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Blended Families
Krisx2
member
SM involvement with lawyers...?
Krisx2
member
DH talked to his lawyer last Monday. The lawyers were supposed to sit down with the judge and get the court order stating that "DH shall not receive summer parenting time" revoked and a new order to follow current CO until mediation is complete. However, the judge was out of town last week.
DH called again today, multiple times, and got no answer. As of tomorrow, SD is out of school. According to the CO we would pick her up on the 12th, but unfortunately the court order is still standing and BM won't budge. DH's lawyer said he would file for emergency parenting time, but since he won't answer DH's phone calls we can't be sure what is going on.
I am fed up. We need an answer! DH is going to miss parenting time and father's day because of all this BS! I want to look into getting a new lawyer. My question is, do you think attorneys would be willing to do phone consultations (since we live 6 hours away) with me and not DH? His work has been hounding him and taking long personal calls could jeopardize his job. I am more than comfortable calling new attorneys, but I don't want to look controlling. How much involvement does a spouse normally have with the attorney? Should I go ahead and call or wait till next week when DH can free up a lunch break?
Mio Marito per Sempre: Married 2009. SD is 12 yrs. DD is 4 yrs.
DS born 12/29/14
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SM involvement with lawyers...?
Our attorney was fine with talking to me about our case in the place of DH only once he had spoken to DH and gotten full permission. I would ask DH if he would want to do this so you can move your case forward without tying DH up on the phone at work.
I have called attorneys on my own for DH's case for consultation and find out what their retainer would be.
firstly, I would go ahead and do the emergency junction. lawyers/courts are on a time frame of their own... they take FOREVER. I don't think changing attorneys will help to be honest.
that being said, I don't see any reason why your DH couldn't consent to have the attorney discuss things with you.
personally, I don't WANT to be involved with all that crap, I have enough going on. so its on DH's shoulders. if he wants to modify the CO, he needs to take charge of the situation. but that's just my .02 cents
I would agree with to be non involved with the legal rigmarole except for the fact that I'm the one paying for the attorney. Between CS and our mortgage/bills, DH has no money to afford legal action. So since I'm paying for it, I involve myself to ensure he has all his ducks lined up and not waste my contributions.
Plus, in this situation, I want to be involved and get the situation rectified because it has a negative impact on my DD's happiness and relationship with her only sibling. DD is much more aware of her sisters absence at this stage in life and the thought of keeping them separated for 7 months is heartbreaking. I love SD and I will fight to have her in our lives at DH's side.
I wish it was easier and I didn't have to deal with the BS because, like you said, I have enough going on.
Mio Marito per Sempre: Married 2009. SD is 12 yrs. DD is 4 yrs.
DS born 12/29/14
As PPs said, your husband needs to give the attorney permission to discuss the case with you beforehand. As for the initial consultation, your husband really needs to be the one to do it. If he wants you on the line as well, that's completely acceptable. But first contact with an attorney needs to be from your husband.
In my situation, I have the most contact with my husband's attorney. This is for a number of reasons though. My husband cannot take calls while he's with patients, he's horrible at remembering dates and details, he gets flustered easily, and the attorney is a friend of my former employer's. That's how we started using him actually. Plus, I'm a paralegal so when I talk with the attorney I don't need to ask a ton of questions, I know generally what he's talking about and how the process works. The attorney always calls my husband first, and then calls me if he can't get through to him (if the matter is urgent or time sensitive). I go to all the hearings with my husband for support, but also because I generally have to testify.
I understand you wanting to be involved. As women and as mothers it's in our nature to help and protect the people we love. Unfortunately this is one of those battles that you can really only support from the sidelines. I sympathize withyou on how this is on your DD. When we have trouble brewing, my son and daughter get really upset when she tries to withhold K. It's hard seeing them so upset and not understanding why all this is happening.
I hope that your current attorney gets the emergency hearing handled soon so that your family will not have to go without seeing SD for such a long period of time. It's especially not good for SD to be separated from her father for that long. This whole situation is just so heartbreaking.
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