How on-board is your SO?

abbyful · June 2012

We just finished Bradley Birth Classes last week. I'm lucky that DH is 110% on-board. In fact, I think he's even more into natural childbirth than I am now! We're delivering at a hospital, but he's mentioned a couple times lately that for the next baby, if I'm up for it, maybe a midwife/homebirth would be nice. (Our Bradley instructor had her most recent child at home.)

It's funny because when I first got pregnant and started thinking about natural childbirth, he was like "um... ok... whatever you want I'll support you..." and though he didn't voice his opinion on it, I think he probably thought midwives and homebirths were things crazy hippies did.

aylafsu88 · June 2012

My DH has had this change too! We are almost done with our bradley classes and over the course of the class he has become totally involved and supportive of a natural birth. We I got pregnant he insisted we deliver with an OB at the hospital but now is more open to using a midwife and a birthing center next time. I think that hearing the information (from someone other than me) and actually processing it made all the difference!!

*LrCg* · June 2012

When I was pregnant with our first I can remember telling him I wanted a homebirth and he had some concerns/fears. However, he said it was my body and whatever I was most comfortable with he would support. I gave him a bunch of info and when it was time to meet midwives he got all his questions answered and was completely onboard prior to the birth. He is a huge pro-homebirther and natural birth person. I love hearing him brag how awesome the birth was, how wonderful the food was, and how great it was that we got to sleep in a comfortable bed. To which most of my friends' husbands are jealous

StefandTodd · June 2012

The Business of Being Born convinced my H that it was the right path, and Bradley convinced him BIG, in that I felt he was possibly more on board than me too. He was very on board. And this time around, we're having a home birth. He was actually a little reluctant to the home birth...but only because of the cost. We'll have to come out of pocket a little over $5000 more for a home birth than we would for a hospital birth, and we had a fantastic hospital birth with #1, so it was really hard to justify...but ultimately, we have still opted for home birth, so yeah...he's very on board.

MSC03 · June 2012

Glad your husband got on board! Mine was the same as yours--totally on board after our Bradley classes.

Which I have to tell you, REALLY helped me in transitioning, which I got "trapped" in for a long time after an already lengthy Natural Alignment Plateau. I was begging for it to be over, telling him that I didn't want to go on, etc. (Only I wouldn't use the word epidural.) He just stuck to the script and only said supportive things, which is so, so important. Transitioning and the NAP are an especially suggestible time--anything negative said to you (i.e. "she's so tired!") you can/will easily believe.

Tell him to stick to the script and remove all negativity from the room. If YOU end up making the decision on your own, he will know if/when you are for real.

KateLouise · June 2012

My DH was all, "why wouldn't you take the drugs. Why go through the pain if you don't have to? But it's up to you"

Then at our childbirth class they went through the risks of an epi. Then he was all, "i'll support you whatever, but hoorah for med-free."

Then we had DD1 and it was a great natural birth.

When I was pregnant with DD2 I was talking about the upcoming birth and said, "I think I might go for an epi this time." (I was just teasing to see what response I'd get.) and he was all, "ahhh no. why would you do that?"

BrideNamedMeg · June 2012

MH has always been a little skeptical of the "medical establishment" so he was all for going med free with out first and he was the one who eventually convinced me to go for a home birth with our second! He was a great coach, it's really awesome to have your SO supporting you every step of the way

principessa81 · June 2012

He was very supportive of my decision to go med-free when I was pregnant (even though I eventually ended up requesting an epi). From the very beginning of my pregnancy, he always said "you're the one going through pregnancy, you're the one going through childbirth, and everything is completely, 100% up to you. I'll support you in whatever decision you decide to make." That being said, when he saw how much pain I was in, he gladly agreed that I should get an epi. We've talked about our son's birth, and I told him next time I want to have a doula. When I asked for the epi, I had been laboring for 19 hours and neither of us had slept in almost 36 hours. We were both so exhausted and couldn't think clearly anymore, and I think the support of a doula would have been very beneficial.

I'm so glad your husband is so supportive!

SquirrelGirl522 · June 2012

We're not expecting yet, but I fully plan to have a natural birth. DH is totally on board - as long as it's in a hospital. The hospital my OBGYN delivers in has full birthing suites, so a natural birth with totally be doable in the hospital.

Twirple · June 2012

I had a hypnobirth and when I told DH that I wan't to take the classes, he thought I was crazy, but was willing to support me. He got even more supportive after watching the videos in class. When I had DS, it was such a positive experience for all of us that when he found out that one of his coworkers was going to be a dad he said "I have two words for you to pass on to your wife...Hypno Birthing."

Msbean22 · June 2012

Mine seems to be 100%, but I can tell he's a little unsure. We are having a hospital birth solely because of finances, and for like reasons, no doula or midwife. So I really need him to be my advocate with the doctors to express that I truly do not want to be medicated unless absolultely necessary.

I worry he's not up for that; he doesn't seem to believe me that the epidural, inducement, and cutting are done without discretion to get as many mommas in and out of the hospital as possible, and that he's not going to question these decisions once they're offered to me.

I don't know. We'll see. We missed out on the Bradley classes in our area, mainly because I didn't think they were offered, and when I found out they were I was too far along and they were too full. I think that would have helped.

celiabwatson · June 2012

All along my husband has been of the opinion "Women have been having babies for thousands of years, I'm sure you can do it". This is his opinion on many things. Anyway, he didn't like the idea of home birth because he was scared and also didn't want to deal with the mess (or getting the house "company clean" beforehand. He also has a weird connection with our dog and was worried about how she'd react. Now that we've had two successful, easy births I think he wouldn't be scared of home birth, but with two little ones running around it might be more relaxing at the birth center.

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