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December 2010 Moms
jillybean800
member
s/o men cleaning...
jillybean800
member
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a messy room, you can clearly see a list of things that would need to be done in order to clean it, but men lack that ability?
My husband is very helpful mostly...he cooks dinner every night, takes care of grocery ordering and is mostly in charge of dishes/dishwasher. But last night, I asked him to help me straighten the dining room. We walked in and he goes, "Ok, so what do you want me to do?" Me: "Help straighten up this room." Him: "Ok, yeah, but by doing what?" Me: "Can you logically see that certain things are out of place and need to be put in other places?" Him: "Like what?" Me: "Well, there are dirty dishes right there. Where do those need to go?" Him: "Don't nag me and talk to me like a child!"
Um, yeah, but weren't you just ACTING like you had no idea what to do??? He thinks I nag him when I say specific things, but I have no choice! Even last night, I listed like, 4 things I saw right away, and he was like, Well, you didn't say that when we came in. Why do I have to???
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Re: s/o men cleaning...
It definitely seems to be a common woman vs. man thing when it comes to cleaning the house.
DH is good about helping - but only when I ask for it and dumb it down pretty well. Luckily over the years we've realized that this is just what needs to be done and try not to get offended/mad at each other anymore when those converstations take place.
Like last night after DS went to bed the first thing DH did was say, "I'm going to try to figure out how to hook up your laptop to the Xbox/TV so we can watch movies that way".
I replied with, "Well, I'm going to do the dishes right now - and if I'm in the kitchen doing the dishes while you sit there and mess around with your Xbox then I'm going to be mad - so instead just help me clean up the kitchen/living room first".
DH: "How do I do that?" (um, really?!?!)
Me: "Pick up all of Jonny's toys and put them away (we have toy boxes in the living room) and make sure all the stray dishes are off the table and at the sink ready for me to wash, make sure the dog has food/water, etc"
DH: "Oh, okay. That's easy enough".
And by the time I finished all the dishes/loading the dishwasher he had picked up the house and we were both able to relax. But it would have never happened if I didn't ask him to help. He just doesn't see the mess until I point it out to him.
I had this reversed on Sunday. DH was cleaning out the garage and I went out to help him and was like, umm, okay, what should I be doing?? It totally reminded me of him when I ask him to help me clean.
MomNomster - My DH is the same way! Every night he's like, where are the pajamas? And I say, in the cubby hole you've found them in every single night since LO was born!! :P He's ridiculous.
Ditto. I lack the ability to organize. If something is too messy, I typically just leave it or wait til someone can tackle it with me because my poor little brain can't seem to process.
DH is the clutter buster in our house. I do the deep cleaning. So I guess it all works out in the end!
*Edited for spelling
Yes, I have noticed that b/c a similar thing happens here. MH claims he needs me to list every single thing so that in case he forgets something, I can't blame him. ha.
But seriously, in the time it takes me to stand there & list every single thing, I might as well have just done them myself! So I say, "I'm not going to stand here & list ever thing. YOU figure it out!"
Me too. I get overwhelmed by the mess, and I can't figure out where to start. I always ask my H to give me a to-do list of small, specific tasks if we're cleaning the house together.
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