I'm back =(

sloannmark · June 2012

I unfortunately am back. I'd moved on for a few months but unfortunately lost my twin boys at 17 weeks. For those of you who may remember me, it took my husband and I a lot to get here. After three surgeries on fibroids/cysts, severe endo, and still remaining fibroids, our RE thought of best (if not only) option for pregnancy was IVF, so in February, we transferred two embryos and to our surprise, became pregnant with twins. It was a difficult pregnancy- bleeding every week, blots clots, and a remaining 5cm fibroid.

On May 17, my water broke for Baby A. I spent the night in the hospital, Baby A was still alive but his fluid was low. I was put on immediate at-home bed rest. Three days later, A's umbilical cord began to come out and I returned to the hospital. An ultrasound showed that Baby A no longer had a heart beat. The doctor attempted to cut the umbilical cord and clamp it so it would not come out, but the next day, I delivered Gabriel Mark in the toilet. It was the worst moment of my life. For the next two days, I bled a ridiculous amount (one gush would soak a pad) but B was still alive. I was in discomfort and my fever was not going down. Antibiotics were not helping and I was becoming ill. On May 24, the doctor decided I needed to deliver Baby B. A few hours later, I was given an epidural, pitocin, and before I knew it had delivered Zachary David. I held him in my arms for a brief moment to say goodbye.

I'm heart broken and angry, and scared that we'll never have a family. I have a frozen embryo that in time we'll use, but I feel like my body is so messed up that it may just not ever happen.

Erica

rosemary&thyme · June 2012

***! I am so, so sorry for the loss of your two beautiful boys

((((BIGHUGS))))

Laurakat81 · June 2012

I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet boys. Sending T&P for peace and comfort. (((hugs)))

rockpaperlove · June 2012

I remember you and my heart pours with sympathy and sorrow for you and the loss of your precious boys, Gabriel Mark and Zachary David. Sending you strength and comfort during this time.

winofairy · June 2012

I am so sorry for your loss and that you have to be back here! HUGE (((HUGS)))

Native+Girl · June 2012

This breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you're going through this. T&Ps for you and YH.

MrsNukem · June 2012

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boys. Lots of thoughts and prayers to your and your DH during this difficult time.

firesiren · June 2012

I am so sorry.

LuvWIfootball · June 2012

I am so sorry for your loss.

jackiejoey · June 2012

sloannmark:

I unfortunately am back. I'd moved on for a few months but unfortunately lost my twin boys at 17 weeks. For those of you who may remember me, it took my husband and I a lot to get here. After three surgeries on fibroids/cysts, severe endo, and still remaining fibroids, our RE thought of best (if not only) option for pregnancy was IVF, so in February, we transferred two embryos and to our surprise, became pregnant with twins. It was a difficult pregnancy- bleeding every week, blots clots, and a remaining 5cm fibroid.

On May 17, my water broke for Baby A. I spent the night in the hospital, Baby A was still alive but his fluid was low. I was put on immediate at-home bed rest. Three days later, A's umbilical cord began to come out and I returned to the hospital. An ultrasound showed that Baby A no longer had a heart beat. The doctor attempted to cut the umbilical cord and clamp it so it would not come out, but the next day, I delivered Gabriel Mark in the toilet. It was the worst moment of my life. For the next two days, I bled a ridiculous amount (one gush would soak a pad) but B was still alive. I was in discomfort and my fever was not going down. Antibiotics were not helping and I was becoming ill. On May 24, the doctor decided I needed to deliver Baby B. A few hours later, I was given an epidural, pitocin, and before I knew it had delivered Zachary David. I held him in my arms for a brief moment to say goodbye.

I'm heart broken and angry, and scared that we'll never have a family. I have a frozen embryo that in time we'll use, but I feel like my body is so messed up that it may just not ever happen.

Erica

im so sorry, i am in tears, hugs xoxox

Reilly626 · June 2012

Im so sorry, may you find peace and strength.

mnj05 · June 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and YH are in my thoughts and prayers.

Ironmom2be · June 2012

I am so sorry about the loss of your boys, my heart breaks for you. You are in my thoughts, I can not even imagine what you've been through. We're here for you. ((biggest hug ever))

Mrs.McIrish · June 2012

I am so sorry for your losses. No one should have to experience what you have. Big hugs.

Aegis2005 · June 2012

I'm so sorry sweetie. Sending lots of T&P's your way during this time of grieving.

(((hugs)))

daiseydooda · June 2012

I'm so sorry. Sending T&P..

mrskitton · June 2012

I am so sorry for your loss of your two boys (((Hugs)))

stephanie1212 · June 2012

I am so so sorry for your heartbreaking losses.

LaLe09 · June 2012

I'm really sorry for your losses, it's just so unfair.

NMscubagirl · June 2012

(((super HUGE hugs)) words cannot possibly express how sorry I am for what you went through. IF is cruel and unfair. take care of yourself and know that we are here for you.

Snarling Fox · June 2012

Oh no. I'm so sorry for the loss of your two beautiful boys. Sending you and your DH lots of T&Ps.

Dori722 · June 2012

I am so so sorry. I also lost my twin son and daughter at 18 weeks after a long time of trying to get pregnant via IVF. Please believe me when I tell you that the pain never leaves you but it does get better with time. DH and I tried a FET in April but it was unsuccessful. We are trying again now with a fresh cycle. I hope you find the strength to try again for the family you want. Sending healing thoughts to you...xoxo

Gregermis · June 2012

My heart is so broken for you ((((hugs)))) We're here for you now and when you are ready to move forward again. Wish you did have to come back and join us here

d3esika · June 2012

I can't offer any comfort other than ((hugs)) and prayers. I'm sorry you and your DH are having to go through this.

OLIVEGIR0610 · June 2012

So very sorry to hear of your loss. Words are never enough but i truely hope you and your husband have a great blessing and miracle baby this time around. Sorry you are back , hope it's not for very long !

Mitzi Bishi · June 2012

I am so sorry for your losses and such a traumatic experience. There truly are no words, but please know you'll be in my thoughts.

kmc84 · June 2012

Oh my gosh.....I am heartbroken for you! I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your boys. Sending you hugs and T&Ps.

nuttycoconut · June 2012

I am so sorry for your devastating losses. I also lost my precious twins, at 22 weeks. Big huge hugs to you. It really sucks to go through all of this again:(

Jenny935 · June 2012

I am so, so, sorry. There aren't even any other words.

AquaFlowers · June 2012

So sorry for your loss. (hugs)

BzeetyD · June 2012

I'm so incredibly sorry. Hugs to you and your beautiful boys.

Whales124 · June 2012

I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss - (((HUGS)))

dalmatinka77 · June 2012

i'm in tears. i'm so sorry to hear about all this.i'm at a loss of what to say. ((hugs))

Stretchad · June 2012

I am so so sorry :-(

((HUGS))

joules12 · June 2012

Oh hon!!!! My heart is broken for you and YH! I'm so sorry that you have to go through this -- you and your beautiful boys are in my T&Ps! (((major HUGS)))

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