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September 2012 Moms
Newborn in the front seat of your car?
There's a Marine I work with here. His wife is about 4 weeks farther along than I am. The two vehicles they have are a Porsche and a Ford Ranger. The Porsche has no back seat, and the ranger has only the sideways fold-down seats in the back. At first, he was saying that he was going to sell one of the vehicles and buy a family-safe vehicle. He has yet to do so. I asked him about it the other day, out of friendly curiousity. He said he was keeping both vehicles and was going to put the baby in the front seat. I looked it up, and it isn't illegal in the state of California to have an infant in the front as long as there is no available back seat, which is his case.
Even though it's not illegal, I wouldn't put my baby in the front. Every single website I visted (yes, I googled) said the middle rear seat is the safest place for everyone, not just a baby.
No, I haven't really said anything to him. I told him, "Well, it's your baby I guess. I wouldn't do it, but you're the parent." I am trying to stay out of his business.
I just can't believe how un-caring some people are. I am going to do everything in my power to make sure my baby is safe. No, I'm not going to follow her around with Lysol and not let her play like a normal kid because I'm afraid of injuries, but when it comes to vehicles, I'm a little paranoid. Car wrecks are among the leading cause of death in children and newborns, and about 80% of those deaths are because the child was not seated or belted properly.
What do you ladies think? I'm not going to jump up and down and call him a bad parent. I'm going to stay out of his business. I just want your take on the whole situation.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Newborn in the front seat of your car?
I think that it's irresponsible of him and his wife to do so. Even though it isn't illegal, it's plainly not recommended. It's not safe at all. I guess it's a completely personal choice, but he really wouldn't have anyone to blame but himself if something happened in an accident (goodness forbid). I guess if the seat was at least in its proper place, he could say, "But I had the car seat where it's supposed to go. This wasn't my fault." I just feel like that is a "sacrifice" that you are supposed to make when you decide to have a baby. You will get a "family friendly" car with a backseat. This, along with many other lifestyle choices, indicates to me "not ready for baby". If you're not ready to get rid of your 2 seat pick up truck or your fast sports car, or you are not willing to buy a third, safer car... well you are probably not ready for baby.
But, all in all, it is really his own decision. If it were illegal, on the other hand, and he ignored the law... that would be a different story.
This guy needs to man up and part ways with the Porsche. Go buy a regular car that has a proper back seat and keep your baby safe.
So are they never going to go anywhere as a family? Or, I guess the wife will be climbing in the back of the truck to sit in a fold down seat when she is released from the hospital?
I wouldn't want to be stuck with 2 cars that couldn't comfortably fit my family. DH had a truck with a small cab before we had LO. We traded it in for a new car on Black Friday, a week before DS was born. Even though it is legal for the baby to ride in the front seat, it wasn't what we wanted.
Besides the front-seat issue, being military we have all sorts of free classes we can attend, including infant care, car seat safety, stroller safety, budgeting for baby, and a ton of others. He told me he refuses to to attend any class for baby. I asked him why, and he said they are a waste of time and effort, and it can't be hard to raise a baby. After all, people do it all the time, right? He makes me so mad. He and his wife are both only children, and they have no experience with babies at all. He told me he will just "wing it."
He told me this a few weeks ago, and I'm sorry (got my flame-resistant suit on) but I wasn't able to hear that without saying something to him. I told him he can't just wing-it when it comes to a child's life, and he has no experience, and it can't hurt to get some extra knowledge. I told him that I've been around babies my whole life and I know a lot about them, but I'm still going to the classes because I want to make sure I'm somewhat prepared. He wasn't hearing it. I just hope that he grows up eventually and learns something about being a parent.
Cooper Edward
9.25.12
I know, right? Especially if she ends up having to have a c/s. She's not going to want to climb in that back seat. I've been in his truck before. It's not very comfortable at all.
I'm with this. I'm not even going to criticize what he's doing. I saw someone driving with a child seat in the cab of a pick-up, didn't even think twice about it. Someone has to be doing something pretty dang bad for me to question their parenting. It's their child, let them do what they do. I'm sure they've looked into what is safe and what isn't.
"I will show you the kind of big sister I will be..."
My thoughts too, sorry.
Yep.
Youve stuck your nose into his business twice. It's not illegal to put the back in the front seat of a no back sear car, nor is it illegal to opt out of parenting classes.
Youre his coworker. Go stick your nose in someone else's business who you have a more personal relationship with. Unless he's not doing his job (at work), stay out of it. It's just unprofessional otherwise.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
See, here's the thing about everyone saying I should just keep my nose out of it. I'm not allowed to. We can get in a lot of trouble for "failure to report." If we know something is wrong and don't say anything, then we get in just as much trouble as the guy who broke the law. That's why I did some fishing and looked up the laws. I thought it was illegal. I wanted to ease my own mind. If it had turned out to be illegal, then yes, I would have said something. Since it is not, then I'm going to stay out of it. I already said that.
And another thing: He's not only a co-worker. Yes, I know I said he was, but he's kind of a friend too. We go to each other's houses and I know his wife well. No, I would not call him a close friend. He is a co-worker first. But when it comes to our unborn children (which is not a work topic, and we talk about it all the time) we can be friends about it. We're allowed to talk about stuff that is not work-related. He speaks his mind to me, and I do the same back. There are a few things I do that he doesn't agree with, and he lets me know about it, all the time. I'm sure if he got on here and started talking about my animals, you would all tell him to keep his nose out of my business as well. That's what I love about TB. Strangers who can be brutally honest to one another. If you get butt-hurt, then that's your problem.
Thank you ladies for reminding me that it is none of my business. I will try to keep that in mind the next time I speak with him.