Facebook, annoyance or not?

chance_encounters · May 2012

So I am going off of a post on a different bb that vot me thinking. These woment were ranting how they hate it when people post their pg early on (first tri) and consistantly post updates. Some end in m/c and although they felt bad for people felt it just should have not beed posted at all....or atleast that was my take on the post. Me, I like to hear when my friends are pg...doesn't matter if it is early on or after the "danger time". I would like to know your thoughts on this....

rjade9 · May 2012

I do always think it's crazy to post a really early pregnancy on FB, like right after you poas.

I won't be posting anything on FB until probably around 12 weeks although I will tell most people in person by 8 weeks because they know we went through IVF.

laurapacheco · May 2012

I think that's ridiculous. The point of Facebook is to share things like that with friends/family in a quick, efficient manner. If you don't like what your "friend" is posting (whether it's pregnancy updates, pictures of their dog or what they're having for supper)... there's a nice little thing you can click called "Hide"....

chance_encounters · May 2012

Privacy....Yes that is me!!! Thanks. I am happy for you too. I am praying this baby is my sticky one!

ungraceful13 · May 2012

I wont post until all our families know so after 12 weeks. I sort of side eye people who announce when the stick is still drying or really early but I don't say anything. Part is bc there is no way they have told their whole families yet and also the mc risk.

simplein06 · May 2012

I agree to a point. Some people don't think before they post. That is really the issue to me... not whether they post that they are preggers.

laurapacheco · May 2012

shanie33:

laurapacheco:
I think that's ridiculous. The point of Facebook is to share things like that with friends/family in a quick, efficient manner. If you don't like what your "friend" is posting (whether it's pregnancy updates, pictures of their dog or what they're having for supper)... there's a nice little thing you can click called "Hide"....

Seriously! I have some friends that constantly complain about other friends and what they are posting. Last I checked Facebook is there to post whatever you want, whenever you want. If you dont like it, hide them or delete them. It is not that hard to do.

Yep, I actually just went through and did a major "cleaning" of my FB friends list... If we're not close, I haven't seen you in a long time & you're not family-- delete! Ended up cutting my list in half, and now I'm left with just the people that I would actually care to share my pregnancy with. We plan to share it on Facebook around 8 weeks, after we've heard the heartbeat, but my closest family & friends already know.

kllrbnny · May 2012

I only have 18 FB friends and its almost all family. I've already made the announcement at work. (I'm a receptionist in a smallish office and figured they had a right to know why I was in the bathroom yakking instead of answering the phone Ick! )

With all of that said though, I still probably won't announce on FB until sometime in the 2nd tri. I can't imagine I'll put a sonogram photo up either. I have NO issue with others doing it, its just strange to me. Myspace wasn't even a thing when I had my first though-that probably has something to do with it.

Reyka9 · May 2012

We're not announcing to anyone, on Facebook or off, until the 2nd trimester. I wouldn't trust our family/friends to keep it hush-hush (all of them have severe foot-in-mouth disease, lol) and I just know someone would post a "congrats!" message on my wall, and then all the beans would be spilled from there.

==N== · May 2012

so many people on fb irrotate me. Ive dodne a huge cleanout but others are just so entertaining that i dont want to delete them even though they piss me off. As for this pregnancy i wont be saying a word on fb. If I know you well enough that we'll talk in the next 7 months then I'll definitely tell you. If not, you'll find out once its born.

bazeyjane · May 2012

I've had 2 m/c , and I dont hate when people annouce it early, i do get nervous for them, cause they are my friends and, god forbid a m/c accurs, it sucks having to go back and tell people that it didnt work out. DH and I are waiting 12 weeks to tell family, but as far as friends, we wont be doing a FB announcement at all, if people find out and post something on my wall, thats fine, I just dont like having a lot of attention on me and i try to avoid it as much as possible haha.

Pictures29 · May 2012

I know at least my Facebook is full of people who I knew for one class in college or from high school. I'm not interested in them knowing about my private life. I don't post much on Facebook - my blog isn't on there - I just use it to see how some people are doing & general updates. I won't be posting on Facebook about the pregnancy until after we have LO in our arms.

ETA we have told all of our friends by phone/Facebook message but I don't need everyone who's ever friended me knowing, especially not yet.

==N== · May 2012

shanie33:
==N==:
so many people on fb irrotate me. Ive dodne a huge cleanout but others are just so entertaining that i dont want to delete them even though they piss me off. As for this pregnancy i wont be saying a word on fb. If I know you well enough that we'll talk in the next 7 months then I'll definitely tell you. If not, you'll find out once its born.
I have a few of them and they are the best entertainment a girl could ask for.

I call them faceholes.

brianabrad · May 2012

We'll post to FB in our 12th week after we have told parents and close family and friends. I do plan to use FB message to email a majority of my family and DH's though. It's just too easy and effective not too. We want to tell them before we go "live" with the news. I'll use text to tell some of my closest friends and might call some as well.

I don't really care if people post early on or not but for me, like a PP said, its about privacy. If something happened now and this pregnancy ended in a MC, only my BFF would know and she would be there to support me. If it happened right now, we would have to tell our parents what happened and we would so they could be there to support us as well. I honestly wouldn't want the entire world knowing our business.

kenna_4 · May 2012

It's a personal choice. I don't care if people tell the second they know they are pregnant, the risk that comes with that is you have to tell a lot of people if you lose the baby, FB or real life. Many people don't mind doing that, so that's fine for them. I've told people that I would tell and need their support if anything were to happen, not people on facebook as I have many people on there I feel it's none of their business if I had a loss. I think that not telling anybody in real life is kind of strange as I would think you wouldn't want to "suffer in silence" if anything were to happen.

ballerina06 · May 2012

I posted my last pregnancy on fb at 12w1d. I found out 2 days later I had a missed m/c and had to undo it all on fb. Knowing what I went through I cringe every time I see someone post before their pee stick dries. To each their own, but I won't be posting until my a/s in August. Oh, and the constant updates drive me crazy. No one cares that much about your pregnancy.

ashdonne · May 2012

kenna_4:
It's a personal choice. I don't care if people tell the second they know they are pregnant, the risk that comes with that is you have to tell a lot of people if you lose the baby, FB or real life. Many people don't mind doing that, so that's fine for them. I've told people that I would tell and need their support if anything were to happen, not people on facebook as I have many people on there I feel it's none of their business if I had a loss. I think that not telling anybody in real life is kind of strange as I would think you wouldn't want to "suffer in silence" if anything were to happen.

This is my thought too---with DD I posted on FB at about 10 weeks---at that point we had already had 2 ultrasounds and heard the HB twice and like 6 betas because we had some concerns early on. This time around---our close family and friends know and I'm not sure when I'll go live on FB. We have an US on June 12th so maybe after that but I'm just not even certain how far along I am so we'll see. If I end up being 9-10 weeks then instead of about 7 may announce but if not we'll wait. I actually love pregnancy news so that stuff never bothers me---but for me personally FB is not a place to constantly update about your symptoms etc. Thats what the bump is for right? LOL

howleyshell · May 2012

Some people are "put it all out there" kinds of people. I think it's wonderful that some don't think twice about potential loss. Hopefully they never will, KWIM?

Announcing doesn't bug me but weekly updates annoy me. A pregnancy, especially your first is an all encompassing life event and many women van barely concentrate on much else due to the excitement and anticipation of becoming a mother for the first time.

What you realize in retrospect, however is that very few people are interested in your pregnancy on that same level.

An announcement is exciting news. Knowing that your baby is the size of a blueberry and you have breast tenderness and nausea this week is not something most care to hear about.

graciesmurf · May 2012

I'm not putting anything on my f/b page untill 12 weeks. However, I have a friend who has been trying for #2 for the past 3 years and she posts everything. I can see both sides, because if something goes wrong I'll want the support.

laurapacheco · May 2012

==N==:
shanie33:

==N==:
so many people on fb irrotate me. Ive dodne a huge cleanout but others are just so entertaining that i dont want to delete them even though they piss me off. As for this pregnancy i wont be saying a word on fb. If I know you well enough that we'll talk in the next 7 months then I'll definitely tell you. If not, you'll find out once its born.

I have a few of them and they are the best entertainment a girl could ask for.

I call them faceholes.

LMAO!

brittandjp · May 2012

If people want to announce their pregnancy early on, then the more power to them. Although I wouldn't recommend it, especially if they've just POAS. I'm with PPs about the pg updates, it's not necessary to post things daily.

There are quite a few other posts that reeeally annoy me though. For example, quit posting woe is me comments or quotes, you're just asking for attention. I also don't think it's necessary to post more than one or two status updates a day, especially if they're worthless. I don't need to know the minute by minute update of your life. I don't care what you ate for breakfast, that you just had your yearly pap, that your foot itches, or that you just went number 2. Then there are the posts that make the reader want to know more like, "Ugh, that was the worst thing that's ever happen to me!" They're clearly begging for comments and questions.

I could honestly go on. Any fb friends that do any of the above are hidden from my newsfeed or they've been deleted.

mindy0711 · May 2012

I will not be posting anything on FB until well into the second trimester. But to each their own.

My SIL is begging to tell her friends, but I told her not until 13 weeks to be safe.

jessrenee11 · May 2012

I think it depends on who your friends are. My Facebook is actually people I know and may or may not see regularly and family. It has never bothered me when people post about their pregnancies. It is no different from people who over post about their weddings, kids, pets, cars, etc. Its what important to them and they want to share. Eh I tend to be an over sharer anyway, so I guess it doesn't bother me. I mean will I be posting about mucus plugs, no. U/S and bump pics, Yes

arishia · May 2012

Eh, we posted it on Facebook when we were 4 weeks along. We had already told all of our families and close friends by that point since I knew before that I was pregnant.

We lost our last baby at 14 weeks. It was completely unexpected because we'd had a great first ultrasound at our first appointment. We went in for our second appointment to hear the heartbeat for the first time and... nothing. The baby measured 13 weeks and 5 days, so it had literally passed away sometime in the past two days.

If we had waited until 13 weeks to tell everyone, we would have announced it all happy-like then had to turn right around a few days later and announce that baby had died from a brain defect. For me, that would've been a lot worse than announcing it early (like we had) and letting family and friends rejoice in that pregnancy with us for 8 weeks before the baby died.

I think those people on Facebook need to STFU. If they don't like it, they can take that person off their feed. And they're selfish for not wanting to hear about someone's miscarriage. If you don't want to hear about that person's ups AND downs, then you shouldn't be friends with them on Facebook.

Okay /rant. :P

jterpbride · May 2012

I'll probably announce on Facebook well into 2nd tri, I'm thinking 16-18 weeks. Only reason I want to do it at all is I'm going to a wedding Sept.1 and I'll be 21 weeks. I know I'll A) see a lot of people I know and be captured in many pictures probably tagged on Facebook. If people are going to find out that way, I'd like them to hear it from me first.

It's not just superstition, it's also that I think some people just don't need to know all my business. I don't need questions from a million people, or their insight or whatever. The friends who I actually see will hear about it from me in person much earlier.

That being said, I don't care what others choose to do. I get why announcing on FB earlier is preferred for some.

However, I do think that posting about other things constantly like M/S and other first tri symptoms is silly and annoying. This is what TB is for, not Facebook. Most people who haven't been pregnant won't understand and don't want to hear about it nonstop.

Pregnant or not, I would definitely "hide" someone who constantly overshared about anything in his or her life.

StarrSquared · May 2012

I feel that it is totally up to you if you want to post it. if people dont like it they can hide the post like these other ladies are saying. im only telling my parents till about 12 weeks because if i do misscarry i need a support system and thats them. after 12 weeks though i may wait even till my first ultrasound because down here my doctors dont do that till 18 or 20 weeks. so then i can post the pic or something. to each their own though.

pthermal · May 2012

Doesn't bother me. If I'm FB friends with them then I obviously care about what's going on in their life or I should delete them anyway. Early announcements don't bother me either way.

ReeceFamily · June 2012

From a Jan 2013 lurker (have not yet officially introduced myself, I'm waiting until after my second u/s, due to a history of loss).

I am guessing the rants about FB posts come from women who are in pain from their previous losses. Everyone is certainly welcome to post whatever they want on FB. My losses have made me very sensitive to how many women out there are mourning losses, and I personally will be very sparing in my references to pregnancy on FB (if I am lucky enough to have a sticky baby this time) out of sensitivity to them. If you're on your third/fourth/fifth try, it is really painful to see someone's daily photos of their growing belly, especially if they have never had a loss and are blissfully unaware of the emotional pain, longing, and, yes, even jealousy, that women who experience losses are going or have gone through (1 in 5 of your FB women friends, whether you know about it or not).

For me, it would be hubris to post on FB in the 1st tri. But in the end, it's all about personal choice (and hopefully, moderation).

Facebook, annoyance or not?

Re: Facebook, annoyance or not?

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