with it for months after.
This time around we decided on going with a RCS because I did not want to experience all the drama had I tried a for a VBAC and it failed (which I later found out it most likely would as my DS had/has a larger than normal head). I am so glad that I chose the c/s route. Everything went totally perfect. I am even having a great recovery. It is 200% better than last time around. I could not have asked for a better birth.... in fact I told my husband that I could do this 10 times over again. In actuality we will only go for 2-3 more children after this one.
I very much wanted a VBAC. I have a toddler and wanted a quicker recovery. Unfortunately labor did not go well and my uterus ruptured. My rupture was in the back and probably had nothing to do with my previous CS. I'm actually thankful that I had a CS with my oldest because the close monitoring with the VBAC attempt let them know that something was going wrong (with the rupture in the back the blood pooled internally and we still don't know exactly when it happened). It was scary as hell but I'm still OK with my decision to attempt it.
You need to decide how badly you want a VBAC. It's hard to care for a newborn and toddler while recovering from a CS. At the same time if your heart isn't in a VBAC, then maybe a CS is the right choice for you.
I have no regrets having a VBAC. One of my reasons for planning one was that we're not sure if we are done having kids, and I'm personally not comfortable with the risks associated with three c-sections. So having a VBAC left that door open for us.
Some women schedule a c-section at 40+ weeks, and trying for VBAC if they go into labor before then, that might be an option. It's also a good idea to think about if you'd be disappointed with not trying for a VBAC. Good luck deciding!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Have you ever considered a wait and see approach? Schedule a c/s for a set date, or go into labor with the knowledge that if things seem to get difficult or you change your mind you go with a c/s. If things go smoothly you get to give birth vaginally. It seems like a good middle ground for someone who isn't really sure.
I think this is the option I will discuss with my doctor. Thank you!