Alternatives to gifts? — The Bump
Baby Showers

Alternatives to gifts?

Some close friends are throwing me a very small, intimate friends only sprinkle for my son. Because my babies are close together and we have so much stuff already, and because my son will be born with a disability (unilateral club foot) that will make outfitting him tricky, I want to make sure there are no gifts. But the hostesses suggested that we do something where everyone brings something small to make something with- example would be everyone brings a swatch of fabric to make into a quilt, or a letter for his name to hang on the wall (although that wouldn't work since his name has only 4 letters. :) Any other ideas so that people might bring a little something like that in lieu of a gift? There will probably about 10-12 people at most including myself, if that helps. Thanks!

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Re: Alternatives to gifts?

  • Sorry, I guess I wasn't specific enough. Everyone invited (with the exception of my BFF) is part of a small, tight knit group and we all have older kids within 4-5 months of each other. All definitely know about my son's club foot. The hostesses will of course be the ones to spread the word about no gifts/idea of doing something else. It was just that there was an idea that people could bring something else instead. It's not like it would be required but would allow people to feel that they're contributing something without having to purchase a gift. I know most (if not all of us) feel that we'd get something for any shower/sprinkle so this was an idea of a way to not make it about gifts. They're not going to be dictating anything but trust me that it would not be unwelcome in our group to bring fabric/something else etc. for a group project. And that's what I'm looking for, just suggestions. 

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  • I'm a little flummoxed as to why they can't buy any clothes.  Doesn't every baby need onesies and long-sleeve onesies?  Regardless of whether your son uses a brace or a cast, these would be practical.  If he will wear a cast, I suggest stocking up on knit baby legs to keep the non-cast leg warm (and cute!)
    The word you're looking for is SEX.  I promise.  No, it's not gender.  It's sex.  You're welcome.
  • My friends begged me to host a sprinkle. I tried to turn it into just a GTG, maybe like a BBQ, and they rejected that idea. Short of outright saying no, which would be hurtful to them (and would almost certainly wind up in a surprise sprinkle anyhow), I am trying my best to be diplomatic with an alternate idea. Two other girls in our "circle" are also expecting and having events. One is a 40+ person sprinkle/shower which to me is crazy. I guess you all think I'm a rude biatch and that's your prerogative, but I wasn't asking for opinions on whether or not it's okay to come up with an alternate suggestion for the hostesses as was the idea. If anyone has any actual ideas they would be much appreciated. As for the clothes, we already have lots of NB and 0-3 onesies and Baby Legs. :)

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  • image MSTie24:
    My friends begged me to host a sprinkle. I tried to turn it into just a GTG, maybe like a BBQ, and they rejected that idea. Short of outright saying no, which would be hurtful to them (and would almost certainly wind up in a surprise sprinkle anyhow), I am trying my best to be diplomatic with an alternate idea. Two other girls in our "circle" are also expecting and having events. One is a 40+ person sprinkle/shower which to me is crazy. I guess you all think I'm a rude biatch and that's your prerogative, but I wasn't asking for opinions on whether or not it's okay to come up with an alternate suggestion for the hostesses as was the idea. If anyone has any actual ideas they would be much appreciated. As for the clothes, we already have lots of NB and 0-3 onesies and Baby Legs. :)

    Chill.  No one said you were a rude biatch.  They said don't tell your guests what to get you.  And if you don't want to get gifts, don't call it a shower. Call it a party.  Geesh.

    And now it seems that you don't want gifts cause you're afraid of getting clothes, but you have tons of those.  Who cares...be grateful anyway.  Use what you can.  Donate or give away what you can't.

  • If your close-knit group is used to doing projects I don't see a problem with letting it be known they should bring a swatch of fabric (certain size, etc) to put together a quilt.  It sounds like this is something they do quite often and wouldn't be offended about "being told what to bring".  Another idea is to already have a large piece of fabric that they can decorate (fabric markers) once they arrive...make it into a wall hanging in your LO's room.
  • I think it's a great idea to do something different.  You are not telling people what to bring or buy for you.  I had a friend who needed absolutely nothing as she had bought stuff over the previous few years and had several losses. so when she carried to term and her family had a shower for her, she asked that IF people brought gifts that they be able to be donated to the local NICU or children's hospital or shelter.  They are always in need for these babies.  People went nuts buying things and were actually very excited about donating to such a great cause. 
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